經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第12章5

But at that moment the door opened. Zaphod span round to see the man who had pursued him standing there. He carried a large briefcase. He was smartly dressed, and his hair was short. He had no beard and no long fingernails.
“Zaphod Beeblebrox,” he said, “My name is Zarniwoop. I believe you wanted to see me.”
Zaphod Beeblebrox wittered. His mouths said foolish things. He dropped into a chair.
“Oh man, oh man, where did you spring from?” he said.
“I’ve been waiting here for you,” he said in a businesslike tone.
He put the briefcase down and sat in another chair.
“I am glad you followed instructions,” he said, “I was a bit nervous that you might have left my office by the door rather than the window. Then you would have been in trouble.”
Zaphod shook his heads at him and burbled.
“When you entered the door of my office, you entered my electronically synthesized Universe,” he explained, “if you had left by the door you would have been back in the real one. The artificial one works from here.”
He patted the briefcase smugly.
Zaphod glared at him with resentment and loathing.
“What’s the difference?” he muttered.
“Nothing,” said Zarniwoop, “they are identical. Oh – except that I think the Frogstar Fighters are grey in the real Universe.”
“What’s going on?” spat Zaphod.
“Simple,” said Zarniwoop. His self assurance and smugness made Zaphod seethe.
“Very simple,” repeated Zarniwoop, “I discovered the coordinated at which this man could be found – the man who rules the Universe, and discovered that his world was protected by an Unprobability field. To protect my secret – and myself – I retreated to the safety of this totally artificial Universe and hid myself away in a forgotten cruise liner. I was secure. Meanwhile, you and I…”
“You and I?” said Zaphod angrily, “you mean I knew you?”
“Yes,” said Zarniwoop, “we knew each other well.”
“I had no taste,” said Zaphod and resumed a sullen silence.
“Meanwhile, you and I arranged that you would steal the Improbability Drive ship – the only one which could reach the ruler’s world – and bring it to me here. This you have now done I trust, and I congratulate you.” He smiled a tight little smile which Zaphod wanted to hit with a brick.
“Oh, and in case you were wondering,” added Zarniwoop, “this Universe was created specifically for you to come to. You are therefore the most important person in this Universe. You would never,” he said with an even more brickable smile, “have survived the Total Perspective Vortex in the real one. Shall we go?”
“Where?” said Zaphod sullenly. He felt collapsed.
“To your ship. The Heart of Gold. You did bring it I trust?”
“No.”

就在此時，那扇門打開了。贊福德轉過身，看見剛纔追趕他的那個人站在那兒，手裏拎着一個大公文包。他穿得很光鮮，頭髮很短。他沒有留鬍子，指甲也不長。
“贊福德·畢博布魯克斯，”他說，“我的名字叫扎尼烏普。我相信你想見我。”
贊福德·畢博布魯克斯頓時感到手足無措。他的兩張嘴傻瓜似的說着些什麼。他一屁股跌坐在一把椅子上。
“噢，老天！噢！老天，你是從哪兒冒出來的？”他說。
“我一直在這裏等你。”扎尼烏普用一種事務性的口吻說道。
他放下公文包，在另一把椅子上坐下來。
“我很高興你遵照了指示。”他說，”說老實話，我有點兒擔心你會從門離開我的辦公室，而不是從窗戶。那樣的話，你將碰上大麻煩。”
贊福德搖着他的兩個腦袋，發出嘟囔聲。
“當體踏進我辦公室的房門時，你也就進入了我的電子合成宇宙。”扎尼烏普解釋說，“如果你從門離開的話，你就將回到真實的宇宙中。這個人造的宇宙是從這兒開始工作的。”
說着，他得意地拍了拍他的公文包。
贊福德憤恨而厭惡地瞪着他。
“這又有什麼區別呢？”他喃喃地說。
“沒有，”扎尼烏普說，“它們完全相同。哦……除了一點，我想真實宇宙中的蛙星戰鬥艦是灰色的。”
“這到底是怎麼回事‘”贊福德冒出一句。
“簡單。”扎尼烏普說。他的自信和洋洋得意使贊福德感到非常惱火。
“很簡單。”他又重複了一遍，“我發現了那個人的座標——那個統治着宇宙的人，還發現他的世界被一個無概率場保護着。爲了保護我的祕密——還有我自己——我退回到這個完全人造的安全的宇宙中，躲在一艘已經被遺忘了的巡航班機上。我很安全。與此同時，你和我”
“你和我？”贊福德生氣地說，“你的意思是我認識你嘍？”
“是的，”扎尼烏普說，“我們相互之間非常瞭解。”
“我可沒這興趣，”說完，贊福德又恢復了悶悶不樂的沉默。

“與此同時，你和我一起策劃了這件事。你將去偷那艘非概率的世界的工具，然後把它帶到我這兒來。這件事，我相信你現在已經辦成了，祝賀你。”他一臉嚴肅地微微笑了笑。贊福德不由得想撿塊磚頭砸他。
“哦，萬一你感到納悶，”扎尼烏普補充道，“我可以告訴你，這個宇宙是爲了你的到來而專門創造的。因此，你是這個宇宙中最重要的人。如果是在真實宇宙的話，你永遠也不可能……”說着，他更討磚頭砸地笑了笑，“在絕對透視旋渦中倖存下來。我們能走了嗎？”
“去哪兒？”贊福德陰沉地問。他感到自己快要崩潰了。
“去你的飛船……‘黃金之心號’……你把它帶來了吧，我相信。”
“沒有。”