謀殺你時間的6種網絡習慣(中英對照)

Living a Fantasy Life
沉浸式遊戲

While fantasy football might have little to do with the real world, it certainly takes real time to attend to your team. Not only do you have to watch all the games, but then you have to trade your players. You have to analyze your stats and plan accordingly, spending large amounts of time on the painstaking details so that you can win a pot of cash and the admiration of your friends.
儘管虛擬足球遊戲與現實世界或許沒有一點關係，但你無疑需要花時間去關注你的球隊。你不僅得觀看所有的比賽，而且還得買賣隊員。你必須分析統計數據並據此制定計劃。在這些細節上，你得花費大量心血，才能贏錢，才能讓朋友們崇拜你。

The Spree
看視頻

The great thing about a video web is that it has everything. The awful thing about a video web is that it has everything. I mean, you go looking for George Clooney `s Oscar acceptance speech and somehow you end up clicking on everyone of those "related video" until you`ve worked your way to the collected works of the fake Tom Cruise. With such a video web you never intend to spend that much time, but you end up "one more clip"-ing yourself to death.
視頻網站的優點就是無所不包，而視頻網站的缺點亦是如此。比如說，你想看喬治•克魯尼發表奧斯卡獲獎感言的視頻，結果不知不覺中，你就點擊觀看了所有的相關視頻，一直看到模仿湯姆•克魯斯的視頻集。你從來就沒有打算花那麼多時間瀏覽這個視頻網站，但最終你都會剋制不住地繼續觀看下一個視頻，直至精疲力竭。

The SNS Fugue
神遊社交網站

Oh, SNS, we couldn`t do anything without you. But I`m not talking about your normal visits during work hours. There is a different, darker SNS that comes out late at night, when you start searching for all of your ex-girlfriends and clicking to see if any of them have changed their last names recently. This is the dark side, and it will attack you and make you feel like a Saturday on the couch with scattered tissues lying around your nearly lifeless body.
噢，社交網站, 我們不能沒有你。在工作時間，正常訪問社交網站並不是我要談論的內容。我想要說的是它們的陰暗面。在深夜裏，你開始在上面搜尋自己的歷任女友，想知道她們當中有沒有人已經結婚時，陰暗面便降臨了。它會狠狠的打擊你，那感覺很糟：就如同你在某個週六萎靡不振地蜷在沙發上，周圍散亂地堆着餐巾紙一樣。

The Online Shopping Cage
“網購陷阱”

Look, there`s a sale on Taobao. But there`s always a sale on Taobao. Oh, what about EBay? There`s always something you need there, too. Don`t forget that shower curtain with the pink bunnies and deer on it that you saw at the store and wanted to buy but didn`t and now it`s discontinued and you just have to have it. As long as you remember the security code on the back of your credit card, you`re going to find your way there. Oh, yes you are. Yes. You. Are.
瞧，淘寶上的東西打折了。其實該網站上的東西向來都有低價促銷。那易趣如何呢?那兒也總是有你所需要的東西。別忘了你在商店看到的那個有粉色小兔子和小鹿的浴簾，當時想買又沒買，現在已經斷貨了，你必須要買到它。只要你記得信用卡後的安全密碼，你就能在購物網站上找到你的天地。是的，你絕對可以。

The Search Engine Hole
搜索引擎之害

Ever go look up something on a search engine, something totally innocuous like Elizabeth Taylor, and it kicks off an awful journey that leaves you bleary-eyed three hours later? It`s so easy.
你有沒有使用搜索引擎上搜索過什麼信息，一些完全無害的信息，比如關於伊麗莎白•泰勒的，結果這卻讓你踏上了糟糕透頂的搜索之旅，3個小時後，你的眼睛已酸脹不已。這種情況太常見了。

Reading Blogs
閱讀博客

Wow, you really got all the way down here to the end? What the hell are you doing reading this on the weekend. Go see your family or read a book or watch Pirates of the Caribbean 4D or something. There`s a whole world out there!
噢！你一定要看完這篇文章嗎？你這個週末究竟在幹些什麼?就是看這篇文章嗎？去看看你的家人或者去讀一本書吧，要不就去看4D的《加勒比海盜》或者別的什麼!在網絡之外,還有更多精彩!