2016最新英語冷笑話大全
在人們的日常生活及交往當中，笑話無處不在。它作爲一個普遍現象，受到了不同領域學者的關注，研究涉及心理學、哲學、修辭學、社會學等衆多學科。下面是本站小編帶來的2016最新英語冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!
Adam's suit
Johnny was looking at an old family Bible when something fell out.
約尼正在看一本家族聖經，突然有什麼東西從書中掉了出來。
He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a leaf that had been pressed in the pages. 他撿起來仔細地看，原來是一片加在書頁中的樹葉。
His mom came along and asked, "What do you have there Johnny?"
這時，他的媽媽走過來問：“你拿的是什麼?約尼?”
Johnny replied, "I think it's Adam's suit."
約尼回答說：“我想，這應該是亞當的衣服。”
2016最新英語冷笑話篇二Excuse for speeding
A cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding.
警察在高速上攔下一輛超速的車。
When he asked for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me."
當他要駕駛員的駕照時，駕駛員辯稱，“超速，但是警官，我剛纔只是想和我後邊的車保持安全距離。”
2016最新英語冷笑話篇三Little Voice
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stompedher foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
一個男人正在除草，聽見他的鄰居正好走出家門。這個鄰居恰好是個金髮碧眼美女。她打開郵箱，往裏面看了看，然後又關上了它。她踱踱腳，轉身回去。這個人覺得好奇怪啊!
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.
幾分鐘過去了，金髮美女又走出了房門，檢查郵箱，跺跺腳又回去。這個人停止除草，去檢查她的郵箱是否出了問題。沒有發現什麼，他聳了聳肩繼續除草。
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''
當他再次聽見她出來的時候，他關掉除草機走到她的面前。“你每五分鐘出來一次，到底在做什麼呀?”
The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''
金髮美女擡頭看看這個人說道：“你看，我聽到我房間這個微弱的聲音一直在說，‘你有信件來了，’可是當我出來看的時候卻發現什麼都沒有。”
2016最新英語冷笑話篇四How Much for a Season Pass? 宿舍季度通行證
A new dorm rule was announced.
新宿舍規範出臺了。
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.
“女生宿舍將全面謝絕男生的光顧，男生宿舍也同樣不得進入女生。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
"不論是誰，一旦違規，初犯將被罰款20美元。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60."
"第二次違規者要被罰款60美元。"
"Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
第三次被抓住需要交180美元的罰款。還有什麼疑問沒有?”
"At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er... How much for a season pass?"
"這時人羣中一個男同學問訊道，“那麼一個季度通行證需要多少錢?”
Notes: 註釋
Out of bounds: 禁止入內的
To Incur: to cause 招致什麼樣的後果
Hefty: heavy; considerable size or amount, 重型, 很巨大的一筆錢財
2016最新英語冷笑話篇五Bus load of politicians 一車政客
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing whathappened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a load of holes and buried all the politicians.
一輛滿載政客的大汽車在鄉間路上行駛，突然偏離大陸，撞到一棵樹上。這棵樹正長在一位老年農民的地裏。農民看見發生事故就跑去看看情況。最後農民挖了一個大坑，把所有的政客都埋了。
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
幾天後，當地縣治安官來到這裏，看見被撞壞的汽車，問這位老農民：“‘所有人’都死了?” 老農民回答說：“呃...有些人說他們還活着，但是你知道政客們就喜歡撒謊。”
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