經典科幻文學:《基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第21章6

Certainly, watching it now on videotape, he just looked like some guy in costume and make-up, standing in front of a set that wouldn’t hold up too well if you leant against it.

真的，現在從帶子上看，他其實就是穿着戲服化了個妝，站在堆不怎麼樣的佈景跟前，而且那佈景還不怎麼穩當，稍微靠上去恐怕都會出問題。

She sat staring at the screen with her face cradled in her hands, and shaking her head in slow bewilderment.

崔茜卡呆坐着緊盯着屏幕，雙手支着臉，大惑不解似的搖着腦袋。

This was awful.

太可怕了。

Not only was this bit awful but she knew what was coming next. It was the bit where the Leader asked if she was hungry after the flight, and would she perhaps like to come and have something to eat? They could discuss things over a little dinner.

可怕的不僅僅是這一段，她很清楚接下來還有什麼。接下來，首領問她飛了那麼久會不會有點餓，或許她願意一起簡單吃點東西，他們可以一面進餐一面討論。

She could remember what she was thinking at this point.

她還記得當時是怎麼想的！

Alien food.

外星食物！

How was she going to deal with it?

她該怎麼應付？

Would she actually have to eat it? Would she have access to some sort of paper napkin she could spit stuff out into? Wouldn’t there be all sorts of differential immunity problems?

真的吃下去嗎？他們有沒有餐巾紙之類的，讓她可以把東西吐出來？會不會出現各式各樣的免疫問題？

It turned out to be hamburgers.

最後她發現自己要吃的是漢堡包。

Not only did it turn out to be hamburgers, but the hamburgers it turned out to be were very clearly and obviously McDonald’s hamburgers which had been reheated in a microwave. It wasn’t just the look of them. It wasn’t just the smell. It was the polystyrene clamshell packages they came in which had ‘McDonald’s’ printed all over them.

她不單發現食物竟然是漢堡包，這些漢堡包還顯然是在微波爐裏重新加熱過的麥當勞。崔茜卡之所有認定它們是麥當勞，不僅僅是因爲它們的模樣，也不僅僅根據它們的氣味，關鍵還在於它們的聚苯乙烯盒子，上面印滿了“麥當勞”幾個大字。

‘Eat! Enjoy!’ said the Leader. ‘Nothing is too good for our honoured guest!’

“吃吧！好好享受！”首領說，“爲了我們尊敬的客人，再好的食物也不爲過！”

This was in his private apartment. Tricia had looked around it in bewilderment that had bordered on fear but had nevertheless got it all on videotape.

飯桌設在他的房間裏，崔茜卡打量着周圍的環境，眼神及其迷茫，幾乎接近恐懼。但她還是把它們全拍了下來。

The apartment had a waterbed in it. And a Midi hi-fi. And one of those tall electrically illuminated glass things which sit on table tops and appear to have large globules of sperm floating about in them. The walls were covered in velvet.

房間裏有一張水牀，一組數碼音響。還有一個那種桌面上常見的玻璃擺設，高高的，用電照明，看起來裏頭好像漂着許許多多大個精子，牆上蓋滿了天鵝絨。