Amir jan, I know how hard your father was on you when you were growing up. I saw how you suffered and yearned for his affections, and my heart bled for you. But your father was a man torn between two halves, Amir jan:you and Hassan. He loved you both, but he could not love Hassan the way he longed to, openly, and as a father. So he took it out on you instead--Amir, the socially legitimate half, the half that represented the riches he had inherited and the sin-with-impunity privileges that came with them. When he saw you, he saw himself. And his guilt. You are still angry and I realize it is far too early to expect you to accept this, but maybe someday you will see that when your father was hard on you, he was also being hard on himself. Your father, like you, was a tortured soul, Amir jan. I cannot describe to you the depth and blackness of the sorrow that came over me when I learned of his passing. I loved him because he was my friend, but also because he was a good man, maybe even a great man. And this is what I want you to understand, that good, real good, was born out of your father’s remorse. Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good.I know that in the end, God will forgive. He will forgive your father, me, and you too. I hope you can do the same. Forgive your father if you can. Forgive me if you wish. But, most important, forgive yourself.I have left you some money, most of what I have left, in fact. I think you may have some expenses when you return here, and the money should be enough to cover them. There is a bank in Peshawar; Farid knows the location. The money is in a safe-deposit box. I have given you the key. As for me, it is time to go. I have little time left and I wish to spend it alone. Please do not look for me. That is my final request of you. I leave you in the hands of God. Your friend always, Rahim 親愛的阿米爾，我深知在你成長過程中，你父親對你有多麼嚴厲。我知道你有多麼痛苦，多麼渴望得到他的寵愛，而我爲你感到心痛。但你父親是一個被拉扯成兩半的男人，親愛的阿米爾：被你和哈桑。他愛你們兩個，但他不能公開表露對哈桑的愛，以盡人父之責。所以他將怨氣發泄在你身上——你恰好相反，阿米爾，你是社會承認的一半，他所繼承的財富，以及隨之而來的犯罪免受刑罰的特權，統統都會再贈給你。當他看到你，他看到自己，還有他的疚恨。你現在依然憤憤不平，而我明白，要你接受這些爲時尚早。但也許有朝一日，你會明白，你父親對你嚴厲，也是對自己嚴厲。你父親跟你一樣，也是個痛苦的人，親愛的阿米爾。 我無法向你形容，在聽到你父親的死訊之後，我心裏的悲慟有多麼深。我愛他。因爲他是我的朋友，但也因爲他是個好人，也許甚至是個了不起的人。而我想讓你明白的是，你父親的深切自責帶來了善行，真正的善行。我想起他所做的一切，施捨街頭上的窮人，建了那座恤孤院，把錢給有需要的朋友，這些統統是他自我救贖的方式。而我認爲。親愛的阿米爾，當罪行導致善行，那就是真正的獲救。我知道到頭來，真主會寬恕。他會寬恕你父親，寬恕我，還有你。我希望你也一樣。如果你可以的話，寬恕你父親。如果你願意的話，寬恕我。但，最重要的是，寬恕你自己。我給你留下一些錢，實際上，我所能留下的，也無非就是這些了。我想你若回到這兒，興許會有些開銷，而那些錢足夠讓你用的了。白沙瓦有個銀行，法裏德知道在哪裏。錢存在保險箱裏面，我給你留了鑰匙。 至於我，是該走的時候了。我來日無多，而我希望獨自度過。請別找我。這是我最後的請求。 我將你交在真主手中。 你永遠的朋友 拉辛
