英語笑話小短文加翻譯欣賞
偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。下面小編整理了英語笑話小短文加翻譯，希望大家喜歡!
There was this guy who went into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said,“Bartender, are you a betting man?” The bartender replied, "Certainly! I'm ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'11 bet you $50 that I can lick my right eye.” The bartender thought about this a while and finally agreed to the bet. The man reached up and pulled out his glass right eye and licked it. The bartender groaned and begrudgingly gave the man his $50 telling him to leave his bar.
一個男子進了酒吧間，他走到酒吧男招待面前說道“嘿，男招待，你是個愛打賭的人嗎?”男招待回答“沒錯，我永遠都是個賭徒!”那個人又說:“我和你賭50美元，我可以舔到自己的右眼。”男招待想了想最後同意打這個賭。那個男子摘下了他那隻玻璃做的右眼，然後舔了一下。男招待哀嘆一聲，極不情願地付給那人50美元，然後讓他離開了酒吧間。
A week or so later, the same man appeared in the bar. He went up to the bar- tender and said, "Bartender, are you still a betting man?" The bartender replied, "Certainly! I told you I' m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my left eye.” Well, the bartender thought he had him on this one! There was no way that he had TWO glass eyes so the bartender agreed. The man reached up to his mouth, pulled out his dentures and clicked them on his left eye. The bartender moaned and paid the man his $100 telling him to get out of his bar.
大約一週後，那個男人再次來到酒吧間，又問那個男招待:“夥計，你是個愛打賭的人嗎?”男招待回答:“是的，我告訴過你的，我永遠是個賭徒!”男人接着說:“這次我出100美元，賭我能咬到自己的左眼。”男招待想了想。他認爲那個人的兩隻眼睛不可能都是玻璃的，於是他同意和那個人打這個賭。只見那人把手放進嘴裏，然後掏出一幅假牙，用假牙碰了一下自己的左眼。男招待一邊抱怨着一邊掏出100美元交給了那個人，並把他轟出了酒吧。
A week or so later, the same man ventured into the bar again. He went up to the bartender and said，"Bartender, are you still a betting man? "The bartender said, although with a little caution this time, "Certainly! I told you I’m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "Give me a shot of whiskey.” The bartender poured the man a shot and he drank it down. Slamming the glass on the bar he said, "I’11 bet you $500 that you can spin me around on this bar stool and I can piss in that glass right where it lays and not miss a drop.”Well，the bartender' s eyes lit up. Here was one time that he was certain that he would win!" Agreed! ” he cried. Coming out from around the bar, he grabbed onto the man's bar stool and spun it as hard as he could.
一個多星期後，那個人第三次來到酒吧間，他走到男招待跟前說:“男招待，你還是不是個賭徒了?”這一次男招待顯得有些猶豫，但他還是答道:“千真萬確!我告訴過你，我永遠是個賭徒。”那個男人說:“給我一杯威士忌。”男招待給他倒了一杯，那人一飲而盡。然後砰地一聲把酒杯放到桌上，說道:“我坐在這個凳子上，你用力推椅子讓我旋轉起來，然後我往酒杯裏撒尿，並保證決不會濺到外面。如果我輸了，我給你500美元。”“行!”，男招待頓時眼睛一亮，他認爲這次自己贏定了。於是喊道“同意!”。他從吧檯後面走出來，用手抓住那個人坐的椅子，然後使出渾身的力量使勁一推。
Well，the man just let loose and piss flew everyplace! Not so much as one drop even came close to the glass and the bartender was soaked. When he was done，the bartender was laughing and laughing and holding out his hand. The man pulled out his wallet and gave him his $500. But the bar- tender was puzzled and as he was wiping off his face, he asked the man, "Why did you bet me $500 that you could piss in that shot glass on the bar when you had to have known there wasn’t any possible way to do it?”
那個人把尿濺的哪都是。因爲男招待離的太近，所以全身都被澆溼了。等那人的椅子停下之後，男招待仰天大笑，一邊笑一邊伸出手。那個人拿出錢包從裏面掏出500美元交給了男招待。然而男招待卻感到迷惑不解，他一邊用手絹擦着臉一邊問:“明明知道那是不可能的事情你爲什麼還要賭500美元呢?”
The man just smiled and told him, "You may have won $500 off me but I bet that
guy over in the corner $10 , 000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would just laugh”
那個人笑了笑說:“你是燕了500美元，但是我和那邊那個人打了10000美元的賭，我說當我尿你一身的時候你不但不會生氣，反而還會衝着我大笑。”
英語笑話小短文加翻譯鑑賞The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad to see you; we've got your place all ready.” Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.
教皇死後升人了天堂。聖彼得向他問候:“見到你很高興，我們一切都已經爲您安排好了。然後聖彼得把教皇帶到街上領他去看新房子。一棟有五間房子的小巧舒適的別墅。聖彼得建議教皇住下來，然後再去四處看看其他的居民。
The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45一room mansion, with built一in sauna and weight room, a beautiful library, and spacious，airy rooms.
教皇在這裏不僅遇到了許多老朋友，而且還結交了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律師請教皇吃飯，等到了他家，教皇一下子驚呆了，那是一棟有45間房的大廈，裏面還有桑拿間、健身房、漂亮的圖書館、寬敞明亮的房間。
After lunch，the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cot while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion.
午飯後，教皇在街上又遇到了聖彼得，於是問道:“我可不是抱怨啊!爲什麼只給我一個小別墅而那個律師卻有那麼豪華的大廈?”
St. Peter replied，Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”
聖彼得回答說:“你看，我們這裏有很多位教皇，而律師卻只有他一人。”
英語笑話小短文加翻譯賞析Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:
有一天晚上，我針對一個自己討厭的人所做的事情簡直是妙極了:
I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.
我看到他正和一個情人坐在飯館裏的一個不被人注意的角落裏。我走到領班跟前對他說:爲了慶祝我的朋友和妻子結婚十週年，我想讓他給那兩個人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。
If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.
在像柏裏甘思這樣的地方，當男女服務員給你的桌子上送蛋糕時他們介一邊唱歌一邊敲打着水壺。你可以想象接下來會發生什麼。
Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.
四個男服務員和三個女服務員手裏端着插有蠟燭的蛋糕，一邊走一邊唱“凱茹樂，馬克，祝你們週年快樂。”
Talk about someone looking for the exits!
現在正有人忙着找出去的門呢!
