英語幽默笑話集錦

很多英語國家在漫長的歷史中，廣泛流傳着很多經典的幽默小笑話。今天，小編爲大家準備了幾則經典的英語笑話，給大家來分享一下，希望大家開心一笑，一起來看看吧!

英語幽默笑話：海盜的財富

"Ten steps from the porch(門廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(緊抱，扣緊) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鵑) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

英語幽默笑話：委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"　　 Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”

英語幽默笑話：兩塊蛋糕

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

兩塊蛋糕

湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

英語幽默笑話：幸運的母親

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

一位年輕的母親認爲，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麪包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麪包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麪包加黃油，或者麪包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?