簡單爆笑英語笑話大全
冷笑話作爲一種新興的頗受年輕人和網民喜愛的語言方式,一般不會使讀者在聽到或者讀到之後立即發笑,而往往會停頓一下才能明白其中的幽默點。下面是本站小編帶來的簡單爆笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
Bank Robbery 銀行搶劫
Two accountants are in a bank ,
當武裝捻匪突然衝進銀行的時候。
when armed robbers burst in.
正好有兩名會計人員在裏面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,
正當幾個搶匪向出納員取錢的時候，
others line the customers,
其他的搶匪就把顧客們，
including the accountants,
包括這兩名會計人員在內，
up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.
靠着牆壁排成一線開始奪取他們身上的皮夾子和手錶等物品。
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two'shand.
當這件搶案正在發生的時候，一號會計人員把纂樣東西塞迸二號會計火員的手裏面。
Without looking down,a
沒有向下看，
ccountant two whispers,
二號會計人員就輕聲地說：
"What is this ?" to which accountant number one replies,
“這是什麼東西呀?”
"It 's that $50 I owe you."
一號會計人員回答說：“那是我欠你的五十元啦。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇二Smaller Fish
小魚
Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,
有兩名男子在餐廳點魚。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,
服務生端來裝着兩條魚的盤子，
one larger than the other.
其中一條魚比另外一條來得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."
當中一位男子跟另外一位說：
The other one said"Ok,"
“別客氣，請自行取用呀。”
and helped himself to the larger fish.
另外一位男子說：“好”，
After a tense silence,
於是就幫自己挑了比較大條的魚 。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smaller fish!"
就在一陣氣氛緊張的沉默之後，第一位男子就說：“真是的。如果你要我先選，我就會拿比較小條的魚。”
The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"
另一位男子回答說：“那你在抱怨個什麼勁呀?你現在已經拿了呀，不是嗎?”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇三Exchange Sandwiches
交換三明治
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
有兩位律師走進一家小餐廳。點了兩份飲料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
然後他們就從他們的公文包當中拿出三明治開始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned
服務生感到相當不妥，
and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"
就走過去告訴他們：“你們不可以在這裏吃你們自己的三明治!”
The attorneys looked each other ,
這兩位律師彼此看了一下對方，
shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
聳聳他們的肩膀，然後就交換三明治。
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇四Idiot Teacher
白癡老師
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜愛挖苦人的老師說：“如果在這間教室裏面有白癡，就請站起來好嗎?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之後，有一名新生就站起來了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老師就以譏笑的口氣問他：“喂， 先生，你爲什麼認爲你自己是個白癡呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."
這名學生說：“ 唉呀，實際上我纔不認爲我是個白癡呢，而是我很討厭看着你一個人站在那裏啦。”
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