愛情課堂：傷感情的十大習慣

Could you be harming your relationship without realising it? Here are ten habits that could lead to a break-up lest you keep them in check.
有沒有可能在你沒有意識到的情況下，你已經在傷害你們的感情？下面是可能導致分手的10大習慣，來看看你有麼：

1. Giving him the silent treatment
沉默以對

While it might feel good to freeze him out and let him stew, not speaking to him will only have a detrimental effect on your relationship in the long run. He’ll get frustrated by your lack of communication and you’ll never get your point across if you’re not actually speaking to him. Successful relationships are based good communication, so instead of sulking and giving him the cold shoulder, try talking through your problems and finding the solution together.
冷落他，讓他好好反省反省，這樣做或許能解你心頭之恨，但從長遠看，這種做法只會使關係陷入僵局。你的緘默的確挫傷他的銳氣，但如果你不說出來，他怎麼會知道你在想什麼。成功的感情以良好的溝通爲基礎，所以不要把事情悶在心裏、冷眼相向，把問題擺出來，共同解決。

2. Nag, nag nagging
嘮叨，各種嘮叨

Yes, he always forgets to take the rubbish and it really gets your goat, but nagging him isn’t going to make things any better. Men tune out the sound of women’s voices when they start to irritate them so it becomes a vicious cycle – you ask him to do something, he zones out, you get frustrated and ask him again and again and infinitum causing a build up of resentment and anger on both sides.
他總是忘記帶走垃圾，這的確很煩人，但是嘮叨不是上策。男人被激怒的時候，會對女人的婆婆媽媽置若罔聞，這樣，惡性循環就開始了——你要求他做什麼，他不聽，你生氣並反覆說，結果呢，雙方都滿腹怨氣，甚至開始仇視對方。

Instead of demanding he do things in a nagging tone, try a more positive approach. Give him a cuddle, smile, look him in the eye and ask if he’d mind taking the rubbish out later. You’re much more likely to get what you want with a warm approach and he won’t resent you for asking.
用聰明的辦法代替煩人的嘮叨。開口前擁抱一下、給個笑臉或用期待地眼光注視他，然後再問他是否可以順便把垃圾帶走。這種以柔克剛的方法更有利於你達到目的，而他也會樂意效勞。

3. Avoiding conflict
迴避衝突

Never fighting or failing to bring up issues that are bothering you is a relationship time bomb. When you’re concerned about something it won’t just go away if you ignore it – just like a bump in the carpet it will pop up somewhere else. Remember, it’s normal and healthy for couples to disagree from time to time. As long as you argue constructively and are able to compromise and move ahead, it’s actually good for your relationship.
迴避令你鬧心的問題，就等於埋下了一枚定時炸彈。當你爲某事憂慮時，不去想它不等於它不存在——就像地毯下的硬物，不是在這兒鼓出來，就是在那兒鼓出來。記住，兩人之間偶爾意見不合很正常，而且在某種程度上還有益關係和睦。只要你持積極態度去討論問題，並能得饒人處且饒人，實際上，分歧促進了關係和諧。

4. Playing the drama queen
小題大做

Losing your temper, crying or storming out every time something doesn’t go your way will soon wear thin with your man. Instead of throwing a strop and flouncing out, sit down and talk through your problems. It takes far less energy than slamming doors and throwing tantrums.
一不順心就火冒三丈、大呼小叫、要麼奪門而出，他不會忍你太久。坐下來談談，看看問題的癥結在哪裏，不要動不動就龍顏大怒。摔門、發脾氣是體力活兒，還是說話來得輕鬆。

5. Being possessive and clingy
佔有慾強，太黏人

During the honeymoon period it’s nice to do everything together, but insisting he spends every waking hour with you and you alone is never a good idea. He’ll start to feel smothered. Everyone – even married couples need some time alone and socializing with friends who aren’t you is also important. Encourage him to go out with his friends or stay home and watch the game solo from time to time. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
蜜月期的兩個人同出同入人人羨慕，但是如果要求他時時刻刻與你形影不離那就不好了。這樣會讓他產生窒息感。每個人都需要時間獨處（已婚夫妻更是如此），而且需要與外面的朋友交往。適時地鼓勵他出去找找朋友，或者把他單獨留在家看節目。別忘了，距離產生美。6. Being sarcastic
說話刻薄

While you can pass the odd sarcastic quip off as a joke, there is often a deep seated hostility towards your partner at play behind the persistent use of sarcasm to put your partner down. If you want your relationship to flourish it’s time to look inwards and work out why you’re behaving this way before it’s too late. You might find your partner starts to push you away or avoids spending time with you out of fear and anger – being on the receiving end of sarcasm can be especially wearing.
當你把冷嘲熱諷當笑話說時，說明你內心深處對他充滿敵意，希望通過不斷的挖苦打擊他。如果你希望關係融洽，在無法挽回之前趕快自省，挖出作祟的惡魔。你或許發現對方已開始迴避你，或出於恐懼和惱怒不願和你在一起——被諷刺挖苦的滋味可不好受啊！

7. Drinking too much
貪杯

A nice relaxing glass of wine after a hard day’s work is one thing, but if one or both of you find yourselves drinking until you’re legless most nights, it’s a clear signal something’s not right between you and that you’re using alcohol to mask the shortcomings of the relationship. Unnecessary flare-ups are inevitable when there’s too much booze involved. Nobody wants to date a drunk so sober up or seek professional help before it’s too late to salvage things.
緊張的工作之餘來一杯輕鬆一下是一回事，但如果你或你倆差不多夜夜喝得找不着北，那毫不疑問，你倆之間出問題了，你們在用酒精掩蓋關係中的裂痕。一旦豪飲成了家常便飯，發生爭執肯定在所難免了。誰願意跟酒鬼在一起，所以別再貪杯，或者向專家求助，否則你將抱撼終生。

8. Overspending
消費無節制

Money can be a bone of contention whether you’re being supported by your partner or are the main breadwinner in the relationship. Exceeding your weekly budget on a regular basis shows a lack of respect for your partner while showing off by flashing your cash when he doesn’t have as much to spend can easily cause resentment. So watch your wallet.
不論夫妻二人中誰掙錢養家，錢總是爭吵的根源。每週總是超預算開銷，會讓他覺得沒有得到應有的尊重，而在他掙不到很多錢時你卻大把花錢擺闊，你可能會遭到他的嫌惡。所以穿衣吃飯看家當。

9. Checking up on him
監視他

Snooping his Facebook or email account, checking his phone for illicit texts and constantly worrying that his female friends are more than just platonic will drive you seriously nuts. You just can’t live your life in a state of constant fear that he’s hooking up with someone else.
擔心他與女性朋友有越軌行爲，不是偷窺他的Facebook、電子郵箱帳號，就是查看他的電話，檢查是否有不正常信息，無休止的擔心會讓你發瘋。你不能因擔心他會勾搭別人而生活在持續的恐懼中。

If he’s cheated on you in the past you need to ask yourself if you truly trust him to be faithful or end things. If you’re just insecure talk to him about how you feel and he should be able to reassure you. Snooping is not the way to solve this problem.
如果他有前科，那你就該好好想想，他是否真的忠實可靠，是否誠心悔改。如果你不放心，那就告訴他你的感受，讓他向你保證。監視解決不了問題。

10. Trying to make him jealous
讓他忌妒

If you were content in your relationship, flirting with other guys to make your man jealous wouldn’t even cross your mind. So if you find yourself making eyes at the bartender just to make him sit up and notice you, ask yourself why? If it’s because he’s acting non-committal or not paying you enough attention tell him how you feel. Flirting sets a bad precedent – if you can that means he can too. And that’s no use to either of you.
如果你對感情狀況還滿意，那與男人調情讓他吃醋就實在是個餿主意。如果你和酒吧服務員在他眼前眉來眼去，只會讓他提防你，爲什麼要這樣做呢？若是因爲他缺乏責任感或對你不夠關注，直接把想法告訴他。你調情只能爲他起到表率作用——你能，他也能。這對雙方都不好。