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有關爆笑英語笑話短文欣賞

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當一個人笑的時候,大腦神經會放鬆一會兒,從而使大腦有更多的休息時間。爲了自己的身體健康,平時大家可以多看看英語笑話讓自己放鬆一下。本文是有關爆笑英語笑話短文,希望對大家有幫助!

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  有關爆笑英語笑話短文:我要出去

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

在凌晨兩點,酒吧店主鎖了店門,回家睡覺。他剛躺下幾分鐘,這時電話響了。“你早上幾點營業?”他聽到一位明顯已醉醺醺的男子的聲音。

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"

店主非常氣憤,砰地一聲掛上電話又上牀去睡。幾分鐘後又有一個電話,他聽到還是那個聲音問同樣的問題。“聽着,”店主嚷道,“不要問我什麼時候營業,因爲我不會讓你這種人進----”

"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out“

我不是想進來,”那人打斷他的話,“我要出去。”

  有關爆笑英語笑話短文:母親的腳

To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.

爲避免我們的狗,萊希,糾纏來訪的客人,我母親常在愛犬喜歡呆的地方,即餐桌下面,摩暱它。一天,一個建築商來談居室裝潢工程。

As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.

在這人和我母親坐在餐桌邊談居室的修茸時,我母親滑脫了她的鞋子,開始不經意地用腳摩蹭起萊希來。

My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.

談話進行了半個小時的時候,我母親突然感到很不好意思起來,因爲這時她聽到了萊希在前門外的犬吠聲。

  有關爆笑英語笑話短文:猶如幾個時辰

As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time.

作爲一個小學的樂隊指揮,爲了確保學生投入足夠的時間練習,我要求他們上交由他們父母簽字的練習單。

I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.

可是有一次,一位家長的簽字把我逗樂了。練習單上寫着:“練習了17分鐘,但猶如幾個時辰。”

  有關爆笑英語笑話短文:聰明狗

A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.

一位養狗人宣稱:要是給了愛犬錢,它便會到賣報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來個演示,並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一個小時過去了,仍不見它帶報紙回來。

"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.

一位養狗人宣稱:要是給了愛犬錢,它便會到賣報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來個演示,並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一個小時過去了,仍不見它帶報紙回來。

"five dollars.

“五元。”

"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.

"這就是了。你給它五元錢時,它就去看電影。


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