優衣庫找費德勒拍了新廣告,外媒開始瘋狂嘲笑大綱
Poor Roger Federer. The man widely regarded as the world’s greatest tennis player in history is only seven months into his deal with clothing giants Uniqlo and they have already made him look an absolute plum.
可憐的羅傑·費德勒，這個在全球被廣泛視爲史上最偉大網球運動員的男子，他和服裝巨頭優衣庫的合同才簽了7個月，而後者已經讓他看起來像個徹底的傻瓜了。The Swiss player is no stranger to toe-curling advertising campaigns, of course.
當然，這位瑞士運動員拍廣告蹩腳已經不是一天兩天了。But his latest foray into salesmanship raises the face-palm bar way, way higher than a garment which combines technologically advanced fabric and large, easy-to-close buttons. Way higher.
但他最新的這次向銷售員的轉型真的讓人捂臉，其強烈程度遠高於一個把高科技先進面料與易於操作的巨大鈕釦相結合的服裝品牌。真的高多了。
This 30-second masterpiece-cum-car-crash opens with the great man standing at a piano in a well-appointed house. Federer is clad in jeans of an Eighties hue and a khaki green shirt.
在這段30秒的教科書級別車禍現場一樣的廣告的開頭，這位人生贏家站在井然有序的家中的鋼琴前。費德勒穿着一條有80年代影子的牛仔褲，還有一件卡其綠的襯衫。
It then cuts to a close-up of his face, caked in production make-up. “I could only think of tennis and nothing else when I first started,” he says, before playing the opening bars to “Prelude No 1 to Well Tempered Clavier” by Johann Sebastian Bach. Really. The 20-time Grand Slam winner can play Bach.
然後鏡頭切換到了他的臉部特寫，上面蓋滿了拍攝需要的化妝品。他說：“當我剛入行的時候，我腦子裏只有網球。”然後他開始在鋼琴上彈奏約翰·塞巴斯蒂安·巴赫的《十二平均律第一序曲》。對，真的，這位得過20次大滿貫的球員能彈巴赫。“Once I began taking time for myself,” he continued over the music, “that’s when I truly started winning. My time off the court is just as important as my time on. Because tennis is just the beginning of my story. I am just getting started.”
彈完之後，他繼續說：“但直到我終於開始自由支配時間，我才真的體會到什麼是贏。我在場外的時間就和在場上的時間一樣重要。因爲，網球只是我故事的開端，而我的故事纔剛剛開始。”Which on first listening is all great – until you remember that a career in the resolutely individual activity that is tennis could be seen as the epitome of “taking time for myself”.
這一切乍聽之下似乎都不錯，但你很快意識到他的這個名爲網球的事業似乎本身就代表着“自由支配時間”。And then comes the clincher. The music stops. “My life, my jeans,” Federer adds, surely weeping inside. “Authentic jeans with all day comfort.”
之後的橋段就更讓人咬牙切齒了。音樂一停，費德勒開始說：“我的生活，我的牛仔褲，全真的牛仔褲帶來全天的舒適。”他說這話的時候心裏肯定在哭。It is just that he doesn’t actually seem to be acting. He is trying to sound earnest. To think that Federer has over nine years remaining on his deal. What will they make him do next?
更要命的是，他似乎並不是在演戲，他是在努力讓自己聽起來更真誠。想想看，他和這家公司的合同還有9年啊，他們之後會讓他再做些啥呢？
