狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第53章Part1
'He did not say so?'
'No; he said nothing: but I saw that his glance rested on me for a moment, and I was prepared for what would happen - for what has happened. I am dismissed!'
She looked as little shocked and as hopeful as she could, but it was distressing news, for many reasons.
'"I need not tell you"' said John Carker, reading the letter, '"why your name would henceforth have an unnatural sound, in however remote a connexion with mine, or why the daily sight of anyone who bears it, would be unendurable to me. I have to notify the cessation of all engagements between us, from this date, and to request that no renewal of any communication with me, or my establishment, be ever attempted by you." - Enclosed is an equivalent in money to a generously long notice, and this is my discharge." Heaven knows, Harriet, it is a lenient and considerate one, when we remember all!'
'If it be lenient and considerate to punish you at all, John, for the misdeed of another,' she replied gently, 'yes.'
'We have been an ill-omened race to him,' said John Carker. 'He has reason to shrink from the sound of our name, and to think that there is something cursed and wicked in our blood. I should almost think it too, Harriet, but for you.'
'Brother, don't speak like this. If you have any special reason, as you say you have, and think you have - though I say, No!- to love me, spare me the hearing of such wild mad words!'
He covered his face with both his hands; but soon permitted her, coming near him, to take one in her own.
'After so many years, this parting is a melancholy thing, I know,' said his sister, 'and the cause of it is dreadful to us both. We have to live, too, and must look about us for the means. Well, well! We can do so, undismayed. It is our pride, not our trouble, to strive, John, and to strive together!'
A smile played on her lips, as she kissed his cheek, and entreated him to be of of good cheer.
'Oh, dearest sister! Tied, of your own noble will, to a ruined man! whose reputation is blighted; who has no friend himself, and has driven every friend of yours away!'
'John!' she laid her hand hastily upon his lips, 'for my sake! In remembrance of our long companionship!' He was silent 'Now, let me tell you, dear,' quietly sitting by his side, 'I have, as you have, expected this; and when I have been thinking of it, and fearing that it would happen, and preparing myself for it, as well as I could, I have resolved to tell you, if it should be so, that I have kept a secret from you, and that we have a friend.'
'What's our friend's name, Harriet?' he answered with a sorrowful smile.
'Indeed, I don't know, but he once made a very earnest protestation to me of his friendship and his wish to serve us: and to this day I believe 'him.'
'Harriet!' exclaimed her wondering brother, 'where does this friend live?'
'Neither do I know that,' she returned. 'But he knows us both, and our history - all our little history, John. That is the reason why, at his own suggestion, I have kept the secret of his coming, here, from you, lest his acquaintance with it should distress you.
'Here! Has he been here, Harriet?'
'Here, in this room. Once.'
'What kind of man?'
“董貝先生。當我在營業所裏的時候，他兩次走過那裏。在這之前，我能避免被他看見，但是當然不能希望以後長久都能這樣。我知道，在他看來，我在那裏是一樁討厭的事情，這是很自然的。我想，如果我處在他的地位的話，我自己也會那樣感覺的。”
“他這樣說了沒有？”
“沒有；他什麼也沒有說，但是我看到，他的眼光在我身上停留了一會兒；我當時對將會發生的事情（對現在已經發生了的事情）做好了準備。我已經被辭退了。”
她竭力掩飾她的震驚，裝出對未來懷有希望的樣子，但根據許多理由，這都是令人痛苦的消息。
“‘我不需要向您說明’”約翰?卡克念着信，”‘爲什麼從今以後我聽到您的姓會感到多麼刺耳，雖然它和我的姓毫無關係。我也不需要向您說明，爲什麼每天看到姓這個姓的人是我不能忍受的。我必須通知您，從今天起，我們之間的一切關係就此中斷，並請您切勿企圖恢復與我或我的公司之間的聯繫。’信裏裝了錢，大大超過這時辭退所應得到的數額。我就這樣被辭退了。說實在的，哈里特，如果我們回憶起過去一切情形的話，那麼我們應當承認，這是一次寬厚的、體諒到我們困難的辭退。”
“如果由於別人的惡劣行爲要對你進行懲罰也能說是寬厚的、體諒到我們困難的話，約翰，那麼我同意你的意見，”她溫柔地回答道。
“對他來說，我們是一個不吉利的家族，”約翰?卡克說道，”他一聽到我們的姓的就感到厭惡，並覺得在我們的血液裏有什麼該咀咒的和邪惡的東西，他有理由這樣想。要不是因爲你的話，我也幾乎要這樣想的呢，哈里特。”
“弟弟，別這樣講。如果像你所說和你所想的那樣，你有什麼特殊理由愛我的話（可是我卻要說，沒有這種特殊理由！）那麼就別讓我聽到這樣荒唐的、瘋狂的話吧！”
他用雙手捂住臉；但不久當她走近他的時候，他容許她把他的一隻手拉到她的手裏。
“我知道，在經過這麼多年之後，這次辭退是一件使人傷心的事情，”他的姐姐說道，”而它的原因對我們兩人來說都是可怕的。可是我們必須生活下去，並籌措我們的生活費用。那又有什麼了不起呢？我們能做到這一點。別灰心喪氣。奮鬥下去，約翰，我們一起奮鬥下去。我們對這應當感到自豪，而不應當感到苦惱。”
當她吻他的臉頰，請求他高興起來的時候，她的嘴脣上露出了一絲微笑。
“啊，最親愛的姐姐！由於你的高尚的意志，你把自己捆綁在一個身敗名裂的人的身上！他的聲譽掃地，自己沒有朋友，還把你所有的朋友也都趕跑了。”
“約翰！”她急忙用手捂住他的嘴，”看在我的份上，看在我們長久的姐弟情誼的分上，別這麼說！”他沉默了。”現在讓我來告訴你，親愛的，”她安靜地坐在他的身邊，”我跟你一樣，也預料到這一點；當我一直沒有想到這一點，擔心會發生這件事情，並儘量做好準備的時候，我決心當這件事情真正發生的時候就告訴你，我向你保守了一個祕密：我們有一位朋友。”
“我們的朋友叫什麼名字，哈里特？”他悲傷地微笑了一下，問道。
“我確實不知道他的名字，但是他有一次很懇切地向我表白了他的友誼和他願意爲我們幫忙的心願。我相信他，直到今天。”
“哈里特！”驚訝的弟弟高聲喊道，”這位朋友住在哪裏？”
“這我也不知道，”她回答道，”但是他知道我們兩人，知道我們的歷史--我們簡短歷史的全部情形，約翰。這就是爲什麼我根據他的建議，沒有把他到這裏來的這個祕密向你透露的緣故，因爲唯恐他知道你的歷史這一點會使你感到痛苦。”
“這裏！他到這裏來過，哈里特？”
“這裏，在這個房間裏。一次。”
“是個什麼樣的人？”
