考研英語寫作小作文批改範文：求職信（二）

0-4分　　

第一篇

Dear Sir or Madam ,

I just read an advertisement in internet about recruitment information. I would like to apply for a position as (加a)Chinese teacher .

I understand what should be instruction study of children (不能理解你的意思) proficiency of(改爲proficient) skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirement. I am a recent graduate of Beijing University with a graduate degree in Depatment of Chinese Launguage and Literature(這裏填專業名稱) addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as(serve as 後面加職位名稱) senior middle school. .

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely，
Li Ming

4分

微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞要空一格。你需要提高英語的表達能力，另外，你對模版也不熟悉，建議你多看一些英語作文，熟悉一下這類作文的寫作思路。

第二篇

Dear sir or madam,

I am writting(拼寫錯誤，改爲writing) this letter(刪除) to apply for a position of(改爲as) secretary.

I am a student of Beijing University. I will graduate from Business English major in June use of my major, I have been studying English all the time. Now I could comunication(改爲communicate)with foreigner fluently. Also I was past(改爲passed) the test for English Majors-Brand eight. Moreover, I had past(改爲passed) national computer test brand three before I enter(加ed) university. I can skilled(改爲skillfully) operate the majority of office software(加s).

Please give me a(改爲an) interview. Connect me with number 123456.I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

2分

微點評：英語基礎比較薄弱，還是建議你多背模版，另外，你的應聘職位最好能與你的專業和工作經歷相關。

第三篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I just read an advertisement in Guang Ming Daily about a software engineer(表述不清，按照你的表達就成了關於一個軟件工程師的廣告). I would like to apply for a(改爲this) position as I am good at programming and like it(刪除).

I understand to be an excellent software engineer needed much programming experience(改爲one needs much programming experience in order to be an excellent software engineer). My programming skills(去掉s), as described in the enclosed resume, are(改爲is) well suited to your software engineer position. I am a recent graduate of undergraduate(這裏要填大學) with a bachelor degree in engineer(改爲engineering). In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as(加an) engineer at Dong Fang Computer Company where(改爲which) designs program for software application.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Your prompt attention to my application would be highly appreciated.

Yours sincerely,
Zhang Wei

4分

微點評：要注意控制字數，考研的時候超過20個詞扣0.5分，超過50詞只給1分辛苦分。你的表達能力急需提高！另外，建議你再複習一下定語從句的知識。

5-7分

第一篇

Dear sir,(s大寫)

I just read an advertisement in the newspaper about the recruitment information. I would like to apply for a position as a software engineer.

I am a recent graduate of Northwest University with a doctor degree in Computer Science. I understand how to be a successful software engineer. My professional skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirement. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as an assistant software engineer at Northwest University for two months.

I would be happy to meet you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thansfor(改爲Thank you for) your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

7分

微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞空一格。你的作文寫的很不錯，就是要再細心一點。

第二篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I just read an advertisement in yesterday's China Daily about the recruitment of your corporation. I would like to apply for a position as a business manager.

I understand that you are longing for highly-qualified(改爲high-qualified) individuals who process excellent skills, teamwork spirit and rich experience and I feel that I am competent to meet your requirement. My professional skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suit to your expectation. I am a recent graduate of Sun Yet-sen University with a bachorlor's(改爲bachelor) degree in Business Administration. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as a staff assistant at the China telecom, where my practical skills were rapidly cultivated and quickly developed.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

7分

微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞空一格。要注意控制字數，考研的時候超過20個詞扣0.5分，超過50詞只給1分辛苦分。作文基本沒有什麼問題。

第三篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the position of business manager you posted on the newspaper yesterday.

To briefly introduce myself, my name is liMing, a graduate student from XX (這裏最好填具體的名詞，不要用xx代替)University majoring in business management, and expect graduation this June. The main reason(加s) for my confidence in this position both lies(改爲lie) in excellence of academic records and my impressive internship experience in the relevant industry as manager assistant. And my interactive personal skills and teamwork spirits seem appropriate to your advertisement.

I would be grateful if you could grant me an interview at your earliest convenience, and here is my cellphone xxx.(cell phone，號碼不要用xx代替)

Sincerely yours,
LiMing

xx/xx/xxxx(刪除)

7分

微點評：作文寫得很不錯 ，但是要注意標點符號的使用，兩句話之間要麼有連詞，要麼就改成句號，不能“一逗到底”，另外要注意書信的寫作格式。

第四篇

Dear Sir or Madam ,

I just read an advertisement in newspaper about music company(改爲your company). I would like to apply for a position as a singer.

I understand your company need(加s) a singer who has lots of exceperiences(拼寫錯誤，改爲experience) excellent skills(去掉s),as described in the enclosed resume, are(改爲is) well suited to your company. I am a recent graduate of Luo Yang normal university with a master degree in music. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as a singer at the stage(這裏最好填一個公司) where I had acquired practical technique(改爲experience).

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours ，
Li Ming

6分

微點評：要注意控制字數，考研的時候超過20個詞扣0.5分，超過50詞只給1分辛苦分。你要考慮到這封信是給要應聘的公司看的，因此第一句就不能說是看到音樂公司的信息，而是你們公司的信息。另外，要注意主謂一致的問題。

第五篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I just read an advertisement on the website of your company about the(加vacant) position of a(改爲an) accountant.

I understand the business of your company very well. My accounting skills(去掉s),as described in the enclosed resume, are(改爲is) well suited to your post(刪除) requirement. I am a recent graduate of Peking University with a management(改爲bachelor) degree in accounting. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses.(改爲逗號) I served as a accounting assistant at Zhalatu Management Consulting Firm where their business is similar to yours.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

加Yours sincerely,
加你的名字

5分

微點評：要注意書信的寫作格式，另外，還要注意主謂一致等細節問題。

8-10分

第一篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I just read an advertisement on the internet about the recruitment information. I would like to apply for a position as a physician.

I am a graduate of Peking University with a doctor degree in clinical medicine. I know which(改爲what) qualities a doctor should possess and I think I have these qualifications. My specialized skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirement. I have the confidence to be one of you.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
加名字

8分

微點評：作文寫的很好，但是一定要注意書信的寫作格式。另外，which一定要有選項。

第二篇

Dear Sir or Madam ,

I just read an advertisement in a magazine about job searching (加逗號)I would like to apply for a position as a sales manager.

I understand efficient marketing strategy communication skills(去掉s), as described in the enclosed resume, are(改爲is) well suited to your conditions in the advertisement .I am a recent graduate of Beijing University with a bachelor degree in marketing management. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as a salesman at ABC Company during my spare time.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely，
Li Ming

8分

微點評：作文寫得很不錯，但是要明確一點，要靈活使用模版，因爲skill 前面填的是具體的某項能力，所有要用單數，如果是填一個形容詞，例如professional，那麼就可以用複數了。

第三篇

Dear Mr. Yu,

I just read an advertisement in(改爲on) job-hunting website about recruiting some positions of(改爲for) your company. I would like to apply for a position as a software engineer.

I understand it is essential to master a solid foundation for(改爲of) computer science. My professional skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirement. I am a recent graduate of the(刪除) Peking University with a bachelor degree in Computer Science. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as an intern at a company where I have attained a fair knowledge and experience.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

8分

微點評：要注意控制字數，考研的時候超過20個詞扣0.5分，超過50詞只給1分辛苦分。標點符號與後面的單詞空一格。你的作文沒有大問題，但是你對介詞的使用不太清楚，這說明你的語感還不太好，因此，建議你多讀一些英文書籍。

第四篇

Dear Sir or Madam,

I just read an advertisement in the Medical BBS about the employment information. I would like to apply for a position as an assistant doctor.

I understand how to be an eligible assistant. My profession(改爲professional) skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirements. I am a recent graduate of Fudan University with a doctor degree in Medical Imaging. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as an intern at the affiliated hospital of our university where I mastered the basic medical operation.

I will be happy to meet with you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
LiMing

9分

微點評：要注意控制字數，考研的時候超過20個詞扣0.5分，超過50詞只給1分辛苦分。標點符號與後面的單詞空一格。注意詞性的選擇。

第五篇

Dear sir, (s要大寫)

I just read an advertisement in the newspaper about the recruitment information. I would like to apply for a position as a software engineer.

I am a recent graduate of Northwest University with a doctor degree in Computer Science. I understand how to be a successful software engineer professional skills, as described in the enclosed resume, are well suited to your requirement. In addition to having taken a broad range of courses, I served as an assistant software engineer at Northwest University for two months.

I would be happy to meet you at your convenience and discuss how my education and experience match. Thanks for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

9分

微點評：標點符號與後面的單詞要空一個格，作文基本沒有問題，繼續保持！