丈夫自殺後,我和我的7個孩子是如何度過的
On the morning of September 15, 2007, my husband was supposed to be meeting one of the clients of the entertainment business we ran together but he never made it to the appointment.
我和我的丈夫共同經營一家娛樂公司，2007年9月15日的早晨，我的丈夫本應與一位客戶見面，但他卻未能如約而至。Shortly after he was expected, I got a call from the client, who was confused about the missed meeting. Two of my girls went to look for him and found his car parked near the woods and returned with a suicide note folded up. I couldn't bear to open it. Everything began happening quickly after that.
約定會面時間沒過多久，我接到了客戶的電話，他對丈夫未能露面感到茫然不解。我的兩個女兒跑出去找她們的爸爸，發現他的車停在樹林附近，回來的時候她倆拿着一張摺疊着的遺書。我不忍打開它。很快，所有的事情都接踵而至。I barely remember the details of that afternoon. All I remember is the deafening buzz of helicopter blades. Today, I experience post-traumatic stress whenever I hear that sound. I hear helicopters coming miles away; my brain seems to tune into them wherever they are.
我記不清那天下午具體發生了什麼事情。我只記得直升機螺旋槳那震耳欲聾的嗡嗡聲。時至今日，只要我聽到那個聲音，我都會有經歷創傷後的壓力。我聽到遠處直升機的聲音，但我的大腦卻能立刻將它識別出。
Early days with Paul
與保羅在一起的早年時光I met Paul in 1984 when I was 25, he was two years older; I thought he was a real idiot the first few times we met. But the more we hung out, I realised we quite liked each other
1984年，25歲的我遇上了保羅，他比我大兩歲。剛開始見面的那幾次，我覺得他就是個大傻子。但隨着見面次數的增多，我意識到：我們非常喜歡彼此。He had an unusual personality - in a good way. He was an entertainer so was outgoing, he was funny and loved to joke around but then he had an intense side, too. I loved how passionate he could be - but sometimes it crossed a line.
他的個性與衆不同--讓人喜歡的那種。他是位藝人，所以十分外向、風趣、喜歡開玩笑，但他也有認真的一面。我喜歡他的熱情--但有時他的熱情會跨越底線。A few months into our relationship, while on holiday, I accidentally called him by my ex-partner's name. He became so angry that he threw the bed across the room. But then, we went down to the beach and were madly in love. It's hard when you're in that world to realise what's going on, I made excuses for him.
戀愛幾個月後，在度假的時候，我不小心將他喊成了前男友的名字。他超級生氣，竟然將牀掀翻到屋子的另一側去。但之後，我們去了沙灘，又瘋狂的相愛了。當你迷戀某人的時候，你很難看清事情的本質，我爲他的行爲找了藉口。Paul and I got married when I was pregnant with the twins. We'd already had Jamie in 1991 and Kacie a few years later but Paul suddenly decided that while it was ok to have two children outside of marriage, it was not ok to have four.
懷雙胞胎的時候我和保羅結婚了。1991年我們已經生下了傑米，幾年後又生下了凱茜，但保羅卻突然決定結婚，他認爲不結婚有兩個小孩沒有問題，但不能不結婚卻有四個小孩。All seven of our children have 10 letter: Jamie-Jodie, Kacie-Kimie, twins Lorie-Lanie and Mirie-Marie, Nikita Nina, Osborn-Oran and our youngest Pippa-Peita. Paul was very specific when it came to the kids' names -I had absolutely no say in it. I could choose a couple of the names but only if they fell within the constraints of his rules.
我們的7個孩子都有10個字母的名字：Jamie-Jodie，Kacie-Kimie，雙胞胎Lorie-Lanie和Mirie-Marie，Nikita Nina，Osborn-Oran和我們最小的孩子Pippa-Peita。在給孩子起名字這個問題上，保羅十分明確--我毫無發言權。我也可以選一些名字，但前提必須符合他定下的規則。
