肯德基搞出甜甜圈漢堡了

KFC's latest salvo in the chicken sandwich arms race (wings race?) in the fast-food industry immediately prompted outrage.

肯德基在快餐行業的雞肉三明治軍備競賽（雞翅競賽？）中發起的最新攻勢即刻使人們憤怒了。

Some, understandably, saw the over-the-top offering — a fried hunk of bird between two glazed doughnuts in place of a bun — as a nutritional abomination: the fat! the sugar! the calorieeeeees!

有人視這種過於誇張的食品爲一種令人討厭的營養成分：脂肪！糖！卡路里！！！這是可以理解的，因爲它用兩個澆了糖漿的甜甜圈替換了夾着炸雞的小圓麪包。

Others had more existential takes. "Fried industrial chicken smashed between two stale doughnuts is maybe the best metaphor yet for Trump's America," was Grub Street's summation.

其他人對此則持存在主義的觀點。格拉布街（人們發表觀點的一個平臺）總結道，“被兩個不新鮮的甜甜圈毀掉的炸雞也許是迄今爲止對特朗普領導的美國的最佳隱喻。”

But what if — and stick with me here — it were actually ... delicious?

但如果它真的……很好吃，並吸引了我怎麼辦？

Reader, I think it might be.

讀者們，我想可能會這樣的。

I tried the sandwich at a KFC in Hopewell, Va., outside Richmond, one of three markets where the chain is testing the limited-time menu addition.

我在弗吉尼亞州里士滿外圍的霍普威爾的一家肯德基試吃了這種三明治。這是肯德基測試這一限時新品的三個門店之一。

For $5.99, I got the sandwich (does anyone really need a side of potato wedges with this?) and a gratis case of early-onset regret for the gastronomic sin I was about to commit.

我花了5.99美元買到了這種三明治（配菜是一份薯角，但你真的還需要再多那一份熱量嗎？），免費附送的還有我提前對這次胡吃海塞懷有的深深悔意。

It arrived in a cardboard shell bearing a clue as to what I'd find inside: Running down the side was a large drip of sugary glaze, like a warning sign on a highway to Candyland.

它被裝在一個硬紙盒裏，盒子上爲我提供了裏面所盛食品的線索：一大滴糖漿沿邊淌下，就像通往糖果樂園的公路上的一個警示標誌。

But I had braved the traffic on Interstate 95, and now I was seated under a large poster of Colonel Sanders and there was no turning back.

但我在95號州際公路上都勇敢地穿過車流了，而如今我坐在桑德斯上校的大幅海報下，沒有回頭路了。

Once in hand, it was clear the doughnuts were fresh from the fryer, evidenced by the way the topping melted off the pastry, pooling on the paper bed beneath it and sticking to my fingers as I attempted to wrestle it into my maw.

拿到它之後，顯然甜甜圈是剛炸出來的，因爲上面淋着的糖漿都融化了，並淌了下來，粘在了下面的紙盒上，當我試圖把它吃掉的時候，糖漿還粘到了我的手指上。

But when I did? A sweet-meets-salty, crispy-meets-pillowy mash-up that my lizard brain immediately loved despite that snooty voice in my head mocking it. The chicken filet was well-seasoned and juicy, encased in a peppery, craggy coating.

但這是什麼時候粘上的呢？我那善變的頭腦立刻就被這種甜中帶鹹、軟脆混搭的食品所俘獲，儘管我的腦海裏有一個傲慢的聲音在嘲笑它。夾着的雞排鮮美多汁，雞排表面還裹着一層辛辣的脆皮。

The soft doughnuts deflated a bit as I ate, pressing the glaze into the chicken and making the concoction easier to handle, though I still went through seven napkins eating only half of it.

在我品嚐它的時候，軟軟的甜甜圈癟了一點，把糖漿壓在雞肉上，使這種調配品更容易食用，不過我還是隻吃了一半就用了七張餐巾紙。