考研英語寫作小作文批改範文：投訴信（二）
0-4分
第一篇：
Dear manager,
I am Li Ming. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life. In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october. In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.
I appreciate it very much if you could refund me, preferably, as soon as possible, and I would like to have this matter setteled by three days.
Thank you for consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming.
修改意見：
Dear manager,
I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy(改爲bought) in your shop in february(拼寫錯誤，改爲February).
The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life(不能理解你的意思). In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october(這是中式英語，應刪除，此外月份要大寫). In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this(改爲these) circustances(拼寫錯誤，改爲circumstances), I find it terrible to your work and upset me.(用法錯誤，這個句型是I find it +adj+that/to do sth.)
I appreciate it very much if you could refund me(加the money), preferably, as soon as possible (preferably 後面加進一步的要求，加動詞原型),and I would like to have this matter setteled (拼寫錯誤，改爲settled)by(後面是具體的時間，此處應改爲in) three days.
Thank you for (加your)consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming.
2分
微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞空一格。語法錯誤比較多，建議你多背一些好的句型，此外，再細心一點，儘量避免出現單詞拼寫錯誤。
第二篇
Dear Sales Manager,
I am a senior in the Computer Science Department of Fudan University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about this book Practical Writing for NETEM bought in your bookstore last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is to exert amount of the obvious faults in this book. In the fist place, the explanation and analysis about the portion of reading comprehension is shown as uncertain to cause easily some mistakes in my mind. In addition, owing to not follow the standard form in print, the words and sentences can not be clearly identified. Under these circumstances, I find it worse to waste my valuable time and energy.
I appreciate it very much if you could be returned this book, preferably refund me the money, and I would like to have this matter settled within seven days.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sales Manager,
I am a senior in the Computer Science Department of Fudan University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about this book Practical Writing for NETEM bought in your bookstore last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is to exert(改爲 there are a)amount of the (刪除)obvious faults in this book. In the fist(拼寫錯誤，改爲 first) place, the explanation and analysis about the portion of(刪除 the portion of ) reading comprehension is shown as uncertain to cause easily some mistakes in my mind(不能理解你要表達的意思). In addition, owing to not follow the standard form in print, the words and sentences can not be clearly identified. Under these circumstances, I find it worse to waste my valuable time and energy(這句話沒寫完，後面還要加上to do …).
I appreciate it very much if you could be(刪除be) returned(用詞不當，此外，此處應該用動詞原形) this book, preferably refund me the money, and I would like to have this matter settled within seven days.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
3分
微點評：請注意提高英語的表達能力，你的作文中存在表述不清的句子，這在作文中是很嚴重的問題。建議你多背一些滿分作文，積累一些好的句型。
第三篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use it during a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery needs recharging after using mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use(改爲using) it during (for)a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience (改爲inconvenient)to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery (battery)needs recharging after using(加for) mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom(拼寫錯誤，導致我不清楚你要表達的意思) are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
4分
微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞要空一格。建議你寫完作文後再檢查一遍，如果僅僅是因爲拼寫錯誤，造成老師對整篇作文的理解出現偏差，最終影響分數是得不償失的。
第四篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a customer. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the poor quality of TV which I had bought in your department stores last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the worst after-sale service. In the first place, the saleswoman’s attitude is bad extremely. She shouted at me rudely and refused to examine it. In addition, because my abnormal operation resulted in the television’s fault, she r these circumstances, I find it regretful to complaint the issue to occur any conveniences for you.
I appreciate it very much if you could solve the problem, preferably another replace it, and I would like to have this matter settled by next week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a customer. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the poor quality of TV which I had (刪除)bought in your department stores last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the worst(改爲bad 或者awful) after-sale service. In the first place, the saleswoman’s attitude is bad extremely. She shouted at me rudely and refused to examine it. In addition, because my abnormal operation resulted in the television’s fault, she said(這裏應該再指出一個問題，而非第一個問題的論據)r these circumstances, I find it regretful to complaint the issue to occur any conveniences for you.(不能理解你的意思)
I appreciate it very much if you could solve the problem, preferably another(刪除) replace it(加with another one), and I would like to have this matter settled by next week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
2分
微點評：要正確理解in the first place 和in addition 的邏輯關係，這無論是在大作文還是在小作文中都是非常重要的。此外，該段的最後一句應該寫，這種情況對你造成的不便。
第五篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am the one who bought a mobile phone from your online store in July 1. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the problems after using it for a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that the phone can not meet my requirements. In the first place, the battery needs recharging after 5 hours of use. In addition, the internal mernory is too small to store a song. Under these circumstances, I find it is regretful to bring the trouble which I can not accept it.
I appreciate it very much if you could change the mpbile phone for another model that works well, preferably return the full refund, and I would like to have this matter settled by 20 workdays.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am the one who bought a mobile phone from your online store in July 1. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the problems after using it for a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that the phone can not meet my requirements. In the first place, the battery needs recharging after 5 hours of use. In addition, the internal mernory(單詞拼寫錯誤,改爲memory card) is too small to store a song. Under these circumstances, I find it is(刪除) regretful to bring the trouble which I can not accept it.(該句的意思是，由於上面提到的兩個問題，使我感覺…)
I appreciate it very much if you could change the mpbile(單詞拼寫錯誤，改爲mobile) phone for another model that works well, preferably return the full refund(改爲 give me a full refund), and I would like to have this matter settled by 20 workdays.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
3分
微點評：考研小作文的字數要求是100詞，不要超過太多，考試時間很緊張，把過多的時間用在寫小作文上是不合理的。一定要正確理解形式賓語。小作文很重視作文的邏輯性，因此不要在邏輯方面出現大的問題，這篇作文中，由於你對形式賓語的理解偏差，導致這篇作文的邏輯出現問題，這會對分數產生很大影響。
5-7分
第一篇
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a collage sophomore tenant of Room 388 in Dorm-building 5. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about our dorm management.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is our poor management and bad living environment. In the first place, our dormitory is not time limited use of electricity，the lights are not turn off at midnight. In addition, strangers can go in and out freely without any inquiries and checks. Under these circumstances, I find it difficult to bring me comfortable and safe study life.
I appreciate it very much if you could tighten up the management, preferably You could make the rules and regulations that strictly executed and I would like to have this matter settled by the next month. Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a collage (刪除college)sophomore tenant of Room 388 in Dorm-building 5. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about our dorm management.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is our poor management and bad living environment. In the first place, our dormitory is not time limited use of electricity (改爲power rationing, 如果你不知道該如何表達宿舍晚上不限電，那麼你可以不寫這一句，直接說燈一直是開着的就可以了)，the lights are not turn off(,turn off 的主語是人，可改爲on) at midnight. In addition, strangers can go in and out freely without any inquiries and checks. Under these circumstances, I find it difficult to bring me (加a)comfortable and safe study(刪除) life.
I appreciate it very much if you could tighten up the management, preferably You could make the rules and regulations that (加 will be)strictly executed(加逗號) and I would like to have this matter settled by the next month. Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
5分
微點評：考研英語小作文的要求是100詞左右，考試時間非常緊，把過多的時間放在寫小作文上是不划算的。如果在寫作過程中，遇到自己不知該如何表達的句子，可以靈活一些，改爲更爲簡單的句子，不要冒險。
第二篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use it during a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery needs recharging after using mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a buyer of your online store and I bought a mobile phone last week. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about some problems after I use(改爲using) it during (for)a short period of time.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that it is unconvenience (改爲inconvenient)to use it and I cannot stand it. In the first place, the buttery (battery)needs recharging after using(加for) mere four hours, and I must take my charger with me when I go out for a while. In addition, the buttom(拼寫錯誤，導致我不清楚你要表達的意思) are too small that it is nearly difficult to type anything with them. Under these circumstances, I find it so hard to use it in my daily life.
I appreciate it very much if you could change my phone for another new one that works well, preferably receive a refund for it, and I would like to have this matter settled by you within a week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
6分
微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞要空一格。建議你寫完作文後再檢查一遍，如果僅僅是因爲拼寫錯誤，造成老師對整篇作文的理解出現偏差，最終影響分數是得不償失的。第三篇
Dear shop assistant,
I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the time you have taken to help me to look for my last wallet. If it had not been for your assistance in putting an inform and searching carefully every comers of the shop， I fear that I would have been lost several hundred yuan。
Every one agrees that it was you who were enthusiastic and friendly ,such as helping the elder customers to carry goods to their cars and the caser to find their lost things. Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear shop assistant,
I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the time you have taken to help me to look for my last(拼寫錯誤，lost) wallet. If it had not been for your assistance in putting an inform and searching carefully every comers (拼寫錯誤 corner)of the shop， I fear that I would have been lost (have been lost 是迷路的意思，丟錢是have been losing )several hundred(加s) yuan.
Every one agrees that it was you who were (形容某人的品質時，用一般現在時，改爲are)enthusiastic and friendly ,such as helping the elder customers to carry goods to their cars and the caser(拼寫錯誤) to find their lost things. Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming
6分
微點評：英語中的句號是。建議你寫完作文後再仔細的檢查一遍，這樣可以避免很多不必要的小錯誤，例如單詞拼寫。另外，注意lose這個詞的多重意思。
第四篇
Dear Sir,
I am a customer of your store. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about a box of pen that I bought it from yours.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the quality of the pens is bad. In the first place，I found there is less two pens when I opened the box. In addition，a pen was broken and it didn’t work. Under these circumstances， I find it very to your store.
I appreciate it very much if you could give me there pens，preferably replace the whole box，and I would like to have this matter settled by one day.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely，
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir,
I am a customer of your store. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about a box of pen that I bought it(刪除)from yours.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the quality of the pens is bad(刪除). In the first place，I found there is less two pens when I opened the box(不用there be 句型，可改爲I found the box lacked of 2 pens when I opened it). In addition，a pen was broken and it didn’t work. Under these circumstances， I find it very to your store.
I appreciate it very much if you could give me there(改爲the extra) pens，preferably replace the whole box，and I would like to have this matter settled by(因爲後面加的是具體時間，因此這裏改爲in) one day.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely，
Li Ming
5分
微點評：考研小作文的字數要求是100詞，不要超過太多，考試時間很緊張，把過多的時間用在寫小作文上是不合理的。小作文字數已經很少了，因此儘量要避免出現整句錯誤。
第五篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a graduate from Peking University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about accommodation.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is my roommate's inconsiderate behavior. In the first place, his friends are constantly visiting him. In addition, he regularly holds noisy parties. Under these circumstances, I find it inconvenient tome to take a rest in dormitory.
I appreciate it very much if you could find a single room for me，preferably not in the same building but as near to the college campus as possible, and I would like to have this matter settled by the next semester.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a graduate from Peking University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about accommodation.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is my roommate's inconsiderate behavior. In the first place, his friends are constantly visiting him(改爲visit him constantly) addition, he regularly holds noisy parties. Under these circumstances, I find it inconvenient to(改爲for) me to take a rest in dormitory.
I appreciate it very much if you could find a single room for me，preferably not in the same building but as near to the college campus as possible, and I would like to have this matter settled by the next semester.
Thank you for your consideration. I look(改爲am looking) forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
Li Ming
7分
微點評：這篇小作文基本沒問題，但是對於固定的句式一定要背牢，而且要保持時態的一致。
8-10分
第一篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a loyal customer of your company for years. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the microwave oven bought in your ship-flag shop last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the poor quality of commodity and service. In the first place，the chief switch didn’t work after I used it once, which I make sure the electric circuit must be burnt down. In addition，promising to replace a new one, though, neither service office nor repair team ever contacted me. Under these circumstances， I find it quite annoyed to cook dishes during meal time.
I appreciate it very much if you could repair the broken part, preferably change a quality conformance one, and I would like to have this matter settled by the end of this week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a loyal customer of your company for years. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the microwave oven bought in your ship-flag shop last week.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is the poor quality of commodity and service. In the first place，the chief switch didn’t work after I used it once, which I make(改爲am) sure the electric circuit must be burnt down. In addition，promising to replace a new one, though, neither service office nor repair team ever contacted me. Under these circumstances,I find it quite annoyed to cook dishes during meal time.
I appreciate it very much if you could repair the broken part, preferably change a quality conformance one, and I would like to have this matter settled by the end of this week.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming
9分
微點評：作文寫的很好，再注意一下小的細節。
第二篇
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a freshman of this college. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the service rendered in our flat apartments.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that there is still lacking necessary amenities for our daliy life. In the first place, just taking a warm shower still seems to be impossible as the weather gets colder than before. In addition, even scarcely can hot drinking water be provided continously. Under the circumstances, I find it dismal to go on with everything in the following day and night.
I appreciate it very much if you could pay prompt attention to the problems, preferably solve all of them as soon as possible, and I would like to have this matter settled by this winter around the corner.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
修改意見：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a freshman of this college. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the service rendered in our flat apartments.
The reason for my dissatisfaction is that there is still lacking necessary amenities for our daliy(拼寫錯誤，改爲daily) life. In the first place, just taking a warm shower still seems to be impossible as the weather gets colder than before. In addition, even scarcely can hot drinking water be provided continously(拼寫錯誤，改爲continuously). Under the circumstances, I find it dismal to go on with everything in the following day and night.
I appreciate it very much if you could pay prompt attention to the problems, preferably solve all of them as soon as possible, and I would like to have this matter settled by this winter around the corner.
Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
8分
微點評：考研小作文的字數要求是100詞，不要超過太多，考試時間很緊張，把過多的時間用在寫小作文上是不合理的。作文寫的不錯，但要再細心一點，儘量避免單詞拼寫錯誤。
