冷酷老公準備的浪漫郵輪驚喜
Dear Anne
親愛的安妮My husband surprised me last week when he gave me tickets for a month-long Caribbean cruise for our diamond anniversary. Our relationship has been cooling for years and suddenly, now our youngest is off to college, I get a romantic gesture?
上週我的老公給了我一個驚喜：在鑽石婚紀念日送了我一張長達一個月的加勒比郵輪票。多年來，我們的感情一直不冷不熱，但現在，我們最小的孩子都已經上大學了，他卻送了我這個，他是在示愛嗎？I couldn't handle it. I threw the tickets at him and yelled. No warmth from him for years and now this? I don't even know how I feel. Do they do counselling for oldies?
我真的不清楚該如何應對。我把票扔向他，衝他大吼。多年來，他一直未給我溫暖，如今卻這般做法？我甚至不知道我內心做何感想。有沒有爲老年夫妻服務的諮詢師啊？
Anne says
安妮說Yes, they do!
當然有！And you probably both need it - separately or together - to try to figure out your own feelings and future as a couple. Bringing up a family, it can be easy to grow apart. Mainly because of the practical demands versus a partner's emotional needs.
你們倆也許都需要去看諮詢師--可以一起去，也可以分開去--搞清楚各自的感情、以及你們的未來。你們組建了一個家庭，撫養了孩子，但也很容易分開。主要是因爲實際需求與另一半的情感需求相悖。You are both past counselling through those years where you "have to find a way" to get on for the sake of the kids. They have flown the nest but it doesn't mean the state of your marriage won't have an impact. I have friends whose parents got divorced once they were in college and it still affects them. So don't put it off thinking of their age.
你們都已經過了爲了孩子必須找方法解決婚姻問題而去諮詢的階段。孩子們都已振翅高飛，但這並不意味着你們的婚姻毫無問題。我有一些朋友，他們的父母在他們上大學之後離婚了，這種經歷至今仍影響着他們。所以，不要以爲年紀一大把就會相安無事。You need to talk it through, with perhaps a Relate counsellor or an objective friend. What is important to you? Can you reignite a flame with him on a cruise?
你們需要好好聊聊，可以找夫妻諮詢師聊，也可以和朋友聊（朋友要做到客觀公正）。於你而言，什麼纔是重要的？郵輪度假能重燃你們的火花嗎？I understand your resentment. But, if it makes sense to give it another chance, go for it. If he lets you down, you tried.
我懂你對他的恨。但是，如果你覺得可以再給他一個機會，那就去吧。如果他讓你失望了，那畢竟你也爲之努力過了。Dear Anne
親愛的安妮My lover is seeing so many women. How can I get him to see me as the special one? I knew from the first that he was playing the market. But I am falling in love with him. And he is SO cute.
我的情人有很多女朋友。怎麼做才能讓他覺得我特殊呢？打從一開始我就知道，他在遊戲人間。但我愛上他了。他長得帥萌帥萌的。Anne says
安妮說Run, run, run. I promise you this is the best advice. You know he is seeing other sexual partners yet you hang on in there. You know you are merely another statistic in his line-up. Come on, why do you want to be this moron's "special one"? Do you want to become a doormat?
趕緊跑！我向你保證，這是最佳建議。你都知道他有其她女性牀伴了，你還杵在那等他？你要知道，你就是他的一個備胎啊！你幹嘛要成爲他的"唯一"啊？難道你想當受氣包？
