宗教影響下的剛強 一箇中國棄嬰的童話

As stories go, the tale of how a desperately ill, nameless baby from China turned into Bella Xin KaLare Strickland of West Monroe, Louisiana, is an extraordinary one. Three short years ago, a friend and I found the newborn, swaddled in several layers of clothing and abandoned in a Shanghai alleyway. Since then, her story has morphed from communist tragedy to Christian fairy tale: one minute an orphan screaming in a cold, dark street; three years later a stroppy toddler, living a charmed life in sunny Louisiana.

本文將講述一個離奇的故事，隨着故事發展，你會看到一個來自中國、疾病纏身的無名棄嬰，是怎樣變成美國路易斯安那州西門羅的貝拉•新•克萊爾•斯特里克蘭(Bella Xin KaLare Strickland)的。四年前，我和一個朋友在上海一條弄堂裏發現一個裹着層層衣服的棄嬰。從那天起，她的故事便由社會主義制度下的悲劇，轉變成基督教童話：近四年前，她還是個在寒冷漆黑的窄巷裏啼哭的孤兒；如今，她已是在陽光明媚的路易斯安那州享受美麗人生的嬌蠻幼童。

Baby Bella made her debut in this magazine in 2011, under a different name, “Baby Donuts”, given for the Dunkin’ Donuts outlet where her birth parents chose to leave her in December 2010. She was about six weeks old. More than 110,000 children born in China have been adopted by families overseas in the past two decades. But Bella has the dubious distinction of being the only Chinese baby yet abandoned at the feet of an FT journalist.

小寶寶貝拉首次出現在這本期刊上是在2011年，不過那會兒她的名字是“甜甜圈寶寶”(Baby Donuts)，因爲她的父母於2010年12月將她留在上海一家Dunkin’ Donuts門店外面。那時她才6周大。20年來，被海外家庭領養的出生在中國的兒童超過11萬。但貝拉有點兒特別——她是迄今唯一被遺棄在英國《金融時報》記者腳下的中國嬰兒。

A friend and I found her one night, only steps from one of Shanghai’s top hotels. She was lying on top of two plastic bags that bulged with new baby clothes, tins of infant formula, packs of newborn nappies and scrubbed-clean baby bottles: the only love note a mother could dare to leave, for a child she would never know.

一天夜裏，我和朋友在距一家頂級酒店僅幾步之遙的地方發現了貝拉。當時她身子底下墊着兩個塑料袋，裏面裝着新生兒的衣服、幾罐配方奶粉、幾包尿布和洗刷乾淨的奶瓶——這些是一位母親對自己將永遠別離的孩子，唯一能留下的愛意。

The fact that her parents chose to leave her at a place frequented by foreigners may mean they wanted her to end up living overseas. Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they wanted a healthy baby, if they were only going to have one child. (China has since slightly relaxed its one-child policy but babies are still being abandoned.) Bella has a number of disabilities, including a congenital heart defect, blindness in both eyes from cataracts and a partially webbed foot. Perhaps her parents simply couldn’t cope.

她的父母選擇將她留在外國人常出沒之處，這或許意味着他們希望她最終能去海外生活。或許他們並無此意，而只是想要個健康的寶寶——假如只能生一個的話（中國如今已輕度放寬獨生子女政策，但仍有遺棄嬰兒的現象）。貝拉有很多疾病，包括先天性心臟病、雙目白內障失明和部分蹼足。也許她的父母只是應付不了醫藥費。

In lots of ways, theirs was an entirely rational decision: in China, many families have only minimal health insurance, and the cost of all the surgery Baby Donuts needed (along with the bribes paid to doctors) could have bankrupted even a family of substantial means. Abandoning her meant that she would become a ward of the state, which would at least pay to keep her alive. China says it has about 700,000 “orphans” (meaning children whose parents can’t care for them). About 100,000 live in state institutions but most of the rest collect a government subsidy.

從很多方面看，他們的決定完全合理：在中國，很多家庭的醫療保險非常低，而面對甜甜圈寶寶所需的全部手術費用（包括給醫生的紅包），即便殷實的家庭也可能破產。拋棄她意味着她的監護人變成了國家，國家至少能承擔她活下去的費用。中國官方表示約有70萬名“孤兒”（無父母照顧的孩子）。其中約有10萬名孤兒被國家機構收養，剩下大部分孩子獲得政府補貼。

What seems less rational is why LaKasha and Jeremy Strickland, living on a shoestring in a town 12,000km away, felt able, not to mention willing, to do for Baby Donuts what her birth family could not. Even their US adoption agency, through which they first heard about Bella, warned them off, saying the baby had “too many red flags”. When they started the adoption process in July 2012, the couple had just $100 in savings. Jeremy had been medically retired from the US Air Force for chronic headaches and LaKasha had just left her job to become more involved with her church. Adopting a child with serious medical needs wasn’t the obvious next move.

拉卡莎•斯特里克蘭(LaKasha Strickland)和傑里米•斯特里克蘭(Jeremy Strickland)是一對在1.2萬公里之外的美國小鎮上過着清貧生活的夫婦。相較之下，爲什麼這對美國夫婦會覺得自己“能夠”（更不用說“願意”了）爲甜甜圈寶寶做到連她親生父母都辦不到的事，就顯得不那麼“理性”了。連他們的美國領養機構（他們通過該機構頭一次聽說貝拉）都警告他們這個寶寶有“太多危險信號”。當這對夫婦於2012年7月開始辦理領養手續時，他們的積蓄僅有100美元。傑里米因慢性頭疼已從美國空軍(US Air Force)病退，拉卡莎則剛剛辭職，把更多時間投身於教會工作。領養一個重病纏身的小孩顯然不是他們下一步該做的。

But the Stricklands are clear about why they did it: among other things, because God wanted them to. “God put adoption in our hearts,” LaKasha says. “God stirred our hearts and we started searching.” And they didn’t just make a decision, they mounted a crusade. It can cost upwards of $30,000 to adopt a special needs child from China, including paperwork, translations and travel costs. Raising such a child, even in the promised land of Obamacare, will doubtless cost considerably more (in spite of Jeremy’s excellent medical insurance as an ex-serviceman).

但斯特里克蘭夫婦清楚自己爲什麼要這樣做：除了種種其他原因，還因爲上帝希望他們這樣做。“主將領養的念頭放到我們心裏。”拉卡莎說，“主激起我們的渴望，於是我們開始尋覓這樣的機會。”他們不只是做出決定，他們發起了一場運動。從中國領養一個有特殊需求的孩子，費用最多可達3萬美元，包括文書工作、翻譯和旅行費用。而撫養這樣一個孩子，哪怕在“奧巴馬醫改”(Obamacare)的應許之地，費用無疑也相當可觀，儘管傑里米作爲退伍軍人享有非常好的醫療保險。

Undeterred, the Stricklands launched a “Bring Baby Bella to America” campaign in October 2012, enlisting family, friends, members of their church and even the Bible to fundraise. They set up a tent in the parking lot of the local Walmart to sell T-shirts emblazoned with these words from James 1:27: “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father is to care for orphans in their troubles.” They sold 260 plates of “chicken cheesy spaghetti” at a church lunch, raising $2,500. They even stood at traffic lights with a bucket and a poster of Bella, collecting dollar bills.

斯特里克蘭夫婦並未被困難嚇退，2012年10月他們發起了“帶貝拉寶寶到美國”的活動，不但請來家人、朋友、教友幫忙募捐，甚至連《聖經》都用上了。他們在當地沃爾瑪(Walmart)的停車場支起帳篷售賣T恤，衣服上印着《雅各書》第一章第27節：“在神我們的父面前，那清潔沒有玷污的虔誠，就是看顧在患難中的孤兒寡婦。”他們在教堂午餐會上賣出了260盤“雞肉奶酪意大利麪”，籌集到2500美元。他們甚至拎着桶子，舉着貝拉的海報站在紅綠燈下籌集善款。

LaKasha says she was shocked when Jeremy came up with the idea of panhandling to raise money for Bella. But their experience at the traffic lights yielded both cash and encouragement, as she shares on her blog “Adoption from God’s Pocket”. “It was so hard at first, feeling silly and prideful,” she writes. “But after a little wait a few cars started pulling in and asking about her and putting dollars in our bucket. We got to share about her and about God’s love and plan for her life,” she says, adding: “This was ministry!! He has given us a way to talk to strangers about Him and what He has done and will continue to do. There’s nothing easier to talk about than a child in need.”

拉卡莎說，當傑里米提出爲貝拉向路人討錢籌款的想法時，她感到很震驚。但這段紅綠燈下的募捐經歷讓他們收穫了資金幫助和人們的鼓勵，拉卡莎在自己的博文《從上帝的口袋領養寶寶》(Adoption from God’s Pocket)中寫道：“開頭很難，我既自豪，又覺得這樣很蠢。但過了片刻後，漸漸有車子停下來，開始詢問她的事情，然後往我們的桶裏投錢。我們分享着貝拉的故事，還有上帝之愛，以及對貝拉的生活規劃。”她總結道：“這便是傳教！上帝爲我們提供了與陌生人談論他、他所做過且仍將繼續做的事的方式。還有什麼話題比談論一個有需要的孩子更容易聊呢。”

And then there was the miracle of the $3,110 bank deposit: the Stricklands have never figured out exactly where it came from, but they do know that $3,110 was exactly what they needed to pay for the “home study” by social workers, which is a prerequisite of any adoption from China. And there was the former sister-in-law who borrowed $4,000 to help them, and the bank employee who cleared the way, unexpectedly, for the Stricklands to refinance their home.

接着他們又奇蹟地收到了3110美元銀行匯款，斯特里克蘭夫婦至今沒猜出這筆錢的來源，但他們知道社工進行“家庭調查”的費用正是3110美元，該調查是從中國領養小孩的先決條件。他們曾經的一位姻親向人借了4000美元來幫助他們。斯特里克蘭夫婦去銀行辦理房屋再貸款時，一位銀行職員居然主動爲他們排除了障礙。

While they raised money, Bella was still living at the Shanghai orphanage under the name Jiang Xinqian. The Stricklands decided that her American name was to be Bella KaLare (pronounced “Claire”). “I talked to God a lot that day about if I was making the right choice,” LaKasha writes on her blog. “He showed me that her name was beauty and clarity and I knew he was happy with it: beauty, with her imperfections, and clarity, within her mind without delays.” Later on the Stricklands added “Xin” to honour her Chinese roots.

雖然他們籌到了資金，但貝拉仍在上海一家孤兒院以蔣新倩的名字生活着。斯特里克蘭夫婦給她起了個英文名——貝拉•克萊爾。“那天我對上帝說了很多，關於我選擇的名字是否正確。”拉卡莎在博客裏寫道，“他讓我知道，她的名字代表着美麗和清晰，我知道他很滿意這個名字：雖然她不完美，但她是美麗的，而清晰則代表她頭腦敏捷。”後來斯特里克蘭夫婦在貝拉的名字裏加了一個“新”字，以紀念她的中國血統。

Bella became a member of the family long before she got to Louisiana. On her second birthday (which she spent in the orphanage), the Stricklands posed for a family portrait, each clutching a donut, to symbolise their bond with the baby. Their Christmas photo that year shows LaKasha, Jeremy, their son Peyton and a framed portrait of Bella. LaKasha even dyed her hair black before they flew to Shanghai, so that Bella would not be too shocked at her appearance (in China nearly everyone’s hair is jet black, including septuagenarians).

早在貝拉到路易斯安那州以前，她就已經是這個家庭的一員了。她在孤兒院過2歲生日的當天，斯特里克蘭家照了張全家福，每人手裏都抓着個甜甜圈，象徵他們與甜甜圈寶寶的親情關係。那一年他們家的聖誕合影上有拉卡莎、傑里米、他們的兒子佩頓(Peyton)和一張貝拉的相片。拉卡莎甚至在他們飛往上海前把頭髮染成黑色，這樣貝拉就不會對她的樣子太過驚奇，在中國幾乎每個人的頭髮都是烏黑的，甚至包括七旬老人。

Of course, any parent who adopts from China has to demonstrate great commitment. The process is lengthy, costly and – when the vast majority of Chinese children available for adoption are disabled – requires a level of selflessness not many of us can muster. Mainlanders mostly refuse to adopt disabled children, and even overseas it is hard to find enough parents for the children who need them. Many non-Chinese who adopt special needs babies have strong religious beliefs and see these children as being especially worthy of Christian charity.

當然，所有從中國領養小孩的家長都必須展現極大的獻身精神。整個過程不但漫長、開銷大，而且由於可領養的中國兒童大多身有殘疾，他們所要付出的無私更是常人難以企及。中國內地人大多不願領養殘疾兒童，即便在海外也很難爲這些需要領養的孩子找到足夠的家長。相當多領養特殊需求孩子的外國人都有強烈的宗教信仰，他們認爲這些孩子尤爲值得基督教慈善事業的關懷。

In spite of limited financial means, stretched further by repeated adoptions, they remortgage homes, sell chicken cheesy spaghetti, T-shirts – anything to make the adoption happen.

儘管斯特里克蘭家財力有限，且隨着領養程序的進行愈加捉襟見肘，但爲完成這次領養他們拼盡了全力，他們將房產再抵押、賣雞肉芝士意大利麪、賣T恤……

I adopted my own two (healthy) Chinese daughters as infants in 2000 and 2002 using the money I had saved during a lifetime of working. But whether we beg, borrow or finance our adoptions from our trust fund, most adoptive parents go through the same agonising moment when an orphanage nanny hands us our child – and they shriek in outrage. Bella, then two-and-a-half years old, went one better: she tried to escape. The abject misery in her face at the handover to the Stricklands in May 2013 is captured in a video LaKasha posted on YouTube entitled “Gotcha Day/Bella Xin KaLare.” The fairy-tale ending got off to a very rough start.

我在2000年和2002年分別領養了兩個健康的中國女嬰，花掉了我這輩子的工作積蓄。但不管我們是通過乞討、借債，還是從信託基金支款來付領養費用，大多數養父母都會經歷同樣的痛苦時刻——當孤兒院工作人員將孩子的手遞給我們時，他們憤怒地尖叫。斯特里克蘭夫婦見到貝拉時她已經兩歲半了，她乾的更絕，她掙扎着要逃跑。2013年5月貝拉被移交給斯特里克蘭夫婦，拉卡莎拍下了她當時悽慘絕望的表情，並把視頻傳到YouTube上，標題爲“領養日/貝拉•新•克萊爾”。這個童話般的結局開始得並不順利。

But by the time I joined the family 48 hours later, Bella had already begun to blossom. I remembered a beautiful newborn in a blanket: what I saw two years later was a determined, winsome and mischievous toddler, tripping off on her little spindly legs – which looked like they hadn’t much experience of the world of walking – to explore her surroundings.

但在48小時後，等到我加入這個家庭時，貝拉已經活潑起來。我想起那個裹着層層衣服的美麗的新生兒，我在兩年前見到的寶寶如今已長成一個堅定、迷人和調皮的孩子，兩條小細腿磕磕絆絆地探索着新環境，就像她沒什麼走路經驗似的。

LaKasha, Jeremy and Peyton were all besotted with her already, pointing out the cataracts in her eyes and the webbing of her toes like other parents might brag about dimples, and inviting me to feel the prow-like protrusion of her ribcage left after her heart defect had its initial repair. And what about the prominent bruise in the middle of one cheek? “The orphanage said they weren’t sure how that happened,” says LaKasha. Orphanage staff had told the Stricklands that Bella was “very strong-willed” – perhaps heartening for an adoptive parent to hear, since strong will may be just what got her through that night in the alleyway, and the many illnesses of her infanthood.

拉卡莎、傑里米和佩頓都已迷上了她，他們指着她眼中的白內障、腳趾的蹼膜的樣子，就像別的家長在炫耀孩子的酒窩，他們還讓我摸她胸腔上初期心臟修復手術所留下的船首狀突起。孩子一邊臉頰中央有個明顯的傷痕。拉卡莎說：“孤兒院說他們不清楚這是怎麼弄得。”孤兒院員工告訴斯特里克蘭夫婦，貝拉“意志非常剛強”，或許這在養父母聽來會爲之一振，因爲也許她就是憑藉剛強的意志才挺過了弄堂裏的那一夜，以及她幼年時的許多疾病。

Later we took Bella to the Dunkin’ Donuts where our story began, in the company of my friend John Fearon, the British businessman who first heard her abandoned cries. Not surprisingly, she couldn’t have cared less (especially since the donut shop had closed). But we adults all spent a moment feeling the tragic miracle that is every Chinese adoption – and the pain of birth parents who cannot keep their child – before we set off to McDonald’s to feed Bella her first all-American French fries.

後來我們將貝拉帶到那家Dunkin’ Donuts——這個故事開始的地方，我的朋友約翰•費倫(John Fearon)也陪同在側，當初便是這位英國商人最先聽到了貝拉啼哭的聲音。不出所料，她完全沒反應（何況這家甜甜圈店已經關張了）。倒是我們這些成年人花了片刻時間去感受每個中國領養案所蘊含的悲劇式奇蹟，以及親生父母不能撫養骨肉的悲痛，然後我們一行人前往麥當勞(McDonald's)，喂貝拉吃了第一次美式炸薯條。

Bella is now “settling in beautifully” to her new life. “She is constantly competing with her brother. If he talks she talks louder. She is so smart: she loves to count and sing and say her prayers all by herself,” LaKasha says, adding that the night terrors of Bella’s first months at home are beginning to abate: “She has a lot of anger in that little body.”

現在貝拉已經“適應了她美好的”新生活。“她經常跟她哥哥比賽。如果他說話，她就說得更大聲。她非常聰明，她喜歡數數、唱歌，和獨立作祈禱。”拉卡莎還說，貝拉剛來頭幾個月常做惡夢，如今已逐漸減少了：“她小小的身體裏有太多憤怒。”

LaKasha hopes Bella’s birth parents may one day read these words, and know they can find their baby living happily in Louisiana. But unless and until they do, no one need worry about Baby Donuts. She’s just where she needs to be. Hallelujah.

拉卡莎希望貝拉的親生父母有一天能讀到這篇文章，知道他們的寶寶在路易斯安那州快樂地生活着。但即便他們沒看到這篇文字，也無需爲甜甜圈寶寶擔憂。她一切安好。哈利路亞。