小學生幽默英語笑話大全
笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。下面是本站小編帶來的小學生幽默英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
who want to go to heaven
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因爲總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。
一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看着他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
小學生幽默英語笑話篇二Three Men in a Boat
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.
"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三人同舟
三位男子在公園的長椅上坐着。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。
一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。
“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”
“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裏弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接着就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。
小學生幽默英語笑話篇三One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happybecause he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.
一天下班回家，約翰發現妻子在搖半歲的女兒，嘴裏反覆念道：“爸-爸。”約翰心裏感到美滋滋的，他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個詞首先教孩子。
幾周後的一天夜裏，約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，親愛的。”妻子說，然後翻身竟自睡了。
小學生幽默英語笑話篇四A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz.， Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself， saying，“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away，away，”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done， you'll be richer than Iam.”
一個窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩賙濟。國王想知道他何以攀認親戚，窮漢回答說，“我們有共同的祖先——亞當和夏娃。”聽了這話，國王就給了他一個小銅子兒。於是窮人開始叫屈，說：“難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這麼一點點錢嗎?”“走開，快走，”國王回答，“如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個銅板，你就比我還有錢了。”
小學生幽默英語笑話篇五When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一隻老虎出現在遠處，向他們衝來。當中的一個人從包裏拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看着他說，“你以爲穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
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