26歲時 一場意外的中風改變了我

As an idealistic, knowledge-hungry college graduate and aspiring writer, I had grown tired of hopping from one office gig to the next.

作爲一個理想主義的、渴望知識的大學畢業生和志向遠大的作家，我厭倦了從一個辦公室職位跳到另一個。

It was 2000 and technology was in full bloom.

當時是2000年，科技正在蓬勃發展。

I wanted to cash in on the digital gold rush.

我也想在數字淘金熱中撈一筆。

Like many of my friends in Austin, Tex., I figured, why not join the internet economy?

與我在德克薩斯州奧斯汀的很多朋友一樣，我在想：爲什麼不加入互聯網經濟呢？

I answered an ad for a job at a venture-backed start-up company with a focus on education.

我看到廣告，應聘了一家拿到風投的教育初創公司的一個職位。

More than just offering stock options, the job promised a creative launching pad that I would have been foolish to ignore.

除了提供股票期權，這份工作還承諾提供一個創造性發展平臺——除非我傻，否則不可能忽略這一點。

After interviewing for the position, I happily accepted the company’s offer.

面試之後，我愉快地接受了這家公司的工作機會。

Each day at the company was a sensory experience filled with color — the office was painted in 17 of them — fragrant candles, brain games and yoga balls.

在公司的每一天都是充滿色彩的感官體驗——辦公室塗了17種顏色——還有香薰蠟燭、智力遊戲和瑜伽球。

Each week pulled me into stimulating projects, problems to solve, new technology and, best of all, interaction with a team of talented, intelligent and dedicated co-workers.

每一週我都進入令人興奮的項目，解決問題，開發新技術，最棒的是與一羣才華橫溢、聰明敬業的同事互動。

My ambition swelled.

我的抱負越來越大。

I hustled my way up the chain of command and managed to survive layoffs.

我迅速獲得提升，在裁員浪潮中存活了下來。

In a matter of months, I found myself leading development and marketing for a team of designers, programmers, producers, subject matter experts, sales staff and writers.

數月之後，我發現自己領導着一個研發和市場推廣團隊，成員中有設計師、程序員、製作人、行業專家、銷售人員和撰稿人。

I would easily clock 70 hours of work a week — more if we were on a deadline.

我經常一週工作70個小時——如果趕工期的話，工時會更長。

I was often the first in the office and the last to leave.

我經常是辦公室第一個到，最後一個走的。

But I was more than happy to give my job my all.

但我很高興把自己完全奉獻給工作。

To keep up the pace, I put myself through a series of self-imposed tortures that included overcaffeinating and taking catnaps in place of real sleep.

爲了趕進度，我把自己投入到一系列自我折磨中，包括喝很多咖啡、用打盹代替真正的睡眠。

I was 26 and felt invincible.

當時我26歲，覺得自己不可戰勝。

I figured I could handle the pressure, so I ignored repeated headaches, blurred vision and general exhaustion.

我覺得自己可以承受這樣的壓力，所以不理會反覆出現的頭疼、視力模糊和疲倦。

Early one summer morning in 2001, I arrived at the office and felt a slight buzzing in my right eye and some tingly numbness in my hands, which I dismissed as mere morning grogginess.

2001年夏天的一個上午，我到達辦公室，覺得右眼嗡了一下，雙手出現刺痛麻麻的感覺，我以爲這只是早上犯迷糊而已。

A little later, I stood up to make a presentation at a team meeting.

過了一會兒，在團隊會議上，我站起來講話。

A colleague later told me she saw my mouth droop as my words started slurring.

一個同事後來跟我說，她看見我嘴歪了，說話吐字不清。

The next thing I knew, someone was saying: You’ve had a stroke.

之後我所知道的就是，有人對我說：你中風了。

We have to run a scan to figure out what’s going on.

我們必須做個掃描，看看出了什麼問題。

Do you understand?

你明白嗎？

I was in my 20s, and my brain was damaged.

那時我才20多歲，大腦已經受到了損傷。

I couldn’t articulate my thoughts to the doctor or nurses.

我無法把自己的想法清楚地表達給醫生或護士。

While the words were there and I clearly saw them in my mind, I couldn’t connect them to speech.

那些話就在那兒，我清楚地看見它們在我腦子裏，但就是無法把它們連成語言。

My hands were still tingling, and I was unable to sign my name after my brain scan, because I couldn’t remember how to spell it.

我的手仍有麻刺感。腦部掃描後，我連簽名都困難，因爲我不記得怎麼拼寫了。

When I was discharged from the hospital late the next day, the cabdriver asked me, Where do I take you? I couldn’t remember the name of my street.

第二天晚些時候，我出院了。出租車司機問我，你去哪兒？我根本想不起來自己住在哪條街。

I handed him the discharge paperwork with my address on it, arrived home and slept for a long while.

我把出院文件遞給他，上面有我的地址。到家後，我睡了很長時間。

Being so young, I had not even considered that having a stroke was a possibility.

當時我還那麼年輕，從沒想過自己會中風。

But I have since learned that they are on the rise among younger people.

不過後來得知，中風在年輕人中的發病率在上升。

My doctor did not directly link my stroke to overwork, but said it could have been aggravated by stress, overexertion and exhaustion.

醫生並沒有說勞累過度是我中風的直接原因，但是他說，壓力、過勞或疲憊可能加重了病情。

After being released from the hospital, I felt helpless and humiliated over my loss of control.

出院後，我對失去控制感到無助和丟臉。

My aura of invincibility had shattered.

我不可戰勝的光環破碎了。

But I slowly recovered.

但是我慢慢開始恢復。

Every night, I’d practice spelling polysyllabic words, like arachnophobia and Czechoslovakia, backward; I’d do complex math problems; I worked on relearning memories that had been disrupted.

每天晚上，我練習拼寫長單詞，比如arachnophobia（蜘蛛恐懼症）和Czechoslovakia（捷克斯洛伐克）；做複雜的數學題；重新學習遭到破壞的記憶力。

I practiced yoga and meditation.

我做瑜伽和冥想。

The more I accepted my imperfect mind, the more I settled into a place of contentment.

我越接受自己不完美的大腦，越能獲得滿足感。

Thanks to the support of my colleagues, I returned to work, but by necessity my frenetic daily sprint had to slow to a crawl.

多虧同事們的支持，我重返工作崗位，不過不可避免的，我每天瘋狂的衝刺變成了爬行。

Now I made time for pauses and reflection — and my work, and my life, became richer as a result.

現在，我抽出時間停歇和思考——結果，我的工作和生活變得更爲豐富了。

Because of the stroke, I reset my professional priorities.

由於那次中風，我重新設定了自己的職業重心。

With each new career opportunity — from writing books to starting a company to consulting on various projects — I learned the value of a calendar and how to avoid overcommitment.

對每一個新的事業機會——從寫書，到開公司，到給不同的項目提供諮詢——我懂得了設定日程和避免過多承諾的重要性。

I began to own my calendar and live by it.

我開始擁有自己的日程，並按之行事。

I scheduled everything in it: work commitments, exercise, walks, social gatherings and even sleep time.

我把一切都列入日程：工作承諾、鍛鍊、散步、社交聚會，甚至睡眠時間。

I continue to do so to this day.

直到今天，我依然這樣做。

I now have a daily mental reset hour that is usually every afternoon around 4 or 5.

現在，我的大腦每天有個重置時間，通常是每天下午四五點鐘。

I walk with my wife, I breathe, I smile, I meditate and say hello to random people and animals, and I write in a journal or draw.

我和妻子一起散步，我呼吸、微笑、冥想，跟陌生人和動物打招呼，寫日記或着畫畫。

Even today, as I run multiple ventures and travel frequently, I still make time to untangle from the digital world and plug back into what really matters: time with people I love, time for creativity and time in nature.

到現在，我手上已經有了好幾個公司，而且經常出差，但我依然擠時間從數字世界脫身，投入真正重要的事情：陪伴我愛的人、創新、到大自然中去。

As for my career, I look at it as a series of meaningful projects stacked one on top of another, none of them too consuming or overwhelming.

至於我的事業，我把它看做一系列有意義項目的疊加，不會讓任何項目太耗費精力或讓人難以承受。

Overload is the way of work these days.

負擔過重是如今的工作方式。

It’s how the ambitious among us are hard-wired, and it’s quite dangerous, as my experience showed.

我們當中那些雄心勃勃者難免成爲拼命三郎，這很危險——我的經歷說明了這一點。

But it’s also dangerous for us not to fully pursue — and give our all to — opportunities that move us forward.

但是，如果我們不竭盡全力去追求把我們向前推進的機會，那也很危險。

This is the dynamic tension we face in today’s creative economy.

這就是我們在今天的創意經濟中所面臨的動態張力。

If we want more, we have to give more, but we have to stay aware of what we might give up in the process.

如果我們想得到更多，就得付出更多，但我們必須知道在這個過程中，可能需要放棄什麼。

While it’s great to be ambitious, we must learn to listen for cues, step back and slow down the pace at times.

雄心勃勃固然好，但我們必須學會傾聽提醒，偶爾後退一步，放緩腳步。

We need to learn how to create space for both making a living and making a life.

我們需要學會如何同時爲謀生和生活創造空間。