母親給孩子的人生四課

School started yesterday and my first grader, Sweet P, is now a second grader and I am no longer allowed to walk her to the bus stop. But I can, I am told, stand at the bottom of the driveway and watch her ride by. I am also welcome to wave and she may wave back.

新學期又開始了，我的孩子也該上2年級了，我不能再送她到汽車站達車上學了。我唯一能做的是在路口等待載着她的公車開過。我會對她招手，她也對我招手。

I miss her already. She's headed into another new adventure. And so I am I. Life is like that. Expansive, with new skills to develop, new lessons to learn.

我停止不了對女兒的想念。我知道她這是她成長路上新的探索，對我而言又何嘗不是呢？人生本來如此，無論在那個階段，我們都需要不斷學習。

Today I'm thinking about some of the lessons I am teaching my daughter.

今天，我想起了我教女兒成長的一些知識。

These are the basics. They are my lessons, too.

這些知識很基礎，然而對於我來說卻也是衆生收益的。

Lesson #1 -- Be kind, even when the other kid doesn't deserve it.

第一課——友善，無論對誰都要有顆友善的心

Kindness and compassion, Sweet P, can change the world and often it's the people who seem the least deserving who need both the most.

我親愛的寶貝，友善和富有同情心可以改變世界。很多人貌似冷酷，事實上他們也許是最需要友善和同情的。

One day, when you were in preschool, I watched you through the narrow little window in the door to your classroom and saw a punk kid knock you over. Every cell in me wanted to bust through that door, leap over the little table, grab that kid by the back of his overalls and haul him off to juvie.

有一天，我到幼兒園來看你，我透過窗戶看到一個小孩把你撞翻了。我好想衝進你的教室，跳過那些小桌子椅子，從背後抓起那個撞翻你的小男孩，把他送進少管所。

But, he was three and you were three and I thought, well, maybe a little push doesn't qualify as strike one in the criminal justice system's penal code. I'm also pretty sure I couldn't actually leap over the table. So, I let it go.

但是，我又想，她和你一樣，也才三歲。也許孩子間的推推嚷嚷不至於將其定義爲犯罪吧。與此同時，我也不能真的衝進教室。所以，我選擇了放手。

I'm learning to do that a lot in this life, to let go. It doesn't help to hang on to the hurt or judgment. It doesn't work to blame or criticize. Those approaches only serve to keep you stuck. But compassion is freeing. It uplifts both you and the person you are sharing it with. When you act with compassion you are living from your highest potential and connecting with your greatest self. The more you can do that, the better you'll feel in this life.

在我的生活裏，我也嘗試過很多次試着放手。雖然，學會放手不會減輕生活裏的傷痛或是改變什麼，也不會讓你的情緒得以發泄，也許你任然會被生活所困。然而，富有同情心是一種釋放。會讓你和感受到你同情心的人得到精神上的洗禮。當你對一切都附有同情心時，你會發揮自己最大潛力。你也會在生活終覺得自己有無限的正能量。

Lesson #2 -- Don't let others determine how you feel about your life.

第二課——不要讓被人爲你的人生做決定

When you are accountable for your life -- and all the actions and emotions and beliefs that come with it -- Sweet P, you get to create your experience. Sure, you're going to encounter snarky people and disappointing outcomes, but you always, always get to decide how you'll respond to those circumstances.

對你自己的生活負責——親愛的寶貝，你生活裏的行爲，你的情緒和信仰都要對自己負責任。當然，在人生中，你會遇到很刻薄的人和很無奈的事，但是你要做那個對自己所處情況有擔當的人。

They don't have to be setbacks. Don't shy away from doing what you want to because you're afraid, or people are difficult, or it feels too hard. Instead, lead with compassion and then get busy creating the experience you want.

自己做決定不見得會失敗。不要因爲害怕而不敢做決定。每個人情況不一樣，感覺也不一樣。所以，用你的有第一課做引導，開創自己的人生。

Your dreams aren't dependent on anyone else -- though many people will influence them along the way. Be open, but be determined. You get to decide how to live this moment and then the next. When you know this, anything is possible.

實現夢想不能依靠任何人——儘管在這個過程裏很多人會影響你。要從諫如流，但自己拿主意。要明確你的近期目標和長遠目標。當目標明確了，夢想就會照進現實。

Lesson #3 -- Say "thank you." Slowly. Always.

第三課——學會說謝謝

Feel free to practice this lesson around the house. Try this:

寶貝，你可以在自己的房間裏練習這一課, 你可以這樣說：

"Thank you for dinner, Mama."

“謝謝你爲我做晚餐，媽媽。”

"Thank you for finding my coat behind the couch."

“謝謝你在沙發後面找到我的衣服”

"Thank you for not wearing your pajamas to the bus stop, Mama."

“謝謝你沒有穿穿睡衣來公車站接我，媽媽。”

When someone helps you out, stop, look them in the eye and say "thank you." This allows you to connect with the others. It will also remind you of all the good stuff you have in your life.

當有人幫助了你，你要放下手中的事，真誠的看着他們的眼睛道謝。這是你和別人講話的禮貌。也可以提醒你自己人生中存在美好的事物。

It's easy to get sidetracked and whiny about all the things going wrong, but thank you is a way of remembering all that is right.

當事情不順利的時候，我們容易走彎路，也容易變得喋喋不休的抱怨。但是，當你感激別人的時候，也提醒了你自己什麼是對的。

We can have disappointment and sadness and still appreciate the beauty of the leaves. We can be angry and frustrated and be grateful for the people who love us. When you practice gratitude often, constantly, consistently, your days will be brighter.

我們有時候會失望，有事後會傷心，但任然期望美好的事物；我們有時會憤怒，有事會沮喪，然欣慰還有愛我麼的家人。但你一直堅持感激這些美好的事物存在，你每天就會過得更陽光。

Lesson #4 -- Be who you are, it is enough.

第四課——做你自己

Second grade is going to have some messy moments, no doubt. No matter how old you get, you'll always have times when you feel inadequate.

毫無疑問，二年級會遇到比比一年級更多的難題。但無論你多大，在你沒準備好以前，總會有時間。

But if you show up, do your best and be who you are -- I promise you, it will be enough. You have all that you need to recover when your feelings are hurt, you have all the talent and imagination and intelligence you need to make a positive contribution -- you already do it every day. You are amazing. We all are. Look for that in yourself. And when you feel confused and hurt and can't see your own awesome -- come on home. I'll hold you and hug you. It really can be that simple.

但如果你想展示你自己，你應該做到最好，並且保持本真。我想你保證，這樣就足夠了。相信我，當你受到傷害，你會學會自我康復；當你想奮鬥，你的聰明才智會幫你實現理想。你每一天的成長都告訴我，你是多麼不可思議的一個孩子。你要學會看到自己的優點。當你在生活中困惑了，受傷了或是不能欣賞到自己的優勢了。親愛的寶貝，你只需要回家。我會抱你在懷中，爲你排憂解難。就這麼簡單。

It is powerful to sit with the ones who love you. Find those people. Care for them. Go to them and make room for them to come to you. Know that real love isn't meant to hurt.

坐在愛你的人身旁你會永遠無窮力量。同時，用愛幫助那些需要幫助的人，要知道，真愛無敵。

These are the basic lessons, Sweet P. When we stay close to them they help us find peace, joy and a harmony in life that carries far beyond second grade.

這些都是人生中最基本的知識我的孩子。當你理解這些真諦，你的生活就會安詳快樂，帶你走過年年歲歲。