盤點世界八大最糟糕工作：嗅他人腋窩居首

Fancy being an armpit sniffer, Mosquito bite victim, sewer diver or marine snot collector? No? We didn't think so

你是不是經常抱怨自己的工作無聊？不過且慢，如果你知道世界上有哪些工作最差，你可能會感激上蒼。英國《鏡報》就爲我們盤點了一番全球最糟糕工作。

Talk about a boring job... Thomas Curwen watches paint dry for a living.

The Dulux scientist from Twyford, Berks, 34, checks how the colour of matt and emulsion changes over time on walls and under microscopes.

談到有什麼工作無聊透頂，34歲的托馬斯•柯溫的工作應該算一個。他成天盯着剛刷的油漆變幹，作爲多樂士專業塗料的一名科學家，他要檢查牆上或者顯微鏡下的油漆顏色如何隨時間變化。

If you think that sounds a bit dry, just wait. We’ve found there a many worse ways to earn a living around the world...

如果覺得這夠無聊，那還是等等再下結論，我們在全球找到了許多槽糕的工作，先來一睹爲快。

Armpit sniffer

嗅腋窩

Getting a whiff of BO may sound like the pits, but it’s all in a day’s work for Peta Jones.

聞些狐臭的味道聽起來不那麼爽，不過，佩塔•瓊斯成天就幹這種活。

She works as a deodorant producer for Unilever in Australia, developing the Dove, Lynx and Impulse brands.

A big part of her job is sniffing strangers’ armpits to check her products’ work.

瓊斯是澳大利亞聯合利華集團的除臭劑生產者，多芬（Dove）凌仕（Lynx）和Impulse等就是聯合利華旗下品牌。她工作的主要內容就是嗅陌生人的腋窩，以檢驗產品功效。

Peta said: “It was strange at first, but in a week it was fine.”

“剛開始這很奇怪，但幹一個星期就好了。”佩塔說。Crime-scene cleaners

清理犯罪現場

CSI may be a morbid hit with TV viewers, but there is nothing entertaining about cleaning up a crime scene after a death.

犯罪現場調查對電視觀衆來說不亞於打雞血，不過，死人後的犯罪現場清理就真的讓人唯恐避之不及了。

Married couple Mike Nestved and Carmen Velazquez, above, clear up after bodies in Orlando, Florida – the worst being one in a hot caravan. Carmen said: “There are some things you can’t just Febreze.”

已婚夫婦如邁克•奈斯特韋茲和卡門•貝拉斯克斯的工作就是清理佛羅里達州奧蘭多市的死人後現場，最糟糕的情況是在炙熱的拖車中。Crocodile trainer

鱷魚訓練員

We’ve all worked with snappy colleagues, but putting your head in a crocodile’s mouth should attract danger money.

我們或許都跟敏捷的同事一起工作過，但把頭放在鱷魚的嘴裏感覺怎麼樣？

Yet trainers at Pattaya Crocodile Farm, Thailand, get just £4 per day for their work. Another stunt involves kissing a giant croc on its nose. Ian Maclean, who filmed the show during a trip to the zoo, said: “One of the performers had his head crushed while locked in the jaws of a croc.”

這並非驚悚大片，而是謀生計的一種手段。在泰國芭堤雅鱷魚農場，這樣的工作薪水只有每天4英鎊（約42元人民幣）。此外，訓練員還有一項“絕技”，就是親吻一隻大鱷魚的脖子。Mosquito bite victim

主動讓蚊子咬

Helge Zieler has a job that really sucks – letting himself get bitten by mosquitoes. Working in the Brazilian rainforest, he offered himself as bait so he could study the bugs’ behaviour.

黑爾格•齊勒的工作那才叫糟糕——請蚊子來咬自己。他在巴西熱帶雨林工作，爲了研究蚊子的行爲，他不惜“獻身”，自己化身誘餌吸引蚊子。

But despite once suffering a debilitating bout of malaria, he says: “The beauty of the rainforest far outweighs the thousands of mosquito bites.”

雖然齊勒曾因此而遭到了瘧疾的苦楚，但他依然興奮地表示：“對我來說，幾千只蚊子的叮咬與熱帶雨林的美麗相比遠遠不算什麼。”Pet food taster

品嚐寵物食品

This is not just pet food – this is the ultimate in Marks & Spencer dog and cat cuisine.

Every dish in the store’s luxury range has been tested by Simon Allison, above.

瑪莎百貨的每一道貓和狗的“菜餚”都已由西蒙•艾利森品嚐過。

He said: “I love my job – but draw the line at swallowing.”

他說：“我熱愛我的工作，但底線是吞嚥。”

Simon chews gum after sittings to stop, er, dog breath.

休息的時候，西蒙咀嚼着口香糖，呃，太難吃了。Sewer diver

下水道潛水員

We all think our job stinks from time to time, but it really does for Julio Cu Camara.

He swims through sewers in Mexico City to clear blockages and repair pipes by hand.

我們常常抱怨我們的工作糟透了，但朱利奧•卡馬拉的工作才叫爛。他每天在墨西哥城的下水道“暢遊”數小時，用雙手清理管道堵塞。

Julio, below, has notched up 1,400 dives in 30 years – each one lasting up to six hours in 7,500 miles of tunnels.

He has to wear a 6.4 stone helmet and suit to protect him from the human, chemical and animal waste – and its stench.

朱利奧30年裏共“潛水”1400次，每次都持續6個小時，在下水道遊走的長度7500英里。爲了不讓自己被人爲的、化學的和動物的“廢料”及其散發的惡臭所污染，他不得不戴着頭盔。

Julio has found horses, pigs, guns and “cigarette butts to car parts, furn­iture and fridges. You ask how it got there.”

But of one thing he is certain: “The worst thing of all to find is a human.”

朱利奧找到過馬屍,死豬，槍支，菸頭，汽車零部件，傢俱和電冰箱。但他說，最倒黴的是在下水道找到的是人。Whale snot collector

收集鯨魚的鼻涕

“There she blows” may be the traditional cry for whale spotters but marine biologist Karina Acevedo-Whitehouse gives it a new meaning.

She flies a remote-controlled helicopter fitted with a culture dish through the billows of mucus whales eject from their blowhole, above, then analyses it for viruses and bacteria.

Karina, from the Zoological Society of London, says: “It can be quite dangerous.”

很多看到鯨魚的人一般會驚叫：“它在那噴氣”。不過，倫敦動物學會的海洋生物學家卡琳娜•阿塞韋多•懷特豪斯給了它新的含義。

她操縱着一架裝載有培養皿的遙控直升機，在鯨魚從其噴水孔噴出的翻滾的粘液中穿梭蒐集樣本，然後用來分析病毒和細菌。

卡琳娜說：“這有時候相當危險。”

看着草生長

If watching paint dry sounds too exhilarating, you could take a leaf out of Helen Southall’s book.

如果說看着油漆幹似乎還有點意思，你可以扯下海倫•索撒爾的一頁書看看。

The grass expert works at British Seed Houses in Lincoln, where her daily duties include counting out and planting 400 seed samples.

Later, she goes through them blade by blade to monitor growth.

這位草評專家在林肯大學的英國種子會社（British Seed Houses）工作，她的日常職責包括計數和種植400顆種子樣本。然後，她開始一片一片葉子監控草地生長。

Helen said: “People think that it’s strange when I tell them my job is to watch grass grow.

“But it’s fascinating. I wouldn’t do anything else. It’s so rewarding to see a stretch of perfect grass.”

“當我告訴別人我的工作是盯着草地生長時，他們都認爲這不可思議。但這項工作很有魅力，我無需做其他事情。看着一片完美草坪慢慢伸展很值得。”海倫說。