你不知道的提高EQ的方法
Now let’s take a look at some ways in which we can increase the levels of our own emotional intelligence so that employers will be fighting over us! [laughter]
The first step is to label our own feelings rather than labelling situations or other people. We should say things like “I feel angry” instead of “this is a ridiculous situation”。
Secondly, it is very important to know the difference between a thought and a feeling. In terms of language we express thoughts by saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if” but for feelings we say “I feel” and then a feeling word, an adjective happy, angry, frustrated。
Next - and this is a crucial point - we should take more responsibility for our feelings. Instead of saying “you are making me jealous” we ought to say “I feel jealous”。
After this we need to learn how to use our feelings to help us make decisions. Ask yourselves “How will I feel if I do this?” or “How will I feel if I don’t?”
小編：提高情商就要以“自我爲中心”。聽起來很怪異是不是？其實不然，如果你連自己的感情、思想都弄不清楚的話，又怎麼能做出正確的決定呢？又如何規劃自己的未來呢？所以，從現在開始，重視自己，從自身出發。從說“這裏太糟了”改成“我感覺很糟”，這樣你就會想方設法地讓自己感覺不糟，感覺好起來，事情就會有改變。如果你一味地認爲“別人”“別處”不好的話，你永遠也不會有改變的動力。
Another important issue here is respect. We have to respect the feelings of others. We should ask ourselves questions like “How will this person feel if I do this?”
And of course it isn’t enough to just respect the feelings of others. We have to show others that we care. We do this through empathy and understanding. And we should accept people’s feelings. They are just as valid as our own。
Then we come to energy. We need to turn anger into energy and use it to take action - productive action, that is。
小編：“以自我爲中心”必然會產生的問題就是“尊重”！你要尊重別人的“自我意識”，不能把自己的想法強加到別人身上，每個人都有權利有自己的想法。
Finally, after getting used to understanding and analysing our emotions, we should practise getting a positive value from them. Ask yourselves “How do I feel and what could help me feel better?” and don’t forget those around you - “how do you feel?” and “what would help you feel better?”
To sum up I am going to leave you with two pieces of advice. Don’t criticize, advise, control or lecture others. Just listen with empathy and in a non-judgemental way。
And what about people who invalidate you? Easy - avoid them. And when it isn’t possible to avoid them altogether, try to spend less time with them and don’t let them get to you。
Follow this advice and I am sure that you will soon increase your EQ level. You will feel happier and more positive and hopefully this will rub off on those around you。
小編：不要試圖去批評、勸諫、控制、指導別人。正如你不會輕易地被別人的話所改變一樣，別人也不會因爲你的三言兩語就改頭換面。你要做的只是傾聽，不要帶着任何的有色眼鏡去評價任何事。如果“我不犯人，別人偏要犯我”怎麼辦？無視Ta，如果不能完全無視的話，那就儘量少和這些人接觸。
