五步法戰勝公開發言恐慌症

Until a couple of years ago, the thing that frightened me more than anything else — even more than my childhood terror of bats making a nest in my hair — was standing up before a group of benign people and opening my mouth.

直到幾年前，最讓我害怕的事——比小時候害怕蝙蝠在我頭髮裏築窩還甚——就是面對一羣善良的人們開口講話。

My fear of public speaking was as irrational as it was extreme.

我對公開發言的恐懼既嚴重，又沒道理。

So much so that I spent the first two decades of my working life going to great lengths to ensure I never had to do it.

以至於我用職業生涯的前二十年竭力確保自己永遠不會跟這事沾邊。

Then, around my 40th birthday, I decided this was not only career limiting but also pathetic, and so started to force myself to accept invitations.

後來，在我40歲生日前後，我認爲這種恐懼不僅令我事業受限而且還很可悲，於是我開始強迫自己接受演講邀約。

The night before my first big speech I was so nervous I failed to sleep at all, and in the morning put on bright pink shoes in the fond hope that the jauntiness of my feet would trick the audience into thinking their owner felt the same way.

在我第一次重要演講的前一夜，因爲太過緊張我一點都睡不着覺，第二天早上我穿了雙亮粉色的鞋，一廂情願地希望自己輕快活潑的雙腳可以哄得觀衆以爲我本人也一樣淡定自若。

Fifteen years on I have dispensed with the pink shoes and speak with almost no fear.

十五年過去，我已不再需要粉色的鞋並且可以幾乎無所畏懼地發言了。

My body obligingly generates just about enough adrenalin so that I focus on what I am meant to be doing, but that’s about it.

我的身體通情達理地分泌出剛好適量的腎上腺素讓我既可以專注自己要做的事，又不會緊張過度。

My history, and my sympathy for the millions similarly afflicted, means I get cross every time I see dud advice.

我的經歷，以及我對數百萬有類似困擾的人們的同情，讓我每次見到沒用的建議就火大。

The Harvard Business Review recently published a piece on the subject in which it suggested the trick is to leverage our physical bodies to be more present.

《哈佛商業評論》(Harvard Business Review)近日發表了一篇關於這個問題的文章，其中提到克服緊張的訣竅是調動我們的身體更多地感受當下。

I have no idea what leveraging your body involves, but it does not sound comfortable.

我不知道要怎麼調動身體，這聽起來就不舒服。

In any case, being present before a speech is a bad idea.

不管怎樣，在演講前感受當下都是個餿主意。

What you want to do is to absent yourself as much as possible in the hope of calming down a bit.

那時你只想讓自己儘可能脫離當下，以求能稍微冷靜一點。

Even more laughable is the tip that you get a good night’s sleep beforehand.

更可笑的是這個訣竅：你要在演講前一晚睡個好覺。

Quite how one is supposed to do that when the whole point about nerves is that they are incompatible with sleep is not made clear.

緊張之所以討厭，就在於它讓人睡不好覺，演講前一晚緊張不已的時候究竟如何才能睡個好覺，文章倒沒說。

The more interesting question is which is worse: to zonk yourself with sleeping pills and be groggy in the morning, or to be sleepless and jangly with exhaustion?

更有意思的問題是，下面兩種情況哪一種更糟：是讓自己吃幾片安眠藥睡過去然後第二天早上昏昏沉沉，還是一晚無眠後因筋疲力盡而過度聒噪。

Over the years I have found an answer to this question and have developed a five-step approach to mastering the panic of presentations.

這些年來我找到了這個問題的答案，並且形成了一套掌控演講恐慌的五步法。

First, on the question of substances, I have found the problem with sleeping pills is that they not only remove nerves but also remove all feeling altogether.

首先，關於是否使用藥物的問題，我發現安眠藥的問題在於，它在消除緊張的同時，也會把其它感受一併消除。

Being shattered beats being a zombie.

筋疲力盡總好過變成行屍走肉。

Beta blockers, in extremis, work better for calming nerves.

如果非要吃藥的話，用倍他樂克來安撫神經要好一些。

So does a small amount of alcohol.

喝一點酒也同樣可行。

For a morning speech a nip from a hip flask may not be quite the thing, but for evening speeches one (or two) glasses of wine take the edge off.

如果早晨演講，從隨身攜帶的小酒壺裏喝兩口可能不是太好，但如果演講在晚上，喝上一杯（或兩杯）紅酒確實能安神。

The next tip is to offset the fear of speaking with a larger, more rational one.

我的下一條小竅門是，用一種更大、更理性的恐懼來抵消對發言的恐懼。

Once, when cycling to the place where I was due to speak, I narrowly avoided being squashed by a cement mixer.

曾經，我在騎車去演講現場的路上，險些被一臺混凝土攪拌車撞得稀巴爛。

The reminder that I felt no fear at the very real risk of death, and every fear at risk of giving a slightly lame talk shamed me into being less afraid.

想到自己面對非常切實的死亡風險尚且無所畏懼，對演講可能表現不好的所有恐懼都讓我感到羞愧，害怕之情也隨之減輕。

My third tip is to remind yourself how godawful most business people are at speaking.

我的第三條小竅門是，想想多數商界人士的演講有多糟。

The usual advice, ensure your speech goes before other people’s, only works if the others are unusually good.

通常教人克服緊張的建議，都是讓你確保自己比別人先發言，而這隻在其他人表現得非常好時才奏效。

Otherwise it is better to go later and calm yourself beforehand by watching their substandard performances and noting the audience’s boredom.

否則還是晚一點上臺爲妙，通過旁觀別人差勁的表現、注意到聽衆對他們的演講感到多麼無聊來鎮定自己。

The bar is low: you can easily clear it.

大家講得都不怎麼樣：你很容易就能達到平均水準。

The fourth piece of advice ought not to need saying: always arrive unfeasibly early.

第四條建議本應是不言而喻的：永遠儘可能地提前到場。

Reduce to zero the risk that speech nerves are compounded by lateness ones.

杜絕這樣的風險：因擔心遲到而對演講更加緊張。

My final tip is the most painful, but also the most effective.

最後一招最痛苦，但也最有效。

It is to practise in front of the world’s most unforgiving audience — a yawning teenager who never laughs at any of the jokes and keeps asking, How much more of this is there? Bad rehearsal, good performance.

就是在全世界最挑剔的觀衆面前演練——一個任何笑料都難以取悅的呵欠連天的少年，還不停地問：還有多久完事？糟糕的預演，不錯的表現。

In the long term, there are two things that work better than these five tips put together.

長遠看來，有兩件事比上面五條加起來還管用。

The first is experience.

第一就是經驗。

The more talks you give the less nervous you get — partly because you improve, but mainly because you work out that the world does not end if things do not go quite to plan.

講得越多你越淡定——部分原因在於你進步了，但主要是因爲你懂得了，情況進展不盡如人意並非世界末日。

Better still is getting old.

更管用的是年紀漸長。

One of the beauties of being over 50 is that you go post-fear, at least at work.

年過五十的一件美事就是你超越了恐懼，至少在工作上是這樣。

I am still frightened by what is happening in the world.

我仍會被世界上發生着的事嚇到。

I am still frightened for my children.

我也仍會爲我的孩子們擔驚受怕。

But I am no longer frightened about myself.

但我不再會爲自己驚慌失措。

As for standing up in front of a friendly audience and talking on something I know about — I can hardly remember why it seemed so scary.

至於面對一羣友好的觀衆談些我所瞭解的事——我已不大記得爲什麼以前它讓我那麼害怕。