世界上關於分娩的十大奇聞趣事(上)
As children, many of us are fed fantastical tales of gigantic birds airlifting human infants to mask the icky, sex-induced reality of childbirth.
小時候的我們總能聽到巨鳥帶來嬰孩的奇趣故事，這種故事是用來遮掩分娩過程的"噁心"以及避免對孩子麼產生性誘導的。But truth is stranger than fiction. And sometimes, babies are brought into the world under circumstances that would make delivery by stork sound believable by comparison.
然而真實故事卻比虛構的故事更加神奇。相較於以下離奇的分娩經歷，鸛鳥聲有時能催生嬰兒反而顯得更爲可信些。10.'Flash' Gordon
10.閃電戈登
In the United States, the Fourth of July holiday is usually capped off by a fireworks display that rivals the splendor of stars in the night sky.
7月4日是美國的獨立日，這天一般有煙花表演壓軸，絢麗的煙火在夜空中綻放，與星爭妍。But in 2013, Mother Nature decided to inject her own brand of pizazz to Independence Day festivities in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with the aid of her favorite sparkler: lightning.
然而2013年的這天，大自然母親決定在新墨西哥州的阿爾伯克基市用自己最喜愛的煙火棒——閃電，爲獨立紀念日助興。That night, expectant mother Kendra Villanueva and her boyfriend, Ian Gordon, were outside when the weather turned an ominous shade of thunderous.
那晚，天氣轉陰、雷鳴陣陣時，孕婦肯德拉·維拉努埃瓦和她男朋友伊恩·戈登恰好外出上街。
Before the couple had a chance to make their way to safety, a tendril of lighting leaped out from the sky and struck them as they passed under a tree.
這對情侶尚未成功找到安全的地方藏身，天空就劈出了一道閃電，恰巧擊中了正經過一棵樹下的他們。A violent jolt of electricity ran a circuitous route through from Gordon's ear and Villanueva's body before exiting through her thumb. Both were zapped unconscious.
一陣強烈的電流穿過戈登的耳朵，流經維拉努埃瓦的身體，最後從她的大拇指流出。兩人隨即昏迷。Although Villanueva had weeks to go before her oven bun was due, doctors were forced to perform an emergency Cesarean in hopes of saving her lightning-kissed baby. Amazingly, the child survived.
儘管離維拉努埃瓦的預產期還差幾周，但是爲了挽救她被閃電"親吻"過的寶寶，醫生不得已爲其做了緊急剖腹產手術。孩子奇蹟般地活了下來。Adorably nicknamed "Flash Gordon," young Kimberly Gordon has been heralded as a "medical marvel" by specialists. But her high-voltage ordeal didn't leave her unscathed.
醫生救活了小金柏莉·戈登，她還有個可愛的小名叫閃電·戈登，專家們稱之爲"醫學奇蹟"。但高壓電還是對她造成了一定的傷害。A one-year-old Kimberly struggled to digest food and was incapable of crawling or sitting up. And given the rarity of her circumstances, it's impossible to map an expected developmental trajectory.
一歲的金柏莉消化食物有困難，也不能爬行或者端坐。由於她的這些症狀十分罕見，所以很難預料她會發育得如何。On a much lighter note, Baby Flash's hair purportedly has a bizarre propensity to stand up straight as if in a perpetual state of static cling.
更值得一提的是，據說閃電寶寶的頭髮異於常人，總是地直直豎立起來，就像永遠有靜電一樣。nst The Wind
9.頂風而生There's never really an opportune moment for a tornado to touch down in your neck of the woods.
無論何時，龍捲風降臨到你的地盤都不是好事。But having one assail your hospital during the birth of a child seems particularly untimely.
但如果它在你生產時降臨到你所在的醫院，就更加不合時宜了。Oklahoman Shayla Taylor found herself in that precise predicament when a twister bore down on her hospital as she tried to pass a bundle of joy through her birth canal.
俄克拉荷馬州的謝拉·泰勒就恰恰陷入了這種困局，就在她費盡力氣要把寶寶生出來時，龍捲風襲擊了她所在的醫院。Unfortunately for Taylor, the arrival of her family's latest addition, much like that of natural disaster outside, couldn't wait.
不幸的是，她們家的這位新成員就像外面的龍捲風一樣，已經迫不及待要來到這個世界。While her husband and four-year-old son took cover on a lower floor of the hospital, she was carted to a windowless room where the delivery could be completed.
泰勒的丈夫和她四歲的兒子躲在醫院較低的樓層，而她自己則被推到一間沒有窗子的密閉房間進行分娩。
Relocating failed to halt the twister's furious onslaught. The tornado buffeted the building with winds blowing at 300 kilometers (200 mi) per hour, tearing the outside wall right off of Taylor's operating room.
可惜即便醫院如此安排，也未能躲過龍捲風的猛烈侵襲。龍捲風以每小時300千米（200英里）的速度持續衝擊着大樓，不費吹灰之力就撕裂了泰勒手術室的外牆。Hospital staff shielded her with blankets and a human cocoon of their own bodies as tiles and lighting fixtures collapsed overhead. The room was reduced to a sloppy medley of debris and heavy machinery.
房頂的瓷磚和燈具紛紛破裂墜下，醫務人員用毯子將泰勒裹住，用身體爲她築起了一道人體防護牆。手術室內，各種碎片與重型機器亂飛，一片狼藉。Taylor, still not yet done birthing her baby, had to be relocated to a nearby hospital after being lugged downstairs on a flat board.
泰勒卻因尚未分娩，不得不在被推下樓後立馬轉移到附近的醫院。Even with a meteorological nightmare threatening to upend her delivery, Shayla gave birth to a bouncing baby boy via C-section.
儘管這場龍捲風把泰勒的生產搞得一團糟，但她還是通過剖腹產生出了一個活蹦亂跳的小男孩。The parents named him Braeden. After seeing the way nurses defied death to protect her and her child, Taylor, herself an aspiring nurse, expressed a deepened commitment to helping others.
泰勒夫婦給這個寶貝取名爲布里登。泰勒自己就是一名有理想的護士，生產時她看到醫院的護士們無懼死亡、捨命保護她和孩子的情景，深深被打動，於是更加堅定了自己要無私助人的信念。However, that selfless service might have to take place elsewhere, as her brush with nature's fury has since made Taylor rethink living in Tornado Alley.
不過泰勒也許要換個地方無私奉獻了，此次與"自然之怒"擦身而過的經歷，使得她不得不重新考慮還不要繼續留在"龍捲風走廊"生活了。l By Forest Fire
8.森林火災In June 2015, Amber Pangborn reportedly left her Orville, California, home to visit a friend at a casino.
據說2015年6月時,安伯·潘伯恩離開了她在加利福尼亞州奧維爾的家前往一家賭場赴約。But it was after leaving the betting house that the 35-year-old was forced to make a major gamble.
但真正的豪賭卻是在這個35歲的女人離開賭場後才悄然而至。While trying to drive to her parents' house, the nine months of baby inside her decided to pay the world a visit.
就在她開車前往父母家途中，腹中九個月大的孩子已經決定要造訪這個世界了。Trying to avoid a roadside delivery, she cut through a forest to save time. Instead Pangborn got lost and ran out of gas.
她爲了不在路上分娩，決定穿過一片森林抄近道，然而卻不幸迷了路，更糟的是，她車上的燃油也已經耗盡。Stranded, she was forced to give birth in the backseat of a car (where babies are typically made, not delivered), at which point things purportedly got wild.
受困於此，她不得不在車的後座上把孩子生出來（而車後座一般用來造人而不是分娩，你懂的）。自此開始事情似乎就開始走瘋狂路線了。
According to Pangborn, to stave off the exhaustion, she dosed herself with meth.
據潘伯恩說，爲了避免自己虛脫無力，她吸食了一些冰毒。That narcotic pick-me-up—along with three apples, a can of soda, and a bit of water—would be all that she had to tough it out in the wilderness with her newborn daughter for three days.
而要在荒野中頑強生存三天，潘伯恩和女兒能依靠的卻只有冰毒這種致幻毒品、三個蘋果、一罐蘇打水以及一些水。During that interval, she claims to have fended off placenta-hungry mosquitoes and bees, getting stung repeatedly in the process.
在此期間，她還需驅趕被胎盤吸引而來的衆多蚊蟲，免不得被叮咬了多次。Desperation eventually took over, and Pangborn tried to start a signal fire in hopes of flagging attention.
當絕望的氣息把她們重重包圍時，潘伯恩試着生了一堆火以期能夠引起人們哪怕一絲一毫的注意。That signal quickly ballooned into a quarter-acre blaze, which—while unintended—did the job.
這團火焰迅速蔓延至四分之一英畝的範圍，以出乎意料的方式完成了它的使命。The US Forest Service sprang into action and stumbled upon the marooned mother-daughter pair. A helicopter was sent in to rescue them.
美國林務署迅速採取了行動，並且在滅火的過程中偶然發現了這對孤獨而絕望的母女。最終她們被一架直升飛機成功地救走了。Pangborn's bid to brave the wilderness with her daughter Marissa in tow made for compelling news, but Child Protective Services officials weren't exactly thrilled to hear her tale of post-childbirth drug use and accidental forest destruction.
潘伯恩與她的女兒瑪麗莎在荒野中"敢於直面慘淡人生"的故事簡直就是引人注目的新聞事件，被各大媒體爭相報道。但是潘伯恩分娩之後吸食毒品，破壞森林，兒童保護服務部工作人員對此十分不滿。Concerned about the circumstances of her delivery, CPS took Marissa into protective custody. Pangborn has since sought to get her back.
鑑於當時的特殊情況，兒保部決定對瑪麗莎施行保護性監禁，潘伯恩自此又踏上了一條漫漫"奪女"路。
