諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第4章Part 8

On a riverbank in the cool of a summer evening two women struggled under a shower of silveryblue. They never expected to see each other again in this world and at the moment couldn't careless. But there summer night surrounded by bluefern they did something togetherappropriatelyandwe(on) ll.(a) A pateroller passing would have sniggered to see two throw-away people,two lawless outlaws — a slave and a barefoot whitewoman with unpinned hair — wrapping a tenminute-old baby in the rags they wore. But no pateroller came and no preacher. The water suckedand swallowed itself beneath them. There was nothing to disturb them at their work. So they did itappropriately and well.
Twilight came on and Amy said she had to go; that she wouldn't be caught dead in daylight on abusy river with a runaway. After rinsing her hands and face in the river, she stood and lookeddown at the baby wrapped and tied to Sethe's chest.
"She's never gonna know who I am. You gonna tell her? Who brought her into this here world?"She lifted her chin, looked off into the place where the sun used to be. "You better tell her. Youhear? Say Miss Amy Denver. Of Boston."
Sethe felt herself falling into a sleep she knew would be deep. On the lip of it, just before goingunder, she thought, "That's pretty. Denver. Real pretty."
IT WAS TIME to lay it all down. Before Paul D came and sat on her porch steps, words whisperedin the keeping room had kept her going. Helped her endure the chastising ghost; refurbished thebaby faces of Howard and Buglar and kept them whole in the world because in her dreams she sawonly their parts in trees; and kept her husband shadowy but there — somewhere. Now Halle's facebetween the butter press and the churn swelled larger and larger, crowding her eyes and makingher head hurt. She wished for Baby Suggs' fingers molding her nape, reshaping it, saying, "Lay emdown, Sethe. Sword and shield.
Down. Down. Both of em down. Down by the riverside. Swordand shield. Don't study war no more. Lay all that mess down. Sword and shield." And under thepressing fingers and the quiet instructive voice, she would. Her heavy knives of defense againstmisery, regret, gall and hurt, she placed one by one on a bank where dear water rushed on below.

在一個夏夜微涼的河岸上，兩個女人在銀藍色的光芒下掙扎着。她們根本沒想過在這個世界上還有重逢的機會，而且在那個時刻也毫不在意。可是，在一個夏夜，在藍羊齒中間，她們一道把一件事情做得很恰當、很好。如果有個過路的糾察看到這樣兩個被遺棄的人，兩個無法無天的亡命徒———一個奴隸和一個散發跣足的白女人———用她們穿的破衣裳包着一個剛剛出生十分鐘的嬰兒，他肯定會哧哧竊笑。可是既沒有糾察，也沒有牧師。河水在她們身下吮吸、吞噬着自己。她們工作的時候沒有任何干擾。於是她們把事情做得很恰當、很好。
曙光來臨，愛彌說她得走了；她不能大白天在人來人往的河邊跟一個逃犯一起讓人一把抓住。她在河裏洗淨了手和臉，然後站起身來，低頭看着系在塞絲胸前襁褓中的嬰兒。
“她永遠也不會知道我是誰。你會對她講嗎？是誰把她帶到這個世界上來的？”她揚起下巴，把目光轉向太陽曾經駐足的地方，“你最好告訴她。你聽見了嗎？就說是愛彌·丹芙小姐。波士頓人。”
塞絲感覺到自己正在睡去，而且知道這一次會睡得很沉。在夢的邊緣，在墜落之前，她想：這名字好聽。丹芙。真好聽。
是全部放下的時候了。在保羅·D到來並坐在她門廊的臺階上之前，一直是起居室裏的喃喃低語給了她活下去的勇氣。幫她忍受那個向她大施懲罰的鬼；爲她重新擦亮霍華德和巴格勒兒時的臉龐，保持它們在這個世界上的完整，因爲在夢裏她只見到它們在樹木中間支離破碎的樣子；並且確保她的丈夫雖然形象模糊卻仍舊存在———在某個地方。現在，黑爾的臉在榨牛油機和攪乳機之間越脹越大，越脹越大，擠滿了她的眼睛，讓她頭痛欲裂。她渴望貝比·薩格斯還能用手指來捏着她的後頸，一邊重塑它，一邊說：“放下吧，塞絲。劍和盾。
放下吧。放下吧。兩樣都放下吧。放在河邊吧。劍和盾。別再研究戰爭了。把這一切污七八糟的東西都放下吧。劍和盾。”在那緊壓的手指和平靜的教誨下，她會的。所有抵禦苦難、悔恨、苦惱和傷痛的沉重的刀子，她將它們一把一把地放在岸上，清澈的河水在下面奔涌。