經典英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的
冷笑話是指運用歧義、擬人、諧音等語言表現手段,迫使聽話人進行違反邏輯和超出常規思維的思考,並超越了聽話人的常規認知期待。下面小編整理了英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的，希望大家喜歡!
雙語城市 Bilingual City
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude — French for hot.
You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的水龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。
“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標着C的龍頭流出的是開水。”
“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語裏代表‘熱’。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話就應該知道這一點。”
“等等，”那位顧客咆哮着，“另外一個龍頭標的也是C。”
“那當然，”經理說道：“這個C代表冷(cold)。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”
經典英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的什麼都有,你要買什麼?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma'am, we haven't had any for a while, and itdoesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.
Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll havesomesoon, we placed an order last week.
Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything saywe've got it on order and it's what was it she wanted?
Rain, said the clerk.
一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。
經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：當然，馬上就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。
然後經理把店員拉到一邊：千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼，說我們已經訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現在你說她要買什麼?
雨，店員說。
關於英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的承諾的結果 The consequences
Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. Whatwere you doing last term?
父親：我曾向你許諾，如果你考試及格就給你買倆小汽車，可你卻未能做到。你上學期一直在幹什麼呀?
Son: I was learning to drive a car.
兒子：我在學開汽車。
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的欣賞錯獻殷勤 Not Funny
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to hishostess.
At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite youhave tonight, Mr. Jones."
"To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."
在一次晚餐聚會上，一位靦腆的年輕人一直在冥思苦想對女主人說一些好聽的話。
機會終於來了，女主人轉向他說：“瓊斯先生，您今晚的飯量太小了。”
“坐在您身邊，”他殷勤的說道，“任何男人都會失去胃口的。”
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的品味好孩子 Good Boy!
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再給你兩分錢。可你爲什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是個賣糖果的。”
英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑的摘抄你爸爸幫你做作業了嗎?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all hissums right.
一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。
The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.
老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. Whathappened? Did your father help you?"
他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"
