心靈雞湯:用微笑來面對煩惱

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

我正在進行我的“快樂項目”，你也應該有一個！每個人的項目看上去都不同，但是絕大多數人都會從中受益——不需要努力趕超，只要立刻參與。

Everyone says, and it's true, that one of the most effective ways to handle negative emotions is to lighten up. If things are sad, try to find a reason to laugh. If you're angry, joke around. Easier said than done, however.

大家都知道，處理消極情緒最有效方式之一是“放輕鬆”。如果你悲傷，找一個大笑的理由。如果你生氣，去開個玩笑。不過，做比說要難。

I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital negotiations last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing with my daughter's adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist's office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he'd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!

上週，我有一個機會得以運用“一笑了之”。 按照去年的家庭協議（我得承認，這協議並不是在一片祥和的氣氛中籤訂的），我丈夫負責女兒牙齒矯正術的事項。牙齒校正醫生的辦公室就在他的辦公室拐角，丈夫同意由他安排時間帶她去。這真太棒了!

On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she's eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn't call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically, but nothing happened.

在我們去堪薩斯度假的航班上，我千金把她的“設備”（就是她嘴裏戴的新鮮玩意，吃東西時得取下來）弄丟了。我們在飛機上四處找遍了還是沒有。一週後我們回到家，大男人沒有打牙醫電話預約。時間一天天過去。我隔一段時間就提醒他，但是他無動於衷。

Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she's growing now, what's the point, it's expensive, she'll only have to have braces longer, you promised you'd do it, " etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."

一想起他的拖拉，我就十分惱怒。昨晚，我跺着腳進臥室，準備大發雷霆。“這真的很要緊，很重要，她正在發育，而且，那很貴，她只得再等下去，而你答應過會去做。”等等，等等。可又一想，乾脆“一笑了之”。

So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don't call the orthodontist's tomorrow, I'm going to be furious, I'm going to be enraged, I'm going to be beside myself. I'm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.

於是我走過去，用手臂摟着他，溫柔地說：“你知道嗎？如果你明天還不給校正牙醫打電話。我會很生氣。我會發怒，我不知道會做出什麼事情。我可沒威脅你，只是給你一個公正的警告”。我邊說還一邊笑。

"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I'll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.

他搖了搖頭說：“知道，知道啦！我現在就給自己發一封郵件。” 他還真發了。今天他約好了醫生。

I'm not sure if making a joke of it was more effective than getting angry, but I don't think it was less effective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.

我不確定說笑會不會比憤怒更奏效，但是我相信效果不會更差。而且比讓人不愉快的交流方式好得多。我對這個方法更滿意；大男人也一樣。

I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I'm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It's going to be the 'Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks'! Like the 'Rodents of Unusual Size, ' in The Princess Bride." As I groaned to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine's cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle those tasks.

上週末我對自己採用了相同的方法。我有一堆煩人無聊的事情要做。我對自己說：“我明後兩天把這些雜活都做掉。這將是‘恐怖任務周’！就好像The Princess Bride書中的‘超大型齧齒動物’”。我一邊自個兒抱怨一邊把節日飾物放好、整理情人節卡片的地址、最後處理不在家時收到的郵件，等等，其他的事情我都懶得再提。我反覆告訴自己：“好吧，這是恐怖任務周。” 就這樣，給自己編一個笑話，事情便更容易處理了。

Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren't funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.

當然，我承認，在遵守“一笑了之”的決意中，我並不覺得有趣。我的笑話一點也不好笑。但採用一個幽默的態度卻能讓情況有很大改觀。

It's easy to say "make a joke of it, " but it's hard to do when you're feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?

說“一笑了之”容易，但是當你感到憤怒、害怕、無聊或煩心的時候要做到很難。你找到了一個讓自己開玩笑的方法嗎？