殘忍而美麗的情誼:The Kite Runner 追風箏的人(156)
Insanely, I wanted to go in. Wanted to walk up the front steps where Ali used to make Hassan and me take off our snow boots. I wanted to step into the foyer, smell the orange peel Ali always tossed into the stove to burn with sawdust. Sit at the kitchen table, have tea with a slice of _naan_, listen to Hassan sing old Hazara songs.
Another honk. I walked back to the Land Cruiser parked along the sidewalk. Farid sat smoking behind the wheel.
“I have to look at one more thing,” I told him.
“Can you hurry?”
“Give me ten minutes.”
“Go, then.” Then, just as I was turning to go: “Just forget it all. Makes it easier.”
“To what?”
“To go on,” Farid said. He flicked his cigarette out of the window. “How much more do you need to see? Let me save you the trouble: Nothing that you remember has survived. Best to forget.”
“I don’t want to forget anymore,” I said. “Give me ten minutes.”WE HARDLY BROKE A SWEAT, Hassan and I, when we hiked up the hill just north of Baba’s house. We scampered about the hilltop chasing each other or sat on a sloped ridge where there was a good view of the airport in the distance. We’d watch airplanes take off and land. Go running again.
Now, by the time I reached the top of the craggy hill, each ragged breath felt like inhaling fire. Sweat trickled down my face. I stood wheezing for a while, a stitch in my side. Then I went looking for the abandoned cemetery. It didn’t take me long to find it. It was still there, and so was the old pomegranate tree.
發瘋似的，我想進去。想踏上前門的臺階，過去阿里經常在那兒，要我和哈桑脫掉雪靴。我想走進門廊，聞聞橙皮的香味，阿里總是將它們扔到爐裏，跟鋸屑一起燃燒。我想坐在廚房的桌子邊，喝茶，吃一片饢餅，聽哈桑唱古老的哈扎拉歌謠。
又是一聲喇叭。我走回停在路邊的陸地巡洋艦。法裏德在車裏吸菸。
“我得再去看一件東西。”我跟他說。
“你能快點嗎？”
“給我十分鐘。”
“那麼，去吧。”接着，我正要轉身離開，“都忘了吧，讓它容易一些。”
“讓什麼容易一些？”
“活下去。”法裏德說，他將菸蒂彈出車窗，“你還要看多少東西？讓我替你省下麻煩吧。你記得的東西，沒有一件存下來。最好都忘了。”
“我不想再遺忘了，”我說，“等我十分鐘。”當我們爬上爸爸房子北邊那座山的時候，我們，我和哈桑，幾乎一點汗都沒出。我們在山頂奔走嬉鬧，彼此追逐，或者坐在傾斜的山脊上，在那兒可以將遠處的機場盡收眼底。我們看着飛機起降，又嬉鬧起來。
如今，當我爬上崎嶇的山頂，氣息粗重，彷彿要噴出火來，臉上汗水直流。我站着喘了好一會，身子一陣刺痛。然後我去看那廢棄的墓園，沒費多少時間就找到了，它仍在那兒，那株蒼老的石榴樹也在。
