我的妹妹患了抑鬱症,但她不想接受我的幫助
My younger sister has been very depressed about her boyfriend's poor treatment of her, which ended recently with his leaving her apartment where he'd lived for four years. She's 34 and has two kids, 13 and 11, from a previous relationship. Her boyfriend's 26.
我的妹妹因爲男朋友對她不好而感到抑鬱，最近，他離開了她的公寓（他已經在那兒住了4年了），事情告一段落。妹妹34歲，和前任生了兩個孩子，一個13歲，一個11歲。她的男朋友26歲。He was a new immigrant here when they met through family. She was immediately taken with him, though he had nothing, and moved him in without rent or food money from him. But he was ambitious, went to school, got a job and got promoted. She's got an OK job, but she's always been needy and too giving in her relationships.
他們因爲家人介紹而相識，他是一位新移民。她立馬被他吸引，儘管他一無所有。她不收租金也沒要食品錢，就讓他住了進來。但他野心勃勃，上了學、找到了一份工作、升了職。妹妹的工作還不錯，但她一直沒錢，感情中又付出太多。She's the dependent type, like our mother who cried for years after our father left. I'm the opposite. Things deteriorated when her boyfriend bought an expensive car, smart clothes and started staying out late with "friends." She accused him of being with other women, but he always denied it.
她是那種黏人型的女生，像我們的母親一樣，父親離開後，母親哭了好多年。而我正相反。當她的男友買了一輛超貴的汽車、漂亮的衣服、開始與'朋友'在外面呆到很晚的時候，事態開始惡化了。她指責他和其她女人在一起，但他總是否認這一點。
Now he's gone and she's devastated, constantly crying and retelling her story. I want to help her, but she rejects my opinions. I tell her to accept that it's over, focus on her kids, get out with friends and even find a new job. I want to get her a therapist for her depression, but she acts as if I'm insulting her.
現在他走了，她悲痛欲絕，總是哭着訴說自己的故事。我想幫她，但卻被她拒絕了。我讓她接受他們已經結束的事實、專心撫養孩子、和朋友出去聚會、甚至可以找一份新工作。我想給她找個治療師、治療她的抑鬱。但她卻表現得好像我在侮辱她一樣。How can I help her?
我怎樣才能幫到她呢？Worried Sis
憂心忡忡的姐姐：Your advice is good, but she doesn't want it from you.
你的建議很棒，但她卻不想你給她建議。She is who she is. Being a sister doesn't mean you're the one who can or should change her. What she wants from you is caring support.
她就是她。姐姐這個身份並不意味着你可以或者應該改變她。她想從你身上得到的，只是你的關心和支持。Yes, therapy could help her adjust to this loss, but she has to want it in order to benefit. However, depression can become chronic and that affects her kids' environment and her own mental health.
是的，治療或許能幫助她適應損失，但前提是她得接受，這樣才能從中受益。然而，抑鬱可能發展爲慢性疾病，這會影響孩子的成長環境、也會影響她自身的心理健康。
If it persists, suggest she see her doctor (accompany her, if she lets you) so she can manage her daily life. If she won't accept this from you, try to enlist her closest friend.
如果這種情況持續下去，你可以建議她看醫生（如果她允許的話，可以陪着她一起去），這樣她就能管理自己的日常生活。如果她不接受你的建議，那就試着找她最好的閨蜜。You know yourself best. If you fear that responding to him will take you down frustration while trying unsuccessfully to help this guy after years of his troubles, then you're not the right support person for him anyway.
你最瞭解你自己。如果你擔心迴應他會讓你陷入沮喪，雖然多年的麻煩和嘗試都沒能成功幫到他，那你可能並不是那個最適合支持他的人。
