史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯
笑話是民間故事中一種短小的飽含諷刺幽默意味的體裁。下面小編整理了史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!
先生,我們9點關門
"Waitress," shouted the impatient diner, "do I have to sit here and starve all night?"
"no, sir, we close at nine o'clock."
“服務員，”用餐者不耐煩地叫道，“我必須整晚坐在這兒捱餓嗎?”
“不，先生，我們9點關門。”
史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯鑑賞母雞的腿爲什麼那麼短?
Son: Why are hen's legs so short?
Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieceswhen laying?
兒子：爲什麼母雞的腿這麼短呢?
父親：你真笨。如果母雞的腿太長，它們下蛋的時候，雞蛋豈不都摔碎了?
史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯賞析Contented Married Life
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
令人滿意的婚姻生活
一個男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的祕密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。”
“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
“嗯，”那個人回答說：“她決定我申請什麼工作，我們住什麼房子，買什麼傢俱，去哪裏度假這些事情。”
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那麼你決定哪些重要事情?”
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎麼處理原子彈等等這些問題。”
史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯欣賞結婚的成本 The cost of marriage
The cost of marriage
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
婚姻的成本
一個小男孩問他的父親，“爸爸，要花多少錢才能結婚呢?”
“我也不知道，我現在還在交錢。”父親回答。
史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯品味讓交警爲之崩潰的一次駕駛
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him — he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
一個傢伙開車的時候警察追了上來。這個傢伙搖開窗戶問警察：“怎麼了，警官?”
“沒事，我觀察到了你的安全駕駛技術，很高興你獲得了價值5000美元的安全駕駛獎。祝賀你!你認爲你要拿這筆錢去做什麼?”
他想了一會說“哦，我覺得，我應該去考駕照”。
坐在副駕駛位的女士說"別在意他說的，他喝醉了酒說胡話呢.
“後面座位的傢伙說”我告訴你，偷來的車我們走不遠的。”
此時，行李箱出現了敲擊聲並傳出一個模糊不清的聲音：“我們穿過了邊境了嗎?”
史上最搞笑的英語笑話帶翻譯欣賞I Could Do It Slower
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.
我可以幹得慢一些
病人：拔一顆牙收費多少?
牙醫：50美元。
病人：只幾分鐘的活兒就要50美元?
牙醫：好的，如果你喜歡的話，我可以幹得慢一些。
