悲催老外漢字紋身笑點多 全世界都在紋中國話
Asian character tattoos have long been in style, with millions of brooding youths, aging hippies and pseudo-intellectuals seeking to express their world view via a couple of exotic-looking symbols etched into their skin.
亞洲文字紋身長久以來爲萬千新新人類、嬉皮潮人及諸多僞知識分子所推崇。他們熱衷此類怪異圖形，將其紋在自己的皮膚上，藉此表達他們獨特的世界觀。But many of the body art enthusiasts with a taste for the ‘Orient' do not bother to research what is it exactly they are having permanently inked on their ankle or lower back, to disastrous - and hilarious - results.
可是許多擁有"東方藝術"情節的紋身愛好者們，卻從不去探究他們烙印在四肢關節或者後背上的東西到底會有何等毀滅性的搞笑效果。The Hanzi Smatter blog, run by Tian Tang, has been trying to set the record straight by chronicling the ‘misuse of Chinese characters in Western culture' and translating would-be ‘Asian' tattoos for the benefit his readers.
由唐天（音譯）負責運作的漢字文化博客最近對西方文化中漢子的誤用及"東方文化"紋身的誤譯列出了直接的追溯記錄，以此爲廣大博客讀者提供指引幫助。
In the best-case scenario, the symbols turn out to be meaningless gibberish designed to look like an actual word, or a poor translation of a Western name into Chinese.
某些經典案例中，紋身的圖案看似是文字，實則只是一堆無意義的怪異圖形組合。也有一些是西方詞彙的漢語翻譯，與原文也許相去甚遠。But at times, Tian encounters real head-scratchers. In one case, a fierce ‘Outlaw' tattoo ended up translating to the less-than-threatening ‘Hiding Criminal,' or alternatively, a ‘Snitch.'
時不時唐天還會引用一些具體的案例，比如，有一個人想用紋身表達"逃犯"，卻誤翻成了"藏匿犯"，或者也有的寫作了"賊"。In a more macabre twist, a tattoo that was supposed to say ‘Fear No Man' improbably turned out to be ‘Coffin Man.
一個以死亡爲主題的紋身中，本來其主人想表達"無所畏懼"的含義，而紋上的字卻是"棺材佬"。On a similar note, one young lady wished to have the word ‘Bitch' carved into her skin, but the artist took some liberties with the language and instead inked the words ‘Cheap Whore'.
還有個案例，一名年輕女性想要在皮膚上紋上"女王"字樣，可是文字經過紋身者的自由發揮，紋成了"廉價妓女"。In many cases, the calligraphy is so poor and the combination of symbols appears so random that it is hard for Tang to figure out what exactly the person getting the tattoo had in mind when he or she went to get inked.
許多案例中，紋身的字都寫得很糟糕，而且字的上下左右排布都是非常隨機的。唐天甚至都沒法辨認出這些人去紋身的時候，究竟想紋什麼在身上。Among the more colourful examples in this category is ‘Golden Pig' (with the symbol for ‘Pig' upside down); ‘I Am slow/Pregnant' and ‘My Abusive Husband Pimps Me Out.'
'最鮮亮的例子就是"金豬"紋身（豬字還倒過來了），"我很慢/我懷孕了"，以及"惡夫將我賣"。But nothing captures the predicament of getting a tattoo in a language you don't know than the case of the person who meant to get inked with symbols for ‘Loyalty,' only to end up with ‘Noodles' permanently carved into his body.
不過最囧的情況是有人想在身上紋個"忠"，最後卻永遠的紋上了繁體的"面"字。
