看英文笑話學英語大全
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。冷笑話不同於一般笑話,它以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間創造出一種特殊的氛圍。下面是本站小編帶來的看英文笑話學英語，歡迎閱讀!
遇上大麻煩的夜賊Burglar
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.
"I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"
"So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"
To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"
中文翻譯：
一個夜賊剛進入他準備洗劫的房子，他環顧四周，搜尋可偷的東西。突然，他聽到了一個細小的聲音：“我能看見你，上帝也能看見你。”
非常吃驚地，夜賊環視了一下房間。什麼也沒有，他繼續他的行竊活動。
“我能看見你，上帝也能看見你。”
夜賊又被嚇了一跳，他又環視了一下房間。最終，他發現在窗戶附近的角落裏，有個幾乎被窗簾遮蓋住的籠子，裏面有隻鸚鵡。它又一次說到：“我看見你了，上帝也能看見你。”
“那又怎樣，”夜賊說到，“你只是只鸚鵡而已。”
鸚鵡回答說：“也許，但是，上帝是一隻獵犬。”
看英文笑話學英語篇二最後的坦誠 Dying Man
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."
His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
中文譯文：
一個男人在臨死之前向他的妻子傾訴說：“我死之前必須告訴你一些事情的真相。在我們的整個婚姻中，我一直都在欺騙你。在那些我告訴你我會工作到很晚的夜裏，我是和其他女人在一起。而且還不止一個女人。我曾經和很多女人睡過覺。
他的妻子平靜地看着他，說道：“你爲什麼沒有想到是我給你下的毒藥呢?”
看英文笑話學英語篇三你的妻子掉出去了
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
中文翻譯：
在一個鄉村路上，一警察讓這個農民靠邊停車，說：“先生，你意識到你的妻子在幾公里前從車上掉下去了嗎?”農民回答說：“感謝上帝，我還以爲我聾了呢!”
看英文笑話學英語篇四A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
中文翻譯：
一個傳教士在買鸚鵡。
“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。
“哦，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。
“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦讚美詩”
“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什麼呢?”
“我會從樹幹上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。
看英文笑話學英語篇五Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in theirpockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."
中文翻譯：
皮特告訴他的朋友他剛剛丟掉了工作。
“爲什麼領班會開除你?”朋友詫異地問。
“哦，”皮特說，“你知道領班是什麼樣的人。他們總是把手插在口袋了，站在旁邊看其他人工作。”
“我們知道是這樣。”朋友回答說。“但是爲什麼他會讓你走?”
“嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都認爲我是領班。”
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