你如何知道別人真的信任你？
How Can You Tell if People Really Trust You?
你怎麼知道別人真的信任你？
And does it really matter?
再者，這重要嗎？
There is a lot of discussion about trust these days. People are generally less trusting, tending to be more reserved and guarded about what they share and whom they share it with. We have seen many very public breaches of trust and deep down that is a fear most of us have.
近來，關於信任的討論鋪天蓋地。人們普遍變得越來越難相信別人，越來越保守，對自己分享的信息以及被分享的對象變現得越來越自我防衛。我們見證過很多違法公衆信任的例子，而在我們的內心深處，這也是我們大多數人都感到恐懼的。
When working with people, either as clients or colleagues, not being trusted can have dire consequences. It can result in lower client loyalty, less referrals, more client issues around billing, delivery of services and even fairly public backlashes on social media.
當與他人共事，無論是客戶還是公司同事，如果不被信任，就會造成可怕的後果。這將會導致更低層次的顧客忠誠度，更少商務推薦人，與客戶有更多金錢方面的糾紛，造成服務的傳遞缺失甚至社交媒體的公衆反彈效果。
Today we see entire industries that struggle with being trusted, due in no small part to their previous actions. Once trust is lost, it is very hard to regain.
今天我們看到各行各業正在信任的大海里掙扎，原因在於先前的細微失誤。信任一旦缺失，就很難重獲。
So how can you tell is someone really trusts you? Over the years I have found that trust can be determined by the type of information that people share with you. The more personal the information the more trusting the person is of you. This might sound obvious, but do you really stop to consider what those around you are sharing or perhaps trying to share but you are missing their hints.
那麼你怎麼知道他人是真正地信任你？經過多年後筆者發現，信任的建立取決於信息分享的種類。分享的信息越私人化，就代表你越被他人信任。也許這是非常明顯的，但是你是否真正靜下來思考過，有哪些在你身邊正分享的內容或者那些正準備分享的東西，而你正好錯過了這些訊息。
Sharing personal information is a sign of their vulnerability. This is the kind of information that if shared to outside parties could result in them being embarrassed or even humiliated, or it might even have a direct impact on how their colleagues view them. This in turn could cause problems with career growth or even employment, depending on what the information that was revealed.
分享個人信息是個人脆弱性的標誌。這是一種只要分享到外界後，就會使得自身尷尬不安甚至被羞辱的信息，甚至還會直接到影響同事對他們的評價。轉而也會取決於何種信息被分享，而對個人的職業發展甚至職位去向造成各種問題。
We might share private information because it's in our best interest. For example we tend to trust our Doctor, realizing that it makes sense to share information that could ultimately have an impact on our health. But to tell someone we work with, or someone who is advising us, something personal, is a big step and a leap of faith.
我們分享自己的隱私可能因爲那就是我們的最大興趣。例如，我們都會相信醫生，因爲意識到與醫生分享個人信息會最終對我們的個人健康產生影響。但是如果與同事分享這些信息，或與其他給予我們建議的人分享，這將會是信任度的巨大飛躍。
What if someone confides in you, but only to share gossip about someone in the office? Does this mean they trust you? Not really. This is more a conspiratorial move, where sharing gossip is done to build rapport.
但若是有人向你吐苦水，但僅僅是因爲想跟你說說辦公室裏的八卦呢？這個行爲意味着對方信任你嗎？並不一定。這只是一個相對具有陰謀性質的舉動，在說八卦的同時建立密切關係。
Personally I use the information that people share with me as a way to measure if I am trusted or not. If they are opening up and being very authentic and vulnerable, airing their own perceived faults and failings, I do everything in my power to respect the trust they have shown and I would never, ever do anything to betray it.
就筆者個人來說，我會利用他人與我分享的這些信息以判斷他人是否信任我。如果他們保持開放的態度以及真誠和脆弱，能夠顯示自己意識到的錯誤和失敗，我就會盡我所能尊重他們對我的信任，並且，我永遠也絕不做任何違揹他們信任的事情。
When it comes to sharing gossip, negative comments about other people, I don't engage. I send a very clear message that I am not interested in that kind of talk and I find that the gossipers soon realize this, they stop gossiping to me and start having far more authentic conversations.
當談及講八卦消息或對他人的負面評論時，我都不會參與。我會明確表明自己對這些話題的討論並不感興趣，然後我發現那些始作俑者很快就意識到了，然後在我面前就不再說八卦，並且與我開展遠遠真誠的交談了。
The bottom line is that being trusted enough for others to confide in you at a personal level is a very good thing, in every way. Respect this trust, you have earned it. Over time it can become the backbone of your professional and personal reputation.
底線在於你給他人足夠的信任使他人向你吐露心聲，這是一件非常美好的事情，無論以何種方式。尊重這份信任，是你努力獲得的。很久後，就會成爲你專業與個人名譽的強有力支柱。
