騙自己！我們最愛跟自己說的10句謊

1. “I’m going to wake up early and get a head start on my day.”
“我明天打算早起。讓一天有個好的開始。”

What You Mean: I will incorporate the sound of my alarm clock into my dreams and hit snooze 30 times before being late for work.
你的意思是：我會把鬧鐘的聲音融合到我的夢中，被鬧醒後再貪睡大概30次，直到起晚了上班遲到。

2. “I’m definitely going to the gym after work.”
“我下班後一定要去健身。”

What You Mean: OMG, literally 50 unexpected errands just came up that are all non-urgent but I absolutely should do immediately. Too bad about the gym, huh.
你的意思是：哦天吶，多出了50件必須做的事！雖然都不緊急，但我還是應該立刻處理。真糟糕沒時間去健身了。

3. “I’m going to start writing down all my expenses and spending less money.”
“我會把所有的開銷都記下來，節省開支。”

What You Mean: I’m going to keep track of the money I spend on rent and toilet paper and conveniently forget my reckless, expanding party budget.
你的意思是：我會把房租和買衛生紙用的錢記下來，然後輕易地忘記我在派對上揮霍的錢。

4. “Of course I’m TOTALLY over him!”
“當然，我已經完全忘記他了！”

What You Mean: If you were to wander into my bedroom at 4 a.m., you would find me on his Facebook profile…in a photo album from December 2009.
你的意思是：如果你正好凌晨4點來臥室拜訪我，你會發現我在看他的臉書網個人資料……在看他2009年12月起建立的相冊。

5. “OK, but this time I’m serious. I’m NEVER texting her/him again.”
“好吧，不過這一次我是認真的。我絕不會再發短信給他了。”

What You Mean: I will most certainly, definitely, assuredly text her/him again. Then I will delete the evidence. TOO BAD YOU CAN’T DELETE SHAME AND REGRET.
你的意思是：我確定一定以及肯定會發短信給他。並且我會刪除發件箱裏的記錄。真可惜我不能把自己的羞愧和懊悔一起刪除掉。6.“OK, but seriously, it’s time to catch up on the classics. Jane Austen, here I come!”
“好吧，不過說真的，是時候讀點經典文學了。簡·奧斯丁，我來啦！”

What You Mean: Just realized I could sound just as smart by just watching the movies. Colin Firth, here I come!
你的意思是：我剛意識到我看原著改編的電影照樣可以附庸文雅。科林·弗思，我來啦！

7. “I’m going to clean my apartment right after work today, it’s getting kinda gross.”
“我今天下班一回到家就開始打掃，我的公寓髒的有點噁心了。”

What You Mean: I’m going to push a couple of hairballs around and take out that pizza box… Then I’m going to get distracted by literally anything.
你的意思是：我會把幾個頭髮線球擺弄一下，拿走匹薩盒子……然後我會因爲各種事情分心忘記打掃的計劃。

8. “I’m going to take fewer naps and do more work.”
“我要少睡覺，多做事。”

What You Mean: Zzzzzzzzz.
你的意思是：呼嚕呼嚕呼嚕睡一覺。

9. “Just one more episode.”
“就再多看一集。”

What You Mean: At some point in the next seven hours, I will fall asleep with my laptop on my face, and I will hate myself in the morning.
在接下來的7小時中的某個時刻，我會面朝筆記本睡着，第二天早晨我會後悔不迭。

10. “I’m going to master a foreign language.”
“我要掌握一門外語。”

What You Mean: I’m going to learn how to curse and order food in a foreign language.
你的意思是：我要學習怎麼用外語罵人和點餐。