失戀有那麼痛苦嗎？
Advice to the lovelorn: you will survive
Is breaking up so hard to do?
Despitethe laments of pining pop stars and poets, U.S. researchers now think breaking up may not be so hard to do.
"We underestimate our ability to survive heartbreak," said Eli Finkel, an assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern University, whose study appears online in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Finkel and colleague Paul Eastwick studied young lovers -- especially those who profess ardent affection -- to see if their predictions of devastation matched their actual angst when that love was lost.
"On average, people overestimate how distressed they will be following a breakup," Finkel said in a telephone interview.
The nine-month study involved college students who had been dating at least two months who filled out questionnaires every two weeks. They gathered data from 26 people -- 10 women and 16 men -- who broke up with their partners during the first six months of the study.
The participants' forecasts of distress two weeks before the breakup were compared to their actual experience as recorded over four different periods of time.
Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said.
"At the end of the day it, it is just less bad than you thought."
儘管流行歌手和詩人總把失戀說的很痛苦，但近日，美國研究人員稱，分手可能沒那麼難。
西北大學的心理學副教授埃裏•芬克爾說：“我們低估了自己承受失戀痛苦的能力。”該研究結果在《實驗社會心理學期刊》的網站上公佈。
芬克爾與同事鮑爾•伊斯特威克對年輕情侶，尤其是那些自稱愛得很深的情侶進行了調查，以確定他們對失戀後痛苦程度的預測與實際情況是否相符。
芬克爾在接受一個電話採訪時說：“平均來看，人們高估了自己失戀後的痛苦。”
該項研究歷時九個月，調查對象是談戀愛至少有兩個月的大學生，他們每兩週填寫一次調查問卷。研究人員收集了26個調查對象的資料——10名女性、16名男性，他們都在調查期間的頭六個月內就與戀人分手了。
研究人員將調查對象在分手前兩週對痛苦程度的預測與他們分手後四個不同階段的實際情況進行了對比。
不出意料，研究人員發現，愛得越深的人越難承受分手。
芬克爾說：“愛得較深的人在分手後確實要更痛苦一些，但他們對自己痛苦的預期與實際情況相比，卻被大大高估了。”
“總之，分手沒你想象的那麼痛苦。”
at the end of the day :when all is taken into consideration（指把一切都考慮進去之後）
