每個小姑娘都得是公主嗎?

Even though women continue to advance in American society, many little girls still get stuck in a world of fairytale princesses and frilly pink dresses. That does not sit well with journalist Peggy Orenstein, who mused about her young daughter’s obsession with Disney princesses and predilection for the color pink in a New York Times Magazine essay.

在美國社會，雖然婦女們繼續取得進步，可是小姑娘們仍然很容易迷戀於童話裏的公主和粉紅百褶裙。新聞記者奧仁斯坦不喜歡這種現狀，她在紐約時報雜誌一篇文章裏探討了她小女兒對迪斯尼童話中公主的迷戀和對粉紅色的偏愛。

She reflects on the overwhelming emphasis on this stereotyped ideal for girls in a new book, "Cinderella Ate My Daughter." Orenstein is at war with what she describes as our hyper-feminized girlie-girl consumer culture.

她在一本名爲《灰姑娘吃掉了我女兒》的新書中，探討人們爲什麼那麼強調女孩兒這種程式化了的幻想。奧仁斯坦在跟她所說的過度女性化的嬌嬌女女孩消費文化開戰。

"What is marketed to girls is this idea of pink and pretty. It fuses the idea of appearance with innocence, and then presents the interest in appearance as being evidence of their innocence," she says. "But what’s happening is that girls are emphasizing the way they look more and more and more. So, we’re talking about makeup and provocative dresses and all of that kind of thing."

她說：“向女孩推銷的是這個粉紅和可愛的觀念，一種天真無邪的樣子。於是女孩兒們就去追求一種證明她們天真的外貌。結果是，女孩們越來越看重自己的相貌。所以，我們就在談論化妝和具有挑逗性的服飾，諸如此類的東西。”

Many parents don’t see anything wrong with their little girls playing Cinderella, putting on make-up and dressing up as cute princesses, but Orenstein wonders about the long-term impact of encouraging that behavior.

許多家長不認爲他們的小姑娘扮演灰姑娘、化妝以及把自己裝扮成漂亮的公主有什麼不好。但奧仁斯坦想知道鼓勵這種行爲會有什麼樣的長期影響。

"I think parenting is such a present tense thing. When your daughter is 3 months old, you can't imagine having a 6-year old. And when you have a 6-year old, you don’t want to imagine having a 13-year old. You don’t tend to step back and see the context and the arc. I wanted to provide that for parents so they can make their choices more intentionally and really think about whether indulging them in this when they’re three was going to be healthy for them when they were 13."

她說：“我認爲，做父母是一種‘當下’的事。當女兒3個月大時，你不能想像養一個6歲孩子的情景。孩子6歲時，你不會去想怎樣去養一個13歲孩子。你不大可能後退一步來設想一個孩子的整個成長過程。我要給家長們的就是這個，讓他們更有意識地做出選擇，去考慮任由3歲的孩子迷戀這些東西，到他們13歲的時候，會不會是健康的。”

After speaking to marketers, social historians, parents, psychologists and doctors, Orenstein found there was cause to worry.

奧仁斯坦跟市場營銷商、社會歷史學家、家長、心理學家和醫生談話。她覺得有理由擔心。"The American Psychological Association put out a report a couple of years ago that said that an early over-emphasis on appearance and play-sexiness can create a vulnerability in girls to the sorts of issues that we as parents worry about such as negative body image, eating disorders, depression and poor sexual choices," she says. "The American Academy of Pediatrics just put out a warning to its member physicians to be more on guard for signs of eating disorders in children under 12 because they’ve been on the rise and under diagnosed."

她說：“美國心理學會兩、三年前發表一份報告說，早期過份強調相貌和性感容易使女孩在我們家長擔心的那種事情上受到傷害，比如對身體的負面看法，飲食紊亂，憂鬱和性行爲方面糟糕的選擇。美國兒科學會剛剛對會員醫生髮出一個警告，要他們注意12歲以下孩子飲食紊亂的現象，因爲這種情況有上升趨勢，但卻很少被診斷出來。”

When girls define themselves by how they appear to others rather than by how they feel internally, she says, it sets them up for disappointment.

奧仁斯坦指出，當女孩們以她們在別人眼中相貌如何而不是以她們內心如何感受來定義自己的時候，她們會因爲失望而不安。

"We see 15-year-old girls looking in the mirror with increasing doubt, with increasing anxiety and saying, ‘Am I the fairest of them all?’ and thinking ‘No, I am not, but maybe I will be if I buy this product or that product,’ and never feeling satisfied with who they are."

她說：“我們看到15歲的女孩照鏡子，帶着越來越多的懷疑和越來越多的焦慮說，我是最漂亮的嗎？不，我不是，可是如果我買這個產品或者那個產品，我就可能是最漂亮的。她們永遠對自己不滿意。”

Orenstein says parents have the power to raise healthy, self-confident daughters. They can provide positive alternatives that counter the influence of the media to buy certain products and look a certain way.

奧仁斯坦認爲，家長們是有能力培養出健康、自信的女兒的。他們能夠提供正面的東西，來反制鼓動人們買某些產品和裝扮成某種樣子的媒體影響。

"It’s not good enough just to say 'no' to the things coming at you. You have to find other things that are out there that you can say 'yes' to, that are fun and joyfully connect your daughter to being a girl, that can broaden and enhance and create options for your daughter and how she defines herself as a girl."

她說：“向衝着你來的東西說‘不’是不夠的。你還得找到你可以說‘是’的東西來，即那些有趣而且能把你的女兒愉快地跟做女孩聯繫起來的東西，讓她有更多更好的選擇。”

Orenstein includes a list of resources she says parents can say 'yes' to on her website. They include children’s books, like "Pippi Longstocking," in which girls stand up for themselves, movies with strong young heroines like Disney's "Mulan," and suggestions for activities like yoga to help girls develop a positive body image.

佩吉.奧仁斯坦在她的網站上刊登了一個她認爲父母可以說“是”的資源清單，其中包括兒童書籍，比如《皮皮長襪》，書中描寫女孩爲自己抗爭的故事。清單裏還有描寫年輕女英雄的電影，比如迪斯尼公司的《木蘭》。奧仁斯坦還建議女孩參加瑜伽之類的活動，塑造健康的身體形像。

With all the resources available today, Orenstein says, parents can raise confident young women in spite of the seductive power of the girlie girl culture.

她說，儘管有那種嬌嬌女女孩文化的誘惑，但憑藉今天能利用的這些資源，家長們能夠培養出有信心的年輕婦女。