大多數人都會有這樣的人生憾事

Everyone has regrets, but you always imagine that those regrets revolve around the mistakes that you think you made. Maybe you regret calling off your wedding. Maybe you wish you hadn't married the man you chose. Maybe you want to quit your job and move to Bali, but you're worried it's the wrong choice.

人人都有遺憾，但你時常想起的卻是那些你以爲的一己之過所造成的遺憾。也許你會後悔取消了婚禮。也許你希望不曾和自己選擇的這個男人結婚。也許你想辭掉工作，搬到巴厘島生活，但你又怕這是個錯誤的選擇。

We focus so much on the decisions we make in the moment, but a new study published in the journal Emotion indicates that the old adage still rings true: it's not the things you do in life that you regret, it's the things you don't do.

我們太過關注當下所做的決定，但發表在《情感》雜誌的一項新研究表明：古老格言還是有道理的：你往往不會因爲自己做過的事而後悔，但卻會因爲自己沒做過的事情後悔。

In a paper entitled "The Ideal Road Not Taken," Cornell psychologists identified three elements that make up a person's sense of self. Your actual self consists of qualities that you believe you possess. Your ideal self is made up of the qualities you want to have. Your ought self is the person you feel you should have been, according to your obligations and responsibilities.

在一篇題爲《未選擇的理想之路》（The Ideal Road Not Taken）的文章中，康奈爾大學的心理學家確定了構成一個人自我意識的三個要素。你的實際自我擁有你確信自己會擁有的那些品質。你的理想自我擁有你希望自己擁有的那些品質。你的本我就是你依據責任和義務覺得自己應該要成爲的那種人。

In surveying the responses of hundreds of participants in six studies, the researchers found that, when asked to name their single biggest regret in life, 76 percent of participants said it was not fulfilling their ideal self.

研究員在調查數百名受試者（六項研究）的迴應時發現：被問及一生中最大的遺憾時，76%的受試者都表示，他們都後悔沒有活成自己想要的樣子。

This indicates that we might have a flawed attitude toward how to avoid regret. We live in a world in which we are told that we'll have a great life if we follow the rules. So you figure that if you do all of the things that society expects of you-act like a good citizen, get married at the appropriate time, make enough money to pay the bills-that you'll feel happy and fulfilled with your life.

這表明我們在避免自己後悔的態度方面存在缺陷。我們生活在這樣的一個世界：他人告訴我們，如果我們遵守規則，就會享受美好生活。所以你認爲，如果你能做到這個社會對你期望的事情--比如做一個遵紀守法的市民、在適當年齡結婚、多掙錢付賬單--那你的人生就會幸福、美滿。

But those are all qualities associated with your ought self, which the study found people have limited regrets about (in part because they actually act on decisions associated with it). But when it comes to your dreams and aspirations, people are more likely to let them just drift by unrealized, and that's what really stings later in life.

但這是與本我相關的品質，研究發現人們對本我少有遺憾（部分原因是，他們實際上就是按照本我做相關決定的）。但在夢想和追求方面，人們更有可能不付諸努力實現這些夢想，所以年老時，人們往往會爲之後悔。