"我有八塊腹肌 你有一塊肚腩" 健身該不該炫耀?

Confession: There was once a time in my life when I was Office Bike Guy. I was the chatty guy in the office who could not stop talking about bikes. I'd be at someone's desk or in the hallway or in a meeting and I had a mortifying habit of turning any conversation to my new and thrilling passion. I'd talk about the long bike rides I'd gone on, the fancy-pants new equipment I'd bought, the amazing fitness I'd achieved. How my poor co-workers humored this! They would politely compliment my riding endeavors, ask questions and sometimes even solicit advice about what bike they should buy. Wow, would I give them the most long-winded answers. I was utterly the worst. When I walked away, I am sure they rolled their eyes.

告白：有段時間我是辦公室裏的自行車男。我在辦公室裏總是滔滔不絕地聊自行車。無論是在某個同事的辦公桌旁，或是走廊裏，還是開會中，我都有個令人痛心疾首的習慣，那就是能把任何談話都轉到這個令我興奮的新愛好上。我會聊我的長途騎行經歷，新買的炫酷新裝備，還有超棒的健身效果。我那些可憐的同事們配合得也真是太好了！他們會禮貌地稱讚我的騎行經歷，問些問題，有時甚至會諮詢我他們應該買什麼樣的自行車。我肯定會給他們最?嗦的答案。我絕對是表現最差勁的。我走開的時候，他們肯定在翻白眼。

Over time, I began to ride my bike less, I got jaded about the Tour de France, and Office Bike Guy began to slowly vanish from the office. I'm sure my co-workers appreciated the break. It was probably best for everyone. I still cringe when I think about talking everyone's ear off about the Giro d'Italia. They just wanted to get back to their email.

後來，我騎車開始不那麼頻繁了，對環法自行車賽(Tour de France)開始感到厭倦，辦公室自行車男開始慢慢從辦公室裏消失。我的同事們肯定對此很是欣慰。這對所有人可能都是最好的。想起自己聊環意自行車賽(Giro d'Italia)聊到所有人都耳朵起繭子的時候，我還是會覺得後怕。他們那時候肯定只想回去查郵件。

But you know what? Sometimes I miss Office Bike Guy.

不過你可能想不到，有時我會想念辦公室自行車男。

Lately in the Journal there's been some provocative and very entertaining discussion about personal fitness and the idea that it should be experienced and not shared, that marathoners and triathletes and cyclists should feel free to do their races and workouts, but all of the broadcasting of accomplishments has gotten to be a bit much. Last week the writer Chad Stafko wrote an amusing essay in the Journal called 'OK, You're a Runner. Get Over It,' and the title really said it all, that fitness narcissism was reaching record heights, with the endless parade of bumper stickers and T-shirts and self-promotion. Didn't anyone just run for the sake of running anymore?

最近在《華爾街日報》掀起了對個人健身的討論，討論很激烈，也非常有趣。大家認爲健身應該是自己體驗就好，不應該分享給別人，馬拉松選手、鐵人三項運動員和自行車手隨便怎麼比賽和訓練都行，但是對他們成就的大肆宣揚有點過頭了。前不久，作家查德?斯塔福柯(Chad Stafko)在《華爾街日報》發表了一篇題爲《好，你喜歡跑步。沒什麼大不了的。》(OK, You're a Runner. Get Over It)的趣味文章，標題確實說明了一切，即健身的自我陶醉正達到前所未有的高潮，保險槓貼紙、T恤衫和自我推銷的炫耀似乎永無止境。難道現在沒人只是爲了跑步而跑步了嗎？

And as a former Office Bike Guy, I hear this complaint, I really do. As Stafko noted, this oversharing is not limited to athletics; it also extends to every banality of modern life, from taking selfies at a piano recital to the Instagrammer who really, really wants you to look at the organic Artichoke he or she just bought. Artichokes! That is what life is coming to. Praise my artichoke. Please.

作爲曾經的辦公室自行車男，這種抱怨的意思我懂，我確實懂。就像斯塔福柯指出的，這種過度分享並不僅限於競技運動，它還延伸到了現代平凡生活中的點點滴滴，從在鋼琴獨奏會上自拍，到那個很想讓你看他／她剛買的有機洋薊的玩Instagram的人。洋薊！這就是生活！讚美我的洋薊吧！拜託了！

But I am OK with this. Let's be clear about what we're saying when we ask people to curb their enthusiasm for their athletic achievements. We are saying that it bothers us. But what about it is irritating? Public displays of enthusiasm are everywhere. There is a guy in my neighborhood who wears a Star Wars hat all the time. This does not trouble me. I do not ask him to stop wearing the Star Wars hat (though I wonder if he has other hats.) Same goes for pets: I don't see the 'I Love My Corgi' sticker on the back of a car and think, Wow, the Corgi people are really getting to be annoying. Whatever happened to someone just owning a Corgi and shutting up about it? I just think that someone in that car loves Corgis. And that the interior of that car probably smells like Corgis.

不過這些我能接受。我們要弄清楚，我們在讓別人剋制對自己運動成就的熱情時是什麼意思。我們的意思是這樣會讓我們覺得煩。但到底是什麼讓我們覺得煩呢？公開表達熱情隨處可見。我所在的社區有一個人總是戴着《星球大戰》(Star Wars)的帽子。我不會覺得不爽。我不會要求他不要戴這頂帽子（不過我好奇他是不是還有其他帽子）。寵物也一樣：我不會看到某輛車後面貼着“我愛我的柯基犬”就想，啊，養柯基犬的人真的很討人厭。有人剛養了一隻柯基犬並且絕口不提又怎麼樣呢？我只會想那輛車裏的人很愛柯基犬，或許車裏也有柯基犬的味道。

If you are bothered by a 26.2 sticker on the back of a car, it probably says more about you than it does the occupant of the car. Drivers have been crowing about their honor students, their vacation destinations, their favorite members of the Grateful Dead (LET PHIL SING) as long as bumpers have existed. My colleague (and athlete) Kevin Helliker had a fascinating column the other day in which he theorized that fitness is the new rich, that runners and other athletes are regarded (and even targeted) as smug elitists. I fear he is right, and this is scary: The idea that fitness is elitist is not so far from the idea that higher education is elitist, a bizarro worldview that has actually arrived in modern politics without voters bursting out laughing.

如果一輛車後面貼着26.2的貼紙讓你覺得不爽，或許說明有問題的是你而不是車主。從保險槓貼紙問世以來，車主們就總是在炫耀家裏的優秀學生、度假目的地，還有感恩而死樂隊(Grateful Dead)裏他們最喜歡的成員。我的同事（同時也是運動員）凱文?赫裏克(Kevin Helliker)寫過一篇很棒的專欄文章，他指出健身是新富，而跑步者及其他運動員被認爲是（甚至被攻擊爲）自命不凡的精英。我擔心他是對的，這很可怕：認爲健身是精英化的無異於認爲高等教育是精英化的，這種怪異的世界觀出現在現代政治中的時候，選民們沒有不哈哈大笑的。

It's true that fitness has a way of transforming a life in such a way that the newly fit have a habit of becoming shameless and talkative, but this shamelessness is essentially benign, and I haven't even gotten to the part where we talk about the obesity rate in this country and how we should be encouraging anybody who breaks a sweat more than twice a month. Want to toot your own horn about it? I say knock yourself out. To share is human, and reasonable sharing has its place. We're talking about exercising! We're not asking you to watch a three-hour slide show of a trip to the Galapagos Islands.

健身確實能夠以某種方式改變一個人的生活，剛健身的人會有“恬不知恥”和話多的習慣，但這種“恬不知恥”在本質上是好的，我還沒提到這個國家的肥胖率以及我們該如何鼓勵每個月運動出汗超過兩次的人。你也想炫耀？那就行動吧。分享是人的天性，適度的分享無可厚非。我們說的可是鍛鍊！我們不是讓你看三個小時的去加拉帕戈斯羣島(Galapagos Islands)旅遊的幻燈片。

To be passionate is to be alive. I am no longer Office Bike Guy. Office Bike Guy has given way to Crazy New Father. If you're interested -- and even if you're not interested -- I can show you dozens of photos of an 8-month-old crawling, sitting up in his crib, eating breakfast, reading Chekhov (what can I say, my baby is brilliant). It is the most lovely thing in the world. . me. And in the end, that's the thing to remember about Office Runner and Office Triathlete and Office CrossFitter and everyone else who can't stop talking about their workouts: These are people who have fallen in love. And this love is making them healthier and happier people. So what if we have to listen to a few boring stories. OK, you're a runner? I love you. Tell me more.

擁有激情就是擁有活力。我不再是辦公室自行車男了。辦公室自行車男已經讓位給了瘋狂新爸爸(Crazy New Father)。如果你有興趣――就算沒有興趣――我會給你看幾十張八個月大的嬰兒爬行、坐在嬰兒牀裏、吃早飯、看契科夫文章（沒辦法，我的孩子就是聰明）的照片。這是世界上最美好的事情……對我來說。歸根結底，這是辦公室裏喜歡跑步、喜歡鐵人三項和喜歡綜合交叉訓練、以及其他滔滔不絕談論健身的人讓人記住的一點：這是一羣陷入愛河的人。這種愛讓他們成爲更健康和更快樂的人。所以如果我們不得不聽些無聊的故事該怎麼應答呢？噢，你喜歡跑步？我喜歡你。再多說一些吧。