幽默英文小笑話
“哪裏有人,哪裏就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起着重要調劑作用。下面本站小編爲大家帶來幽默英文小笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
幽默英文小笑話1：
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river,
fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the
bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這麼一個例子：“有這樣一種情
況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裏。於是他開始掙扎並喊救命。
他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是爲
什麼?” 一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款?”
幽默英文小笑話2：
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's
wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things
to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty
could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm
an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。
“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約 50 磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
幽默英文小笑話3：
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a
I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the
most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
一天晚上我開着丈夫的車去購物，
回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了一陣。當我終於走進屋裏時大聲喊：“世界上最
愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。”
我丈夫擡頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了?”
幽默英文小笑話4：
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement
community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be
moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
這裏想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有 65 歲的話，
千萬別進退休社區。因爲那裏人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，擡東西
或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的幹吧。”
