簡單的英語短笑話大全

幽默和笑話有概念上的區別,笑話是滑稽言談本身,幽默在這裏則被作爲心智和性情層面上的概念來看待。小編精心收集了簡單的英語短笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單的英語短笑話：You've changed my mind

Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"

Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I?m beginning to think I didn?t."

　　簡單的英語短笑話：Some last minute requests

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" Thephysician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.

The man then said, "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silentfor several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I'd check out the same way."

　　簡單的英語短笑話：Stone the Prostitute

In the town square a nasty crowd had gathered, intending to stone to death a prostitute. From the crowd, Jesus strides forward, holds up his arms and yells "Let ye without sin cast the first stone!"

The crowd is contrite, for none amongst them can honestly say they are without sin. Then a little old, withered up woman comes hobbling up, picks up a good size rock and beans the prostitute right between the eyes.

Jesus just stands there with his hands on his hips and says, "Sometimes, Mother, you really piss me off!"

　　簡單的英語短笑話：Children's Words

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed inbetween the pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment, he claimed: "I think it's Adam's suit!"

　　簡單的英語短笑話：Telling Lies

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."

"Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex."

In unison they all replied, "You win!"

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