經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第18章6

“And now,” cried Max from the centre of the stage, “the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” He flung his arms into the air. Behind him, the band went into a frenzy of percussion and rolling synthochords. Max had argued with them about this but they had claimed it was in their contract that that’s what they would do. His agent would have to sort it out.
“The skies begin to boil!” he cried. “Nature collapses into the screaming void! In twenty seconds’ time, the Universe itself will be at an end! See where the light of infinity bursts in upon us!”
The hideous fury of destruction blazed about them and at that moment a still small trumpet sounded as from an infinite distance. Max’s eyes swivelled round to glare at the band. None of them seemed to be playing a trumpet. Suddenly a wisp of smoke was swirling and shimmering on the stage next to him. The trumpet was joined by more trumpets. Over five hundred times Max had done this show, and nothing like this had ever happened before. He drew back in alarm from the swirling smoke, and as he did so, a figure slowly materialized inside, the figure of an ancient man, bearded, robed and wreathed in light. In his eyes were stars and on his brow a golden crown.
“What’s this?” whispered Max, wild-eyed, “what’s happening?”
At the back of the Restaurant the stony-faced party from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon leapt ecstatically to their feet chanting and crying.
Max blinked in amazement. He threw up his arms to the audience.
“A big hand please, ladies and gentlemen,” he hollered, “for the Great Prophet Zarquon! He has come! Zarquon has come again!”
Thunderous applause broke out as Max strode across the stage and handed his microphone to the Prophet.
Zarquon coughed. He peered round at the assembled gathering. The stars in his eyes blinked uneasily. He handled the microphone with confusion.
“Er…” he said, “hello. Er, look, I’m sorry I’m a bit late. I’ve had the most ghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment.”
He seemed nervous of the expectant awed hush. He cleared his throat.
“Er, how are we for time?” he said, “have I just got a min-“
And so the Universe ended.

“現在，”舞臺中央的馬克斯說，“你們所有人翹首以待的時刻終於來到了！”他朝空中揮動着手臂：在他身後，樂隊來了一陣狂暴的打擊樂。馬克斯曾經和他們爭論，讓他們這麼幹，但他們宣稱，這是合同裏要求他們做的事。看來得需要他的經紀人澄清這個問題。
“天空沸騰了！”他叫道，“宇宙坍塌進尖叫的虛空中！在二十秒之內，宇宙將迎來一次終結！看吧，那邊，無限之光正在我們上方爆發！”
毀滅的狂暴圍繞着他們——就在這時，一陣相當微弱的號角聲從仿怫是無限遠的地方傳米。馬克斯環視整個樂隊，似乎沒有人吹號。突然，一股煙霧盤旋閃爍着，浮現在舞臺上，就在他身旁號角聲更大了，好像參加吹奏的號角更多了。馬克斯主持這樣的表演已經不下五百次了，但此前從來沒有出現過類似情形。他警覺地從盤旋的煙霧中退出來。就在他這樣做的時候，一個人形慢慢地從煙霧中最現出來。這是一個古代人，滿臉虯髯，身着長袍，籠罩存光環中。星光在他眼中閃耀，他頭上戴着一頂金色的王冠。
“這是什麼？”馬克斯喃喃自語，瞪圓了眼睛，“發生了什麼事？”
餐館後部，來自“偉大先知扎昆的第二次降臨”教派的那夥人，原本面無表情，現在卻欣喜若狂地跳了起來，吟唱着頌歌，放聲尖叫着。
馬克斯驚訝地眨巴着眼睛，看着他們。然後，他朝觀衆猛地舉起手臂。
“請來陣熱烈的掌聲，女士們，先生們，”他大聲喊道，“爲了偉大的先知扎昆！他降臨了！扎昆再次降臨了！”
馬克斯大步跨過舞臺，將手裏的麥克風遞給這位先知。下面爆發出雷鳴般的掌聲。
扎昆咳嗽一聲。他環顧臺下聚集的人羣，他眼中的星光不安地閃爍着。他迷惑地擺弄着手裏的麥克風。
“嗯…”他說，“你們好。嗯，瞧，我很抱歉來遲了一點兒。我剛度過了一段簡直糟糕至極的時光，到了最後一刻，所有的事情都突然冒了出來。”
面對這種充滿了期待和敬畏的肅靜，他似乎有些緊張。他清了清嗓子。
“嗯，我們還有多少時間，”他說，“我能有一分……”
正在此時，宇宙終結了。