分手請給個理由先 Dating nightmares

What is the biggest deal breaker for you in a romantic Relationship? Below average looks? A weird accent? Or a lack of commitment? A new study reveals that the top deal breakers are “disheveled or unclean” looks, followed by personalities that are “lazy” and “too needy”, according to a Wall Street Journal column.

對你來說，結束一段親密關係的最主要原因是什麼？顏值太低，口音很怪，還是缺少承諾？據《華爾街日報》某專欄的最新調查顯示，最常見的分手原因是外表“邋遢”，緊隨其後的是“懶癌”和“粘人”。

It’s not bad news for those who want to maintain a long-term relationship.

對於想要維持長期關係的情侶來說，這並非壞消息。

Poor hygiene can be easily dealt with. Just pay a bit more attention to your personal grooming routines. To cure laziness and neediness, on the other hand, is more difficult. It might require a complete lifestyle overhaul or a change in personality.

不講衛生是很容易解決的，只要在個人日常洗漱上稍加註意就行了。而治療“懶癌”和“粘人”就難得多，因爲這可能需要對生活習慣進行大刀闊斧的調整或個人性格的改變。

Unfortunately, as the saying goes, a leopard cannot change his spots. Many deal breakers listed by the study support this cliché –you cannot change them easily.

悲催的是，常言道：江山易改，本性難移。這項研究列出的許多分手原因都印證了這句話——人很難改變。

The study was published in October in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, under the title “Relationship deal breakers: Traits people avoid in potential mates”.

十月份出版的《人格與社會心理學學報》上刊登了這項研究，標題爲《分手的原因：這些特徵讓人們對潛在伴侶避之不及》。

By collecting and analyzing survey results from more than 5,500 single people between the ages of 21 and 76, researchers identified what turns people off in a relationship, and how picky they are.

研究者們在收集並分析了5500多位年齡在21歲到76歲之間的單身人士之後，發現了導致人們分手的主要原因，並確認他們真的很吹毛求疵。

The study found that women are pickier than men. They listed more negative traits that would kill their interest in potential partners.

研究顯示，女性比男性更挑剔。她們列出的潛在伴侶的負面特徵更多，這些特徵會導致她們不願意和對方繼續交往。

The study claims there’s a biological reason for women to be more selective. It’s women who get pregnant, so it’s important for them to be picky and choose a mate who is responsible and capable of helping them raise children.

研究稱女性選擇伴侶更挑剔是由生理原因造成的。女人要懷孕生子，因此她們要選擇一位有責任心，並能幫忙撫養孩子的人，這時挑剔就顯得尤爲重要。

While men listed fewer deal breakers, theirs were just as distinctive. They are more likely to cite “having kids”, “living far away”, and “low sex drive” as deal breakers, thus showing a tendency toward a lack of commitment. According to the study, these characteristics “may reflect men’s greater concerns about resource investment in partners (and their families) and men’s somewhat higher interest in casual sex”.

雖然男性列出的分手原因很少，卻很奇葩。男人們很可能會將 “有孩子”、“住得遠”、“性冷淡”等列爲分手原因。該研究還表明，這些特徵反應了男人更關注對伴侶及其家庭的資源投入，某種程度上也說明男人可能對“一夜情”更感興趣。

The study also found that people have different expectations for long-term and short-term relationships.

研究的另一項發現是，人們對長期和短期戀愛的期望值不同。

In long-term partners, the top deal breakers were “anger issues”, “is currently dating multiple partners” and “person is untrustworthy”. Among short-term partners, the deal breakers were “has health issues,” “smells bad” and “has poor hygiene”, according to results listed in The Wall Street Journal.

在長期戀愛中，最常見的分手原因是“爭吵”、“腳踏幾條船”和“喪失信任”。而《華爾街日報》列出的短期戀愛的分手原因則包括“健康問題”、“體臭”、以及“不講衛生”等。

But just because certain deal breakers are common doesn’t mean they’re always justified. Sometimes deal breakers say more about your own prejudices than your partner’s flaws.

但就分手原因而言，常見並不代表它們就合理。有時，分手原因並非對方的缺點，而是自己的偏見問題。

For example, if you consider “sweaty hands” or “ugly toes” as deal breakers, then perhaps you are way too picky. The Wall Street Journal suggests asking your close friends if your deal breakers are ridiculous. Their advice will help you become more objective.

例如，如果你分手的原因是“汗手”或是“難看的腳趾”，那麼，你可能太挑剔了。《華爾街日報》建議大家諮詢一下自己的好友，看看他們是否認爲你的分手的理由太荒謬。這些建議能幫助我們變得更加客觀公正。