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有關內涵英語笑話短文閱讀

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總是有些時候莫名其妙的不開心,心情不佳的時候就會辦什麼都不在狀態,這時多看點英語笑話尤其是內涵英語笑話就可以讓你多多開心起來了。本站小編整理了有關內涵英語笑話短文,歡迎閱讀!

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  有關內涵英語笑話短文:Ghange of Plan

Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.

But Frank had heard that the army would nct accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.

On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.

As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth.

The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,

"Sure endugh, you don’t. You’re rejected. "

Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"

The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles. "

The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it around thoroughly,

"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"

Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"

Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "

臨時改變主意

法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令,兩人都不想去服兵役。

但法蘭克曾經聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人,因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。

在體格檢查那天,他們兩人排在同一排隊伍,可是有一個大塊頭、滿身毛髮而且臭味難當的卡車司機插在他們中間。

當法蘭克排到隊伍的前頭時,他對檢查的班長說他沒有牙齒,

那名士官要他張開嘴巴,接着用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈後說道:

“沒錯,你沒牙齒,不用當兵!”

接着輪到卡車司機,士官說:“你有什麼問題嗎?”

卡車司機說道:“我患有嚴重的痔瘡。”

班長要那個傢伙彎下身去,用他的食指在肛門轉了一整圈後說道:

“沒錯,你的情形很嚴重,不合格!”

再來輪到佛烈德,班長又問:“那你的問題是什麼?”

凝視着他的食指,佛烈德答道:“沒什麼問題,班長,我一點問題也沒有。”

  有關內涵英語笑話短文:How to be like a gentleman

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

迪克年齡七歲,他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天,媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩,自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。

孩子們玩了個把小時,在四點半的時候,姨媽領着迪克走進了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,並對他說:“喏,迪克,給你刀子,把這塊蛋糕一切爲二,給你妹妹一塊。不過,你得記住要做得像一個紳士那樣。”

迪克問:“像一個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”

他姨媽馬上回答說:“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”

迪克說了一聲“噢”。他對此想了一會,然後,他把蛋糕拿給妹妹,並對她說:“凱瑟琳,你來把這塊蛋糕一切爲二吧。”

  有關內涵英語笑話短文:I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜裏

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家裏。他媽媽問,“發生了什麼事?”

“一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。

“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

“他走到哪裏我都能認出他,”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裏呢。”


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