女朋友說她愛上了跑步同伴,但卻想和我在一起生活
Dear Coleen
親愛的科琳My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and we live with each other. I've had a situation for about six months now where she's become really close to a friend of a friend who we saw occasionally at parties.
我和女朋友在一起5年了，目前住在一起。過去6個月以來，有個問題一直困擾着我：她和一個我們偶然在聚會上遇到的朋友的朋友走的很近。They exchanged phone numbers because they're both keen runners and started going out training together, which I didn't have a problem with. A couple of my mates warned me that this guy had feelings for my girlfriend, but I didn't take it seriously because I totally trusted her and our relationship was as good as it's ever been.
由於他們都喜歡跑步，所以互相留了電話號碼，自此就開始一起訓練了（對此我並不反對）。幾個好基友警告我，那個男人喜歡上我女朋友了，但我沒把它當回事兒。因爲我非常信任我的女朋友，我們像往常一樣，十分融洽。
Then a couple of weeks ago, she admitted to me that she was falling in love with him, and that it had taken her by surprise. What started out as friendship and running buddies had changed into something else and she couldn't lie to me.
但幾周前，她承認自己愛上他了，她自己也很吃驚。一開始他們只是一起跑步的好朋友，但最後卻彼此有了感情，她不想騙我。I went mad and stormed out, and returned the next day when we had a heart to heart. She's now saying she doesn't want to end things with me, but wants to keep seeing this other guy as a friend. Of course, my instinct is to say no. She insists they haven't slept together and I believe her, but I don't know how to handle this situation.
我發瘋似的衝了出去，但第二天我又回去了，彼此交了心。她說她不想和我分手，但希望能和那個男人繼續做朋友。當然，直覺告訴我不行。但她堅持稱他們還沒睡過，我信她，但我卻不知該如何應對這種情況。
Please help.
請幫幫我。Coleen says
科琳說Of course she can't keep seeing this guy if she wants to make it work with you and you are willing to try, too. It's just not an option - at the very least it'll stop the two of you from moving on and rebuilding trust. Or it could lead to the two of them ending up in bed together. A situation like this is like a knife to the heart - admitting that she's in love with someone and cares that much for another person is worse than a one-night stand, in my opinion.
如果她想繼續和你在一起，而且你也有這個意願，那肯定不能讓她再和那個男人見面了。這不是選擇題--如果他們繼續見面，至少你們的感情會受到影響，難以重建信任。或者，他們最終會睡到一起。這種情況可就扎心了--我認爲，承認自己愛上某人、非常關心某人比一夜情還要糟糕。The two of you need to really examine what's going wrong in your relationship for her to be vulnerable to an affair.
你們倆需要好好談談，理清楚哪兒出了錯，爲什麼可能出軌。
