短篇英語笑話

幽默寓於笑話之中，它是笑話的精料，智慧之所在。笑話是幽默的載體，一個成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽者和講者都會感到快樂、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是本站小編整理的短篇英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　短篇英語笑話一：

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”

“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你爲什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”

“她是個賣糖果的。”

　　短篇英語笑話二：I don't think I know

Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

老師：“John，動詞ring的過去分詞是什麼?”。

約翰：“你想它是什麼呢”?

老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。

約翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　短篇英語笑話三：A Girl's Name 女孩的名字

When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .

Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.

Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.

女兒出生時，我們給她取名叫邁爾斯，和我深愛的業已過世的父親同一個名字，不過家人提醒這個名字太男性化了。

幾年以後，我覺得邁爾斯已經長大，能夠懂事了。我對她解釋說：你的名字很特別。我給你取了一個和我爸爸一樣的名字，因爲我非常愛他。我相信他會爲你而深感自豪的。

邁爾斯很仔細地想了一下，然後說道：這些我都懂，媽媽。可是我不知道外公爲什麼會有一個女孩子的名字。

　　短篇英語笑話四：電腦問題

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

我在惠普公司打印機部做技術支持工作已經有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因爲三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅動程序然後重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我諮詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎麼辦。經過兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試。”

　　短篇英語笑話五：兄弟倆的對話 Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父親在哪兒?

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　短篇英語笑話六：汽車配件 Automobile Fittings

A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer, "Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories(附件) in the neighborhood?"

Mountaineer says, "Some people usually drive heroic car on the road. There is a abrupt turn(急轉彎) ahead not far from here, and a clough(深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories. You will spend no money at all."

一個卡車司機向一山民打聽：“請問，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”

山民說：“這條路上經常有人開英雄車，前面不遠處是個急轉彎，急轉彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷裏什麼樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不着花錢。”