找到一位戀人將失去兩位好友 魚與熊掌不可兼得?
Ever found yourself dumped by a friend embarking on a romance? Don't worry, you're probably not the only one. For according to Oxford University scientists, every time we start a relationship we jettison two of our closest friends。
Most of us simply don't have enough time for intimate friendships with more than four or five people, their research shows。
And a new love interest leads to two friends being pushed out of the inner circle。
professor Robin Dunbar, one of Britain's leading experts in evolutionary biology, explained: 'If you go into a romantic relationship it actually costs you two friends in that inner core of relationships。
'Instead of having the typical five friends, they only have four in that inner circle. And bearing in mind that one of those is the new person that has come into your life, it means you have to give up two others.'
Men tend to have four or five intimate friends, women five or six, he said。
However, men were just as likely to jettison friends at the start of a new romantic attachment as women, found the study of those aged 18 to 60.
'Your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partners, you just don't get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before,' the professor told the British Science Festival in Birmingham. 'Those relationships start to deteriorate.'
But it's not just romance that can push out close friends, he explained. Children or buying a dog can have the same effect。
'You can only have five slots for deeply intense and meaningful relations. Those individuals don't have to be human. They can be your dog - or your favourite chrysanthemum plant. They can be people in an entirely fictional world - they can be soap opera characters. They can be God or they can be saints.'
你是否曾發現自己在開始一段戀情的時候被朋友拋棄？不必擔心，你很可能不是唯一一個遭遇這種事情的人。因爲按照牛津大學科學家的說法，我們每開始一段感情，就會拋棄兩位最親密的朋友。
他們的研究顯示，我們當中的大多數人根本沒有足夠的時間和四五個以上的人保持親密的友誼關係。
而且，對新戀人的關注會使兩位朋友被疏遠。
英國進化生物學權威專家之一羅賓•鄧巴教授解釋說：“如果你投入到一段戀情中，你就會失去情感圈內的兩位朋友。”
“在那個圈內，你擁有的不再是往常的五位朋友，而是四位。同時記住，其中一位是剛走進你生活的新成員，這意味着你必須放棄另外兩個。”
他說，男性一般有四到五個好友，而女性有五到六個好友。
儘管如此，該研究發現，同女性一樣，在一段新戀情開始之際，男性也會拋棄一些朋友。該研究涵蓋了年齡從18歲到60歲的人羣。
鄧巴教授在伯明翰的英國科學節上講道：“你的注意力完全集中到戀人身上，而忽視了之前跟你關係很密切的其他人，於是這些關係就開始疏遠。”
他解釋說，不過，並非只有戀情會將好友擠出圈外。孩子或新買的寵物狗也會如此。
“你只有五個位置來安放深厚、強烈而又重要的感情關係。這些個體不一定非得是人，他們可以是你的小狗，或是你最喜愛的菊花。他們可以是純虛構的世界裏的人，可以是肥皂劇裏的人物。他們也可以是上帝或聖人。”
重點單詞查看全部解釋soap[səup]想一想再看
n. 肥皂
vt. 用肥皂洗，阿諛奉承
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adj. 進化的，發展的，演變的
tend[tend]想一想再看
v. 趨向，易於，照料，護理
opera['ɔpərə]想一想再看
n. 歌劇
n. 挪威Opera軟件公司的瀏覽
a和o結尾的都是藝術單詞，源於意大利 intimate['intimeit,'intimit]
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adj. 親密的，私人的，祕密的
n. 密友<
inti裏面，mate（n 配偶vt 使配對vi 成配偶）－親密的由於密友之間有默契，所以經常有暗示的舉動－暗示 typical['tipikəl]
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adj. 典型的，有代表性的，特有的，獨特的
circle['sə:kl]想一想再看
n. 圈子，圓周，循環
v. 環繞，盤旋，包圍
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adj. 浪漫的
n. 浪漫的人
roman浪漫+tic表形容詞，通常放在一個名詞前，“與…相關的，…的”→浪漫的 chrysanthemum[kri'sænθəməm]
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n. 菊，菊花
聯想記憶X單詞chrysanthemum聯想記憶：chrys黃色+anthem花+um→菊花 intense[in'tens]
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adj. 強烈的，劇烈的，熱烈的
聯想記憶X單詞intense聯想記憶：in 不+tense伸展→拉到了不能在拉的地方→緊張的，強烈的
