雙語暢銷書《艾倫圖靈傳》第3章:思考什麼是思考(12)

Running suited him, for it was a self-sufficient exercise, without equipment or social connotations. It was not that he had sprinting speed, nor indeed much grace, for he was rather flat-footed, but he developed great staying power by forcing himself on. It was not important to Sherborne, where what mattered was that (to Peter Hogg's surprise) he became a 'useful forward' in the house team. But it was noticed with admiration by Knoop, and it was certainly important to Alan himself: He was not the first intellectual to impose this kind of physical training upon himself, and to derive lasting satisfaction from proving his stamina in running, walking, cycling, climbing, and enduring the elements. It was part of his 'back to nature' yearnings. But necessarily there were other elements involved; he perceived tiring himself out by running as an alternative to masturbation. It would probably be hard to overestimate the importance to his life of the conflicts surrounding his sexuality from this time onwards – both in controlling the demands of his body, and in a growing consciousness of emotional identity.

跑步很適合他，因爲這是一種自給自足的運動，不需要設備，也不需要社會支持。他跑得並不是很快，也不是很好看（因爲他扁平足），但他強迫自己，培養了很好的耐力。這對舍爾伯尼不重要，重要的是他在學院代表隊裏，成了其中的骨幹，這使彼得·霍格很驚喜，並贏得了克努普的欽佩。他不是第一個強迫自己進行身體鍛鍊的學者，他要證明自己在跑步、走路、騎車和爬山方面的耐力，一方面是他很渴望迴歸自然，但還有一個更重要的原因：他通過跑步達到體力透支，以此來取代手淫。從此以後，他感到身體的性傾向引起的衝突並不那麼嚴重了──無論是在生理上，還是在心理上。

In December it was the same arrival at Waterloo, on the way to Cambridge, but no trip to Mrs Morcom's studio. Instead his mother and John (now an articled clerk in the City) were there to meet him, and Alan said he would go and see Howard Hughes' aerial film Hell's Angels. At Cambridge he failed again to win a Trinity scholarship. But his greater confidence was not entirely misplaced, for he was elected to a scholarship at the college of his second choice, King's. He was placed eighth in order of the Major Scholars, with ￡80 per annum.*

十二月，在去劍橋的路上，他去了滑鐵盧，沒有去默卡夫人的畫室。他母親和約翰去那兒看他，艾倫說他要去看霍華德·霍奇的露天電影《地獄天使》。在劍橋，他沒有得到三一學院的獎學金。但他並沒有來錯地方，因爲他的第二志願滿足了，他得到了國王學院的獎學金。他在專業獎學金獲得者中排名第八，每年80英鎊注。

Everyone congratulated him. But he had set himself to do something, something that Christopher had been 'called away from'. For a person with a mathematical mind, an ability to deal with very abstract relations and symbols as though with tangible everyday objects, a King's scholarship was a demonstration like sight-reading a sonata or repairing a car – clever and satisfying, but no more. Many had won better scholarships, and at an earlier age. More to the point than the word 'brilliant' which now came to schoolmasters' lips was the couplet that Peter Hogg sang at the house supper:

大家都來祝賀他。但他卻想要做點什麼，他想做的，就是克里斯朵夫“被召喚走”的時候要做的事。對於一個能把抽象的關係和符號，看成有形的日常對象的人來說，贏得國王學院的獎學金就像彈琴或修車──看起來很聰明，令人愉快，但別無其它。很多人在年輕時都能獲得很高的獎學金。相比於校長的一句輕描淡寫的“很好”，彼得·霍格在學院晚宴時做出的評價更有意義，他說：

Our Mathematician comes next in our lines

我們當中的下一位數學家

With his mind deep in Einstein – and study light fines.

對愛因斯坦有很深的研究

For he had thought deeply about Einstein and had broken the rules to do so.

卻不遵守愛因斯坦的規則