吃飯時應該遠離的東西們 辦公室健康飲食守則

At the end of every day these items can be found on my desk at work: a large cardboard cup containing a residue of cold, brownish milk; a bag with grease marks and Danish pastry crumbs stuck to it; at least one empty can of Diet Coke; a wrapper that once contained an egg and cress sandwich; a banana skin and an empty Maltesers packet.

一天工作結束時，我的辦公桌上總能找到以下物品：一個大號紙杯，裏面喝剩下的一點牛奶已變成了棕色，早就涼了；一個粘着丹麥糕餅碎屑的油膩包裝袋；至少一個健怡可樂(Diet Coke)的空罐子；曾包裝雞蛋水芹三明治的塑料薄膜；一個香蕉皮以及一個空的麥提莎巧克力球(Maltesers)包裝袋。

For more than a decade I have been a devotee of dining al desko and have defended the practice to anyone who attacks it. I enjoy eating at my desk. Frequent visits to the vending machine punctuate the day and serve equally well for reward, for consolation and for an energy boost.

10多年來，我一直是桌邊進餐的堅定擁護者，始終在批評者面前捍衛這種行爲。我喜歡在辦公桌邊吃東西。對自動售貨機的頻繁造訪，讓我的一天打滿“標點符號”，這是對我的獎勵和安慰，還能幫我提神。

Last week I gave it all up. A visitor to the office would now find no trace of food on my desk, only a bone china cup, washed up and left neatly by my keyboard.

上週我放棄了這一切。如今，辦公室的來訪者在我的桌子上再也找不到任何食物的痕跡，只有一個洗乾淨後放在鍵盤邊的骨瓷杯。

This radical transformation has come as a result of reading a column by the restaurant reviewer AA Gill, in which he expounds a new sort of diet. You can eat whatever you like in whatever quantity but must obey the following rules on how you do it. 1. Don’t eat anything that can’t be eaten with a knife and fork. 2. Eat at a table with a place set, preferably facing someone else who is also eating. 3. Never eat because you are hungry: always eat because it is lunchtime. 4. Never eat standing up. 5. Never eat anything with, or off, plastic or cardboard. 6. Never eat with a screen on in the same room. 7. All meals must have at least two courses, except breakfast.

發生這一根本變化的原因是，我閱讀了餐廳評論家阿德里安•A•吉爾(AA Gill)的一篇專欄文章。他推崇一種新的飲食方式。你可以想吃什麼吃什麼、愛吃多少吃多少，但必須遵守怎麼吃的規則：1. 不要吃任何不能用刀叉吃的食物；2. 在指定場所的桌邊吃東西，最好是面對其他同樣在吃東西的人；3. 永遠不要出於飢餓吃東西，而是到午餐時間再吃東西；4. 永遠不要站着吃東西；5. 永遠不要用塑料或紙板餐具吃東西，也不要吃這類餐具中盛着的食物；6. 永遠不要在有顯示屏的房間吃東西；7. 除了早餐以外，每次用餐至少須有兩道菜。

At home, I have always more or less followed this diet. There are not many things left in life that I unambiguously believe in, but the family mealtime – with everyone sitting round a table, which has been laid in advance – is one of them.

在家裏，我總是或多或少能按這些規則進餐。我生活中深信不疑的信條不多，而家庭用餐就是其中之一——所有人都應圍坐在事先擺好的餐桌邊進餐。

Yet if this diet comes so naturally at home, why do I abandon it the minute I get to work? The detritus on my desk shows that every day I break all the rules. I even flout rule #4 and eat the first couple of Maltesers on the journey from vending machine to desk.

不過，既然我在家裏遵守進餐規則如此自然，爲什麼我上班時就要放棄規則呢？辦公桌上的碎屑表明，我每天都打破了所有規則。我甚至連4號規則都無視了——我會一邊從自動售貨機往辦公桌的方向走，一邊吃掉第一對麥提莎巧克力球。

You could say the fault isn’t mine, it is that offices invite uncivilised eating. My mother – a great believer in putting milk in jugs – is not there to advise and I am surrounded by colleagues, slurping and munching their way through the day.

你可能會說這不是我個人的錯，問題在於辦公室鼓勵不文明的吃法。我的母親是一位“牛奶應放在奶壺中”的擁躉，但她不在我身旁，無法爲我提供建議。在我的身邊圍着的，是整天咀嚼着走來走去的同事們。

I set out to see what office life would be like following Gill’s rules. The first change is that you have to have breakfast at home – which turns out to be an instant improvement as your own kitchen is the ideal place for breakfast and a belly full of porridge and toast is a better start to the day than a greasy Danish.

我開始考察，當人遵循吉爾規則時，辦公室生活會變成什麼樣？第一個變化就是你不得不在家吃早餐。這一變化被證明會立竿見影地改善生活，因爲自己廚房正是理想的早餐場所，而且比起油膩的丹麥點心，肚裏裝滿麥片粥和烤麪包更適宜作爲一天的開始。

Mid-morning I made a jug of coffee in the office, offered it round and drank mine from a china cup. This was so agreeable – better coffee, cheaper and more sociable – it made me wonder what I’ve been doing all these years sucking lattes out of a hole in a plastic lid like a baby drinking from a beaker.

半晌午的時候，我在辦公室泡了一壺咖啡，將它分給衆人，並用瓷杯喝了一杯。更棒的咖啡、更低廉的價格以及更友好的同事關係——所有這一切都如此令人愉快，以至於我感到奇怪，這麼多年來我到底在幹什麼——像個從燒杯裏喝水的嬰兒一樣，從塑料蓋上的小洞裏吮吸拿鐵？

At lunchtime on Day One, I went out with a colleague to buy a sandwich and some fruit, which we ate at a small table in his office. It was OK but the wrapping was non-compliant and I was eating with my hands. So on Day Two, I broached the office canteen, where I haven’t eaten in years. There I ate hot food on crockery with a knife and fork that I also used for my banana, which oddly tasted better as a result. The food wasn’t great, but the break in the day, the enforced conversation with colleagues and the superior feeling that comes from being civilised more than made up for it.

第一天的午餐時分，我與一位同事一同出門，買回個三明治和一些水果，在他辦公室的一張小桌邊吃了。這麼吃問題不大，不過食品的包裝不合規定，而且我是用手拿着吃的。於是，第二天我開始去多年沒去的公司食堂吃飯了。在那裏，我用刀叉吃了裝在陶瓷餐具裏的熱食，連香蕉也是用刀叉吃的。奇怪的是，香蕉用刀叉吃起來似乎也更好吃一點。這些食物吃起來感覺一般，不過由此享受到的日間休息、同事間不得不進行聊天，以及成爲文明人的優越感，其好處遠遠彌補了這一缺陷。

Mid-afternoon I went without Maltesers but didn’t miss them. Nor did I miss the Diet Coke. Instead I made a pot of tea for everyone and, thinking of my mum, even put the milk in a jug.

下午三點左右，我沒有吃麥提莎巧克力球，不過我並不想念它們。同樣，我也沒有懷念健怡可樂。相反，我爲所有人泡了一壺茶，而且由於想到了我母親，我甚至把牛奶也放到了奶壺裏。

The reason it was so easy is that food itself is curiously forgettable; what is not forgettable is the anticipation and the ritual. The knowledge that I was going to eat properly at lunchtime made the anticipation sweeter. Equally, the ritual of warming the teapot does the soul good.

做到這一切如此容易，是因爲食物本身是很容易忘記的——這一點有點奇怪。不容易忘記的是那種期待和用餐方式。午餐時我會正兒八經的吃東西，這種想法讓我對午餐的期待更爲甜美。同樣，加熱茶壺的過程也能我幫我提神。

Set against the benefits of this new diet – which is convivial, civilised, healthy, cheap, tidy and creates little rubbish – the only disadvantage is that it makes you disagreeably smug. With all the intolerance of a brand new convert, I have been giving filthy looks to the man who sits next to me as he stuffs a cheese croissant into his mouth while gawping at the screen.

與新飲食方式的好處（融洽、文明、健康、廉價、整潔而又不產生什麼垃圾）相比，唯一不足之處是它會讓你沾沾自喜。出於所有初皈依者的零容忍心態，在身旁那位男士邊盯着屏幕邊把奶酪牛角包塞進嘴巴時，我總是向他投去鄙夷的目光。

So far my disapproval hasn’t created many disciples. However, the diet is so good, I think coercion might be called for. Companies should get rid of all their vending machines and make the canteen the heart of office life, just as the kitchen is the centre at home.

到目前爲止，我的反對沒招來任何追隨者。然而這個飲食方式這麼棒，我想可以提議強制推行一下。企業應挪走所有自動售貨機，把食堂作爲辦公室生活的核心，正如廚房是家庭中心那樣。