不愛了 口難開 網上分手成潮流
導讀：社交網站(Social Network Site)的流行爲戀人們提供了一個增進感情的平臺，無論相隔多遠，戀人們都可以輕鬆掌握對方的最新動態，增進彼此的感情。與此同時，它們自然也成了戀人們分手的一大途徑。當感情漸漸淡去，爲了避免當面說分手的尷尬，越來越多的年輕人開始嘗試網上分手。
張海峯（音譯），蘭州大學19歲的醫科學生，與女朋友分手時有個怪癖。
ZHANG Haifeng, a 19-year-old medical student at Lanzhou University, has an odd habit when it comes to breaking up with his girlfriends.
他喜歡通過互聯網說分手。他曾通過郵件和一個女孩分手。後來的一個女朋友則是通過QQ說分手的。
He does it via the Internet. Once, he broke up with a girl by e-mail. With his next girlfriend, he broke up by QQ messaging.
他的開場白通常是“我想和你說件事”，然後就開始解釋他們其實並不合適。最後，他會向那些女孩道歉，並祝她們好運。
He always began the message with, "I have to tell you something", and then explained that they weren't compatible. He apologized to the girls at the end of his message, and he wished them good luck.
“如果想和對方分手，我覺得宜早不宜晚。當面說分手的話，你不得不對她們的反應做好應對措施--痛哭、爭吵、商量或者乞求。”張海峯說。“但如果是通過郵件、QQ等方式，我就可以直接了當地說分手。她們收到消息時通常是在家或者自己一個人，因此可以毫無顧忌地宣泄自己的情緒。”
"If I want to break up with someone, I think it is best done sooner rather than later you face them, you must prepare for their reactions -crying, arguing, bargaining or begging," Zhang said. "But when I send an e-mail, or leave a message on QQ, I can just tell things directly and clearly. When they receive the message, they are always at home and in private, so they will feel safe enough to respond emotionally."
近來，像張海峯這樣想通過其他媒介說分手的人越來越多了。熱門電視劇《慾望都市》的粉絲們可能記得，凱莉·布蘭肖的一個男友就曾通過便利貼說分手。
Zhang's desire for a "medium" for breaking up may be universal these days. Followers of the hit US TV series Sex and the City may remember that one of Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriends broke up with her via a Post-it note.
他在一張黃色正方形的便利貼上草草寫道：“對不起，我不能和你在一起了。別恨我。”
The man scribbled on a sticky square of yellow paper: "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me."
對該劇的粉絲們來說，這樣的舉動看似殘酷、孩子氣。但在7年後的今天，此舉卻顯得如此過時。
It may have seemed cruel and childish to fans of the TV drama, but seven years later, it just seems so old-fashioned.
據美國《新聞週刊》雜誌報道，便利貼分手已經屬於一個遙遠的時代--一個Facebook、短信誕生前的時代。
According to a story on the US magazine Newsweek, the Post-it breakup now belongs to an ancient era - the pre-Facebook, pre-texting times.
在09年的電影《你其實不懂他的心》中，現代的分手時尚得到了充分詮釋。劇中，女演員德魯·巴里摩爾說：“我上班時收到他的語音留言，所以回到家後給他回電話。接着他發郵件到我的黑莓，我就給他發了短信。如今，我不得不檢查所有可能的通訊渠道，到頭來只發現被七種高科技拒絕了七次。真是累死我了。”
In a more contemporary depiction of break-up fashion, US actress Drew Barrymore says in the 2009 film He's Just Not That Into You: "I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies…It's exhausting."
《新聞週刊》援引了美國印第安納大學傳播與文化學院助理教授伊蘭娜·格爾森的作品，後者曾問自己的學生“怎樣分手比較糟糕”。從學生們的反饋來看，相比分手時收到的信息，那些媒介更讓他們憤怒。他們埋怨對方通過短信、Facebook等社交網站而非本人當面提分手。
Newsweek cited the work of Ilana Gershon, an assistant professor of communication and culture at Indiana University in the US, who once asked her students what makes a bad breakup. According to Gershon, her students all responded with tales of outrage about the medium rather than the message, complaining that they got the bad news by text or by social networking sites like Facebook, rather than in person.
受該調查啓發，格爾森教授決定深入研究這些新技術是如何改變愛情規則的。在她的新書《分手2.0:通過新媒體切斷聯繫》中，格爾森寫道，受訪的所有人幾乎都認爲當面分手是最體面的分手方式，但由於這種面對面的分手不能讓他們達到目的，很多人都轉而藉助新媒體。
Inspired by this finding, Gershon decided to study how new technology has changed the rules of romance. In her new book, The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New media, Gershon wrote that almost all the people she talked to agreed that the most honorable way to break up was in person, but many turned to new media because the face-to-face conversations didn't get the results they wanted.
據格爾森講，現如今，社交網站在年輕人的戀情中至關重要。她採訪的一些人稱在Facebook上公佈分手消息纔算真正的分手。其他人通過手機短信分手。
Social networking sites play a significant and public role in young people's romances these days, according to Gershon. Some people she interviewed will claim that a breakup isn't official until it is "Facebook official". Others broke up over cell phone texting.
格爾森採訪的很多人都很嚮往以前那種基於現實生活而非虛擬網絡聯繫的戀愛關係，比如：戴着男友的大學聯誼會會徽或穿着他所在大學的外套。
Many of the people Gershon interviewed expressed a fond feeling for the "old days" when relationships were marked by real rather than virtual symbols of connection, like wearing a boyfriend's fraternity pin or his varsity jacket.
另據格爾森透露，無論是淚流滿面的當面說分手還是短信說分手，分手總是一件難事。她在接受《新聞週刊》採訪時說：“現在唯一的不同就是，我們可能有50種方式說分手。但這些方法都一樣傷人。”
According to Gershon, a breakup has always been hard to do-whether it involves a tearful face-to-face confrontation or a short text message. "The only difference now," she told the magazine, "is that we might actually have 50 ways to leave a lover, and they all hurt."
